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Old 09-10-2019, 11:39 PM   #1
NotTrig
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Default Any Advice?

Okay, so before I decide that posting about this stuff was dumb and that there's nothing wrong with me and I'm just being whiny, I figured I would talk about some issues of mine, but first I'll post a bit of medical background info on myself.

- I take Zoloft (100mg dose, recently changed last week from 50mg)

- I have Tourette's Syndrome (Diagnosed age 5)

- I have ADHD (diagnosed age 6 or 7)

- I have OCD (Diagnosed same age as ADHD)

- I have GAD (Generalized Anxiety) (Diagnosed age 16)

- I'm 18

- I was recently hospitalized last November due to micro-psychotic bouts (also when they put me on Zoloft)

So I've always been moody since I was a kid, but I've recently become more worried about my mood swings and such. I often change moods many times throughout the day, and generally very fast. (I.e. I'll be completely happy with my family members and all of a sudden I won't want to talk to them and get very irritated) I also tend to get randomly angry for no reason whatsoever, and will become very "acidic" and hateful towards anything from how my sister grabbed the milk, to the color of the walls in the living room. Often these mood swings happen due to paranoid thoughts that I have. For instance my Dad was asking me a bunch of questions about my Uni classes and giving me study advice and all of a sudden I was convinced that he thought I was skipping classes, and that he thought I was too stupid for university and that I was a failure. (looking back I know how absurd these sound)I ended up getting snappy with him and stopped talking to him, I also tend to find myself in escalated arguments that start with a missing sock and end with me referring to my stepmom as a c***(this actually happened over the summer, I know I just sound like bratty kid but I genuinely just get really angry over dumb stuff). My opinion of both sides of my family drastically change 9 times out of 10 I despise my biological mother for past things, and then all of a sudden I'll be like omg I love you clearly I was just being stupid, you're great. In friendships I go between loving them to feeling like the odd one out or that they all just want to talk about me behind my back or that they like each other more than me, I've become good at keeping this to myself but it seriously keeps me up at night. Just recently I cut two long lasting friends out of my life, one was due to being mad that she accused me of something I didn't do despite my reputation as an impulsive liar (6 year friendship). I since then have gone back and forth between wanting her to be my friend again, absolutely hating her, and fearing that she has plans to turn my other friends against me. The other friendship (4 years) that I lost was due to me saying something I guess was offensive and I didn't realize, he then accused me of not being able to actually care about others, and other accusations. I also go between wanting him back as a friend, and despising him, I also fear they are both talking to others about me behind my back. If you can't tell I become obsessed with people needing to like me otherwise I get anxious (I also get really bad FOMO). These issues literally get into my dreams and cause me restless sleep. (I have had continuous nightmares since 6th grade).

***Trigger Warning I guess***

I have a history of minor self harm, always as a result of my anger. I feel that if I don't take out my anger physically on myself it will be taken out on my family or friends physically

***End of Warning***

I also become obsessed with who I am as a person, over the last three years I have switched between 7 religions, and in the past year 5 political ideologies. It's as though I can just adapt a way of thinking to belong, I have also recently decided on impulse to change my hairstyle and clothing style which I haven't done in forever. I tend to be a very impulsive person, as described by others.

Also even though I KNOW I have GAD and OCD (I've been clinically diagnosed with both) I will sometimes convince myself that I don't have them and that I made it all up because I can't stand the thought that I'm incapable of things. I further, have intense views on certain things that always shift. For instance I will go from loving therapists and psychiatrists because they do great things for society and then all of a sudden I will believe that they're F****** A**holes who only want to lock people away in mental institutes and I hate them. The other day, when thinking about English Class (Which I hate) I suddenly was like Omg I love English it's so fun, I should take more English classes they're great and the next day I woke up like ??????what?????. Also I'm confessing all of this now but I guarantee within the next little bit I will end up feeling guilty and then somehow convince myself that this isn't real or something. idk, anyway I really don't know the point in writing this
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Old 09-11-2019, 02:09 PM   #2
Skeezyks
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Smile Re: Any Advice?

Hello NotTrig: Thank you for bringing your concern here to PC. I see this is your first post. So... welcome to Psych Central.

The title to your post asked if there is any advice. I think the only advice I could offer would be to discuss all of this with whatever mental health professionals you have in your life. (Perhaps you could even copy what you've written here & give it to them to read?) We here on PC cannot offer anything in the way of mental health diagnoses. Plus I'm not a mental health professional. So I can't suggest anything with regard to what may be going on with you.

One thing you could do, here on PC, is to take some of the quizzes & tests that are on offer. There's a link to them in the banner at the top of the page. However here's another link as well:

Psychological Quizzes and Tests

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.
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Old 09-11-2019, 08:19 PM   #3
NotTrig
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Default Re: Any Advice?

Of course, yes I'm aware you aren't able to diagnose, thank you though, I will check the resources out.
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Old 09-11-2019, 09:06 PM   #4
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Default Re: Any Advice?

Although like Skeezyks mentioned and you stated, we canít diagnose here, but it might be worthwhile to read some posts by folks in the borderline personality disorder subforum or by BPD folks in the psychotherapy subforum to see if their experiences and realities seem similar to yours. A couple common features are an unstable sense of self and difficulties with anger. The posters also might have ideas on how to find some relief from such symptoms.
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Old 09-11-2019, 10:16 PM   #5
NotTrig
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Default Re: Any Advice?

Quote:
Originally Posted by HowDoYouFeelMeow? View Post
Although like Skeezyks mentioned and you stated, we canít diagnose here, but it might be worthwhile to read some posts by folks in the borderline personality disorder subforum or by BPD folks in the psychotherapy subforum to see if their experiences and realities seem similar to yours. A couple common features are an unstable sense of self and difficulties with anger. The posters also might have ideas on how to find some relief from such symptoms.
Okay, I will do that, thank you
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