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Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: Texas
Posts: 10
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#1
I'm not a professional in psychology but I believe I'm correct about my assertions below. These are my personal experiences.
Information online helped to clarify my understanding of my own memory weaknesses and the related repetitiousness of everyday menial tasks. Some things I remember very well but others I don't. For example, I check certain things many times such as locking a door, turning off a stove or oven, freshening the cat's water, etc. I always had a poor memory for things like historical dates, mathematical formulas, where I leave things, etc. More recently Parkinson's Disease is exacerbating the problem. After unintentionally finding information about OCD and common behaviors of those with the disorder, I realized I would probably be diagnosed with it. And mine, if I have it, is most definitely caused by my lousy memory. I realized when I became frustrated and angry with myself for being so 'stupid' and hit the door or yelled obscenities at it... and at myself, I would remember I locked it. So there was no need to check it again. I don't know if those diagnosed with OCD also have anger and depression issues but if they're like me, they do. After years of shaming from parents, teachers and peers, one develops a self-loathing which leads to anger and depression. Poor memory leads to poor performance in a multitude of things. As a child and young man I didn't know why I was an utter failure at some things and very good at others. I believe this led me to reject some things and obsess about others. I suspect memory weakness is at the root of many
Possible trigger:
Persistent feelings of worthlessness, sadness, anger, resentment, etc. often leads to cataclysmic outcomes, either inward or outward. It wasn't until recently I replaced self-cursing and self-rage with another 'coping mechanism'. For awhile I tried staring for a few moments at whatever task I had just completed. It helped but didn't fully nullify the problem. More recently, I replaced staring with repeating the task precisely three times. I no longer need to check things I've done. I don't know why this works but it does. In my completely unprofessional opinion, those with OCD not necessarily associated with excessive infatuation with something, subconsciously developed 'coping mechanisms' for their memory problems. They developed these behaviors without realizing why they were doing them. I believe obsession with one's chosen profession or hobbies is related because it does feel good to be better than most at something. Everyone needs to have something of their own to feel proud of. Pride in personal skills and accomplishments can offset one's self-loathing for poor memory and the failures associated with it. If you read this entire verbotiousness, thank you for your time and patience. I hope this is of some meager help to others. Last edited by bluekoi; Sep 26, 2020 at 09:58 PM.. Reason: Add trigger icon. Apply trigger code. |
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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#2
Hello DazedAndKunfyoozed: Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
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Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: Texas
Posts: 10
3 1 hugs
given |
#3
Thank you. It's nice being around other people with mental health issues.😁 I think I'll fit in quite nicely.😎
Last edited by CANDC; Sep 29, 2020 at 02:14 PM.. Reason: OP request |
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