advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
I hate myself
Member
I hate myself has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2019
Location: United States
Posts: 43
3 yr Member
12 hugs
given
Trig May 17, 2020 at 10:19 PM
  #1
Now I am getting grandiose thoughts telling me how I am "the best at everything", "am god" and other grandiose thoughts. I honestly never really thought I was an amazing person before then and I realized I wasn't a psychopath because I can feel emotions they don't. But my real question is about these new batch of intrusive thoughts, ones telling me I am this "all-mighty" person I am not. I get thoughts like "I am better than everyone else", "they aren't as good as me", and that "I am god" when I know I am not. I am not the best and am not good at really anything overall. I don't mind having low self-esteem, so where did these thoughts come from?


Some more non-violent intrusive thoughts I get are the ones that convince me I am a sociopath, a manipulator, and a monster, and that I might act on the violent intrusive thoughts. I don't want to be cruel, be high and mighty, or be a manipulative and cold callous sociopath.


I don't see a need to manipulate others, i'm not violent, I don't want to be grandiose, nor am I charming and I am a former pathological liar.


Like my violent thoughts are less prominent, so are these, but they aren't fun and I don't want them. I just wanted to vent about this. Life was much happier in late spring to summer 2019... was it the bullying and some things my mom used to say to me at times that numbed me?

Is there a way to undo the damage to avoid harming others and losing my emotions and compassion for others.

Last edited by atisketatasket; May 18, 2020 at 09:14 AM.. Reason: guidelines
I hate myself is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Skeezyks

advertisement
Skeezyks
Disreputable Old Troll
 
Skeezyks's Avatar
Skeezyks has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
17.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Smile May 29, 2020 at 02:21 PM
  #2
I'm sorry you are still struggling with all of these intrusive thoughts. I don't have anything to offer that I haven't suggested in replies to your previous posts. But I felt badly that you had received no replies to this post. Hopefully by "bumping" your post, perhaps other PC members will yet offer up their perspectives. I hope you're doing okay.


__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
Skeezyks is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:50 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.