Updated Guidelines

I've been here for a little over three yrs so don't ask me to go back that far. LOL It's good to know that it's in place.

I guess if people don't read and yet agree, you can tell shortly after they start posting.

> You're right, but in this case, it struck terror in the hearts of many "little ones."

Yeah. As I said, sometimes people feel really afraid that people are attempting to mock them or pick fun or are being disrespectful or malevolent. That is an understandable response in light of past hurts.

But present situations are (most often) different in the sense that the majority of people in the world aren't *intending* to mock or pick fun or be disrespectful or malevolent.

That doesn't do anything to undo the past hurts...
It can be really hard to seperate our the past from the present and to understand when the *intensity* of the response is due to the past or the present...

interesting and very good post.....

Yep, sept, sometimes you can. Thanks for bringing that up...that all might not remembering doing this when they join.

Sky, we try to use all measures that we can, depending on the situation, to avoid suspensions, and certainly bans. Any suspension/ban that occurs has been discussed by as many of the mod/admin team as is available before acted on.

Also, this community is open to the public. In that, any suspended member can come here and read just as an anonymous person can. However, they can't chat, post or PM.

I hope that helps.

KD

> I too follow these same on line safety rules of only posting what I am comfortable having the whole world know...

And that is an approach that some people have to the internet.
But other people don't have that approach to the internet.
Why?
Because some people are afraid of other people.
Over time they come to trust the people at psychcentral and so they share intimate thoughts, feelings, concerns etc with people from psychcentral where they are NOT willing for the whole world to know.
If people changed their policy into a policy of not posting anything they weren't comfortable having the whole world knowing then they would be alone with those intimate thoughts, feelings, concerns etc.
Part of the value of sites such as this is that people can post those intimate thoughts, feelings, concerns etc in a *relatively* safe environment.
It isn't (it can't be) *perfectly* safe
But that is how a lot of people use sites like this.
To share the things that they can't share with anyone IRL.
Thus to those people...
When people repost their posts outside psychcentral they feel like their trust in people from psychcentral has been betrayed.
Kind of like how in IRL you could tell something to your friend under the understanding that they wouldn't tell anyone else and then your friend goes and tells other people.
I think that there are a fair few people who think that reposting psychcentral posts outside psychcentral is kind of betraying trust like that.

I guess that there are two (at least) different conceptions of psychcentral.

When those conceptions aren't explicit then someone who wouldn't post anything they aren't comfortable having the whole world know can't understand why people are upset about posts being duplicated off the boards. The person isn't being a hypocrite or anything because they would be accepting if other people posted their posts off psychcentral.

So no malevolent intent...

But I think it is important to know that some people do indeed see psychcentral as a place where they can post their 'secrets' to their friends.

It isn't that one conception is right and another conception is wrong... It is about understanding that different people are coming from different places... And that is required *before* people can respect those differences...

Yes, thought 'you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink' aka you can post a link to the guidelines (or get them to tick a little box at the end of the guidelines) but that doesn't mean that the person actually read or understood the guidelines.

I think another point to what you said here, is that to many with DID, PC is their whole world! They don't consider the outside of PC, at all perhaps?
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I think it does boil done to respect though. What is it to me to refrain from posting something if it upsets someone else? Will my world fall apart because I need to be considerate of others? If I can change how I post and that allows even one other member feel safer, wouldn't that be a good thing for me to do?
If I were to forge full steam ahead anyway, that would be me saying that what I think is more important than what you feel. I would never personally want that to happen.
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With the idea of guidelines, to me that's what they are guidelines. They surely can't make someone behave, can they? But they do give a sense of order and safety in knowing what can be expected. They also give those of us who wish to comply, and those who's responsibility to maintain order (admin and moderators) a guide with which to view behavior. It keeps the rule from becoming arbitrary and unfair, imo. But guidelines to me also give some freedom, because they can be adjusted if the majority or even just the admin decide some flexibility is necessary in a certain case.
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Some members who come here are more "disodered" than others, and thus need more time, more nudging, more attention, more understanding etc. Some never do fit in. Some leave on their own. I'm glad there's the flexibility to allow for those who need to learn how to fit in (yet still need PC) time to do so. Don't you think?

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I guess someone might post something somewhere else really not knowing that other people would feel upset in response.

If they have no idea that other people are going to feel upset in response then they can't take their upset into account when deciding what to do...

I guess people who have been following this thread (and probably others) now know that there are people who would indeed be upset if their posts were posted somewhere else.

Maybe they have learned something with that.

I agree that with respect to this issue one should not post other peoples posts somewhere else without their permission. A major reason for this is that DocJohn has made that one of the rules of this site.

I also think that as a general rule... Sometimes peoples needs conflict. When needs conflict it is hard to know what to do. I'm not sure the best strategy is to always put aside your needs for the sake of others. But that is just thinking on it as a general rule.

In this instance the guidelines now clearly state the rule so... That is the way it is.

Or perhaps more to the point if one chooses to post other peoples posts without their permission a consequence is that they will be blocked from posting at this site.

Hopefully that will act as a deterrant...

Because I guess the main aim of this site is to provide a relatively safe environment for people to disclose things that are hard and receive some support...

Thank you Doc!!!!!

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myself said:
No you are not the only one. I too follow these same on line safety rules of only posting what I am comfortable having t he whole world know for it is the "world wide web" meaning anything posted is open to the whole wide world and I never give out my real name, address and so on when on line.

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I am ok with first name but apart from that - nups.

So if someone quotes me (can't imagine why they would) who cares?

It is near impossible to 'police' the internet.

My suggestion is to just be careful with 'linking' things to your real identity.

And if someone says something mean then let them bounce.

it's hard to do (i know, i always have a problem and want to retailiate) but it is for the best.

But seriously ... be careful ... post what you wanna post but don't let it lead back to who you are.

My .002 cents.

ok, and again I am going to follow that up with "... be careful, but be RESPECTFUL of others who might not have thought to be careful in the past and who are now scared and feeling vulnerable"

No point in rubbing people's faces in their mistakes, if they hadn't thought to safeguard everything they say here out of fear that another member or a lurker would be unethical.

Thanks for understanding.

Hopefully, all these comments, if read by the right people, will help it to sink in that above all it's triggering to those who feel vulnerable and that it's a lack of respect for other's feelings.

I know you have no malevolent intent. and yes sometimes people have different ideas of what psych central for example some people consider each of the different locations - home, resourses, Disorders, quizes, ask, drugs, blog, news, books chats, community, photos, neurotalk and so on to all be different websites where as others believe its all one website as in - the one website called Psych Central has many pages or chapters.

Why is it so hard to understand? Why is it so hard to accept?

BY the way drunken flower, and alexandra k - even though you did not ask MY permission to quote me If you had asked I would have said yes.

By the way I was answerinmg alexandra ks statement that popel have different views about what psych central is. and I stand by my statement. It is true that I believe that many people have different views of what psych central is for everyone here comes from different experiences and different back grounds and different language and different on line language and edicute.

Some people do belienve that everything that psych central offers that can be found just by clicking on an icon is also a part of the psych central website because they can see and access those items by going (coming) to Psych Central and think about each item that can be accessed on psych central as being a new page. and also because when they click on those icons the website in the search bar that tells where the person is contains the name - psychcentral which means it is the same website just a different page.

Where as others believe search bar location and dispite their seeing the icons on the website psych central believe that each of those icons leads the person to a completely different website.

I was not stating whether of not it was ok to take something from the community boards into those other areas of the same website.

I was just supporting Alexandra _K's statement that people have different ideas of what psych central is.

and I stand by my statements of support because no body has the same experiences, computer classes and so on so every ones views of what is considered psych central is going to be different based on their own life, culture, experiences and computer knowledge.

And still other people believe

I don't want to get into this argument. I'd say the guidelines as well as Doc John post about it where clear and especific.

Im not argueing. I recieved pm which I cannot discuss here so I was just clarifying my above post. I am not questioning, argueing or going against Doc John's post. I am just clarifying my support of another member that brought up what I felt was a very good point - that people have different views of what psych central is.

I personally believe that persons statement is true.

This was not meant to be anything more than it was -

support for one persons statment that people have different views of psych central.