how to accept things you can't change?

i'd like advice on accepting things you can't change
like.. when you're rooteen is set in stone, you know what time you want to do something, how many of an item you want, etc, and then something changes out of your control and you have to settle for second best?

like: I like even numbers, and having to settle for an odd number (completely out of your control), or setting a certain time for something, and again, out of your control, it has to happen a few minits before/ after the given time

I'd really like tips on how to manage this. they needs to be more I can do than just go in to anxiety mode and have a meltdown about it.

I used to be way more laid back in my younger days and as I have gotten older and my mental illness more pronounced I realize that all change is iffy with me, and especially change that I do not like. My routine in the morning is very rigid for no other reason than: I solved my insomnia with my going to bed/wake up routine, I am at my best in the morning, I need the time and space without people up my butt in order to start the day out well. The biggest thing I learned though was "acceptance does not mean approval" sometimes I have to literally say that to myself over and over because having to accept something that I do not like is hard for me. But over time I got better at remembering that I do not control other people, the world doesnt revolve around me and I do not know it all. I do not have to like it but I have to accept it.

I wish I could give you tangible things to make it easier. Honestly through sobriety there were somethings I had to write about in order to let go of resentments and the writing helped me put the uncomfortable stuff down in black and white which took the emotional sting out of it a bit.
An example I can think of would be when my 16 year old had a boyfriend. I knew she was having sex and it was so hard to deal with. I also knew I had to protect her. So I sat her down and told her I knew and that we were going to the gyn for birth control. She was shocked and tried for a hot minute to deny it but the "im not stupid" look on my face stopped that real quick. Did I like her having sex? No way. I thought she was too young and this boy did not seem worthy- but it was her body. I valued the honesty over the discomfort. And me saying no wouldnt stop her. She would do it anyway so my job was to get her birth control and really lay out the importance of disease prevention.

I think you hit the nail on the head, when you talked about your younger years and being more chilled (me too.)

using my morning rooteen as an example, when I was younger, I didn't give a ****. if I ate at 7 or at half 8, or even at 9, that was fine with me. didn't get dressed until 10 to 9?. fine with me too.

now I have to be dressed by 7 A.M, have breakfast by 8 30, and back in my bedroom by 9 (and their is no room for being late/ early)

if I'm dressed by 6 30, for example, it's not good enough... I need to have my clothes on by the time the clock says 7 (if I'm dressed by 6 30 their's still half an hour left)

also I can't eat breakfast at 8 31 or 8 29, the clock has to say 8 30 or I don't eat

if their's a power cut, a phonecall, something lost, what ever... then that's it- total freak out, I've failed and get angry and sulky about it

exact same for anything in my day that is proper rooteen for me

I should say that I have emsomnia too and it really sucks when you have lots of time and you don't know what to do with yourself

I mean I could get dressed at 5, for example, but that isn't my rooteen