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Member
Member Since Dec 2019
Location: United States
Posts: 43
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Jan 28, 2020 at 08:59 PM
#1
POCD again... I think?
I know. It’s just whenever I see a child on TV or not I get very anxious and I look away. And I am still confused on what I am because OCD makes me doubt I’m normal and I’m a monster when I don’t want to be. Its scary and I am so scared I’m a pedophile, when I masturbate intrusive thoughts come up too... and ruin it... If you read my past posts you can see my main issues with this OCD, at least I think it is. I can’t enjoy anything but South Park and Fairy tail without guilt and even then I have to look away at some scenes and it’s been like that for awhile now, anything relating to children triggers me and scares me.
Possible trigger:
Last edited by bluekoi; Jan 29, 2020 at 08:22 PM.. Reason: Add triggger icon. Apply trigger code. Edit to bring within Guidelines. |
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 bluekoi, Skeezyks
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
(SuperPoster!)
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Jan 30, 2020 at 03:58 PM
#2
I recall replying to your previous posts on this subject. Perhaps other PC members will have some insights they'll want to share. My personal opinion is you're not going to find answers to this on-line. You really have to find some way to get with a psychologist or mental health therapist who has expertise in the areas of OCD & human sexuality & then work with that person to figure all of this out.
All of this is clearly causing you untold distress. And I know something about what it can be like to live with this sort of thing. (I've had my own secrets I've carried around for many decades.) To my knowledge there are no easy answers to it. It's simply something you're going to have to work through in one way or another, preferably with the help of a knowledgeable mental health professional. The good thing is you're living at a time in history when professional mental health treatment is available. It may not always be perfect. But it wasn't so many years ago when there was no help of any sort. People who were struggling with the sorts of concerns you have, or the sorts I had, simply hid in the closet & did what they had to do to survive. I hope that, in some way, you can find the strength to reach out in real life for the help you need.  
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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 bluekoi, bpcyclist
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
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Jan 30, 2020 at 04:30 PM
#3
Constantly seeking reassurance about all this discomfort you are having is actually a part of the condition, if you did not know that already.
You need to get a therapist. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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