advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
floral85
New Member
floral85 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2019
Location: Florida
Posts: 4
3 yr Member
Trig Dec 18, 2019 at 03:46 PM
  #1
I can't get it out of my mind that I could have abused my cousin.

When I was a young kid I was exposed to sexual stuff way too early and I remember watching the videos and we would do what they would do in the video. I was a little over 2 and a half years older than her.

There was only one time where she kinda didn't want to do some certain thing and I asked her again. I think I was somewhere between 10 and 12 maybe.

The other times I'm pretty sure she wanted to. Sometimes she would even bring it up first.

This stuff happened off and on until I was around maybe 14-16. I Can't remember the exact age.


Also, I feel like I can remember some events.

My mom asks if I'm sure I'm not just distorting thag memory and it happened to me but I don't think so. I had to be 11 or younger for that scenario.

I've already brought this stuff up in counseling.

One thing the counselor said to me was when kids are abused they can do it to other kids.
I feel horrible if I abused someone.

I am a good person. I would do anything for anyone. So it bothers me that I could have abused her.

We had a good relationship after. I think she brought it up before saying remember what we used to do and I pretended I didn't know what she was talking about and told her she's probably dreaming because I know she wanted to do it again and I didn't anymore.

I used to feel sick after towards the last few times we did that stuff.

We were close after this though. Like we would always hang out, watch movies, go to the park, etc.

If I abused her, I don't think we would have been close after right?

Last edited by atisketatasket; Dec 18, 2019 at 09:49 PM..
floral85 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Skeezyks

advertisement
Skeezyks
Disreputable Old Troll
 
Skeezyks's Avatar
Skeezyks has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
17.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Smile Dec 19, 2019 at 02:32 PM
  #2
Hello floral: Thank you for bringing your concern here to PC. I see this is your first post. So... welcome to Psych Central.

From what you wrote, it doesn't sound to me as though you abused your cousin. It sounds as though what you & your cousin did were things you both wanted to do. You wrote that the two of you maintained a good relationship once what the two of you were doing was over. Plus you wrote that you thought she might be wanting to do it again & you didn't. That doesn't sound like abuse to me. I'm glad you've talked about this with your counselor. It's good to have someone with whom you can talk these sorts of things through... open the doors & windows & let the sunshine in, so to speak.

The one thing you mentioned that might have been handled better was where your cousin brought up what the two of you had done & you pretended not to know what she was talking about. In current parlance you "gaslighted" her. My personal, non-professional opinion would be that the better way of having handled that might have been to acknowledge what you clearly know to have been the case, perhaps offer an apology for any hurt it may have caused, & state firmly that you would not want to do it again (if it seemed as though that was something your cousin was interested in seeing happen.) Perhaps it might be worthwhile talking this through with your counselor if you haven't already.

One of the concerns here is, I think, the guilt you are feeling over what occurred between you & your cousin. So here's a link to an article, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of coping with guilt. This article provides links to a number of additional articles on the subject:

Coping with Guilt | Psych Central

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
Skeezyks is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:22 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.