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cygne
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cygne ∞ intrusive thoughts.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: where it's rainier.
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Default Dec 20, 2019 at 05:34 AM
  #21
Remember that the more you push these thoughts away, the stronger they will come back at you. Try finishing the thought, or the scene. See what happens. Maybe write it down and read it aloud. Following this thread will eventually lead you to an outcome. You can decide whether this is irrational once you let the fear speak out. Then, instead of questioning it, you can prove it otherwise and it will be silenced because you had already given it a chance to play out its hypothetical outcome.
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cygne
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cygne ∞ intrusive thoughts.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: where it's rainier.
Posts: 109
3 yr Member
66 hugs
given
Default Dec 20, 2019 at 05:43 AM
  #22
Quote:
Originally Posted by I hate myself View Post
Most of the time thoughts of me
Possible trigger:
Ugh I hate them so much 🤬😭 I wish I never had them

My Grandma used to tell me cussing was bad and she'd tell me these fantasy stories of how God, or Saint Nick would punish me for ever using cuss words. Fourth grade. The day would start fine, I'd be doing normal things and then suddenly I'd get these awful, bloody images of stabbing people and throwing them in front of the train, then I'd hear cuss words, over and over again, and I'd try to silence them. The more I tried, the worse it would get. And so I figured cussing was something that everyone did, as in, it would happen. Accidentally. Why strap myself to a chair in fear I might hurt someone? Why stress over the fear of saying a bad word? And so I let things play out. I'd tell myself this will pass. And undoubtedly, I was the only one to hear my own thoughts — my Grandma couldn't, my folks couldn't. I could be the executioner or the healer.
Don't hate yourself, communicate with yourself instead — try to understand what you are trying to tell yourself. Let the other fears seep out and leave you. Then you'll be alone and free
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