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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
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#1
When I was young I was very tender hearted. I would cry about people getting hurt etc. When I was about 21 I noticed a shift. I started getting enjoyment about bad things. One day my brother hurt his knee. I saw my sister grab the rubbing alchol ( its all we had ) and I knew my brother was about to scream. When he did I laughed. I noticed he kind of looked at me puzzled. That day I knew something wasnt quite right. As I got older I brought it up in therapy that I thought alot of things were funny that werent. I was never diagnosed and the more I thought about the more I noticed things. Then I stopped obsessing about it. I still realize its there but it didnt consume me. I gave it a name because I felt it was a twisted piece of my personality. I named it Thorn. Like a torn in my side because it bothered me so much. I have been diagnosed so many things in my life I cant possibly be all of them. I was even diagnosed as having DID which I know I dont have. Anyone have a clue what this could be. Am I a psychopath?
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Anonymous57363
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Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
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#2
The internet probably isn't the best place to look for definitive dianosis'. PC, included.
I did find a blog in the archives worth exploring in your quest for self discovery. Pleasure from Someone Else's Pain |
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#3
[QUOTE=Dnester;6383457]
Psychopaths do not have a conscience or any form of empathy for anyone. So, if they were taking pleasure from another's pain, they would not feel bad about it. You said you do feel badly; you called that aspect of yourself Thorn. You do not sound like a psychopath. I do not know what is causing you to enjoy other's pain; could be a complex reaction to experiences in your life...bad things that happened to you in the past. Or maybe something else entirely. I don't know. I recommend discussing this with an experienced therapist. If the previous therapist did not really explain it or help you to understand it, then I recommend finding a new one. I think it's important to remember that the PC forums are designed for members to support each other..we cannot diagnose each other's problems. Sorry you are struggling |
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,417
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#4
I think it's a defense mechanism. Your brain chooses to make fun of things because if you took them seriously you would get crazy from feeling so much.
It happens to me too. I am usually hypersensitive but on the other hand I have periods or certain cases when I don't feel absolutely anything. I know rationally when I should act like I'm being touched and express sympathy but I don't really feel it. At first I was shocked by this lack of feeling but I came to understand it's actually a proof of being too sensitive. __________________ Complex trauma Highly sensitive person I love nature, simplicity and minimalism |
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