HOCD Survival Guide

Hello there.

Some months ago I wrote a post about my long battle with HOCD and shared my story.

It took me a long time to completely remove it (I got some bad relapses for a few days and other intrusive thoughts unrelated to it popped up without warning, such as my gaming console starting a fire due to playing too much), but now as a person who has finally cured himself out of this chronic disorder, it is finally time to write a guide about those who suffer for it and want help.

Now it is time to start and analyze the components of HOCD.

1. Repetitive voices and repeating words.

This is mostly the initial stage of the disorder. You will hear voices calling you a homosexual or being forced to repeat phrases such as "I'm not gay" and things like this. It is quite torturing and it might take as far as 2 hours to get rid of them. Those will render you numb for a long time and other people might start bothering you, making them worse and worse. Feelings of sadness and mood swings are also caused by this. As a part of my experience, my whole summer was ruined because of those voices and random mood swings.

Be patient with those thoughts, as attempted repression will cause them to multiply and bother you for days until they subside.

2. Fears of anything related to gays.

This part is very disturbing and may start to cause you to avoid all things you were able to shrug off with ease.

Examples

Reading an article on the net and finding about a person coming out as gay late in life. This mention could frighten a sufferer and check if they are gay themselves due to their reactions.

Avoidance of all gay people and stuff associated with them, because they are afraid they might be perceived as gay if they start to like those. Most common examples are avoiding hanging out with homosexuals or avoid listening to music made by them.

Just hearing the word gay or homophobic slurs. This is the worst thing, as the brain will react badly upon hearing such word and can scare you. It can also cause headaches or very high anxiety. The worst thing about it is that you did not react in such way in the past.

3. False attractions

Second worst part of this. It is the stage when you are afraid of being attracted to a guy/girl (depends on gender of the sufferer) and such person invades your mind and refuses to leave (I have suffered a lot from them). False attractions are very frequent, but they last for only a few days (or hours if you take action immediately). Intrusive thoughts about kissing said person or doing sexual acts are common and can scare the sufferer if he/she is caught completely off guard, then they proceed to repeat themselves. Also, common checking in those is if you really want to kiss them, which can be very damaging and cause the thought to be further stuck inside your brain.

4. Checking for arousal

The worst thing of all of them by far. In this stage, the anxiety has went so high that you will start to check attractive guys/girls or gays/lesbians to check for arousal, then go for the opposite sex to check. HOCD sufferers feel absolutely no arousal towards the same sex. However, said checking will backfire in a very rough and disturbing way. If said sufferer masturbates in front of his/hers opposite sex fantasies, the same-sex person he/she checked will come to the brain out of a sudden, mostly in the climax of the masturbation, and will cause maximum stress, prompting the sufferer to check again if he/she felt.

Luckily there is a way to beat those stuff. However, it requires patience, willpower and absolutely NO anxiety.

Like with most OCD subtypes, ERP is the best way.

How to do it:

Go in front of the things that cause you stress or repeat the thought that scares you. Start seeing or thinking about it, but stay calm. Under NO circumstances you should check again, otherwise the cycle will repeat again and again. Once some time has passed, the thought will start subsiding slowly and then you will realize that the stress is gone. Stay calm for a few days, and remember what I said above. DO NOT EVER DO THE CHECKING AS IT IS VERY DANGEROUS AND HARMFUL.

So that is all about it. Follow it closely and you will find the freedom you deserve.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year by the way.