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Old 02-21-2019, 09:02 AM #1
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Trig Obsessive compulsive?

I know I posted so many articles here, but I am changing every day. Every day I find something new about me..

I have anxiety, depression, dpdr and ADHD.

Everything except depression started when I was a kid. But it got significantly worse last year, September. I don't know who I am. I don't have any place where I feel fully confortable. I cant imagine myself as adult. I feel like I belong to psychiatry.

My amount of fears is twice the size than before. They are stronger. I became scared of germs and dirt. I am hypochondriac as well. I have intrusive thoughts that are
Possible trigger:
when I get these thoughts, I feel like that's what I am really into but I swear I'm not! I don't like numbers like 3,5,9.. And I hate corners. I dreamed about
Possible trigger:
I woke up shaking and I was all sweaty. Than through out the day, I could
Possible trigger:
. I was so disgusted but I felt like I wanted to repeat it. Is this OCD? I hate myself this is so sick. Please help.

Last edited by bluekoi; 02-21-2019 at 09:51 PM.
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Old 02-21-2019, 09:52 AM #2
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You would have to see a doctor to really find out what is going on.
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Old 02-22-2019, 08:59 PM #3
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I've tried to reply to this post a couple of times & ended up deleting what I wrote because it ended up seeming wordy & pointless. I don't know if you're talking about all of this with anyone in real life. But, at least from my perspective, I think you probably are going to have to sooner or later if you want anything to change.

I'm old now. And for most of my life any hint of mental illness was considered something to be feared & ashamed of. I learned very early in life that there were things about myself I must never talk about with anyone. And so I never did. And, as a result, nothing ever changed. In fact what I'm finding is that, as I age, I'm gradually losing my ability to keep it all stuffed down. If you don't find a way to talk through your struggle with someone in real life, I fear you may well end up like me. Please don't follow in my footsteps. They don't lead anywhere you want to go...
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Old 03-03-2019, 09:34 PM #4
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Default Re: Obsessive compulsive?

Its definitely OCD been diagnosed 22 years. The last thing you want to do is dwell on what the thoughts mean or entertain them. The thing is if you say okay I am not going to entertain them you think about them more. That how OCD works. The thing is though if someone says dont think of a pink elephant your brain is automatically think of a pink elephant right? So you got to just kind of recognize it and let it pass. When I have bad thoughts I imagine them floating up in a bubble in the sky and bursting. This is all stuff my therapists have taught me. Hope it helps!
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Old 04-04-2019, 06:59 AM #5
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It seems to me that what you say "I don't know who I am" is the source of your problem, because you go on to say all this stuff and it all goes to I am, like am I this or that a necrophiliac or whatever. But truth be told deep down we all know who we are we are "I am..." with nothing after we are the nonchanging entity witnessing all this stuff, all the thlughts which is just the ego that really wants to be something. But I tell you, you aren't your mind, your personality, or your desires you aren't even the one with those desires. All of these things are fickle and constantly changing for instance take personality, how many different persons are we really, we are one person with our family, another with friends, and someone totally different at work. Our mind with all of its thoughts is just another sense that we use as a tool, does every thought have importance to us, no way there are so many useless thoughts, the mind has to stay busy just as the lungs must continue breathing willed or unwilled.
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Old 04-04-2019, 01:04 PM #6
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