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Default Jan 26, 2019 at 09:59 PM
  #1
The idea of moving is getting real, and I'm starting to consider what is really best for me. Drop the fight and think it through. If mom would stay put, I'd probably stay put. Mom is planning to move to the county that removes me from my current services, and puts me with the people partially responsible for the death of my son.

My case manager saw me broken down, not the seemingly normal person I am now. She's seen the improvement. I don't want someone who would doubt my disability.

This unit is a great opportunity. Newly renovated, subsidized. I could establish my independence while mom was still alive. Rather than be forced into upon her death.

I really have to think what is best for me. Security, company, less financial stress. Versus daughter, services, independence. Suggestions?

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Default Jan 27, 2019 at 05:28 AM
  #2
It's an hard decision, Aviza, so I understand your doubts. I think being independent may be the better option on the long run. Yes, it will be hard at first, but hopefully it will be worth it. Also, if you think this would be better for your daughter, then I'd strongy encourage it. You have to take care of her as well after all. So I'd say that if you have thaechance, try to move as soon as you can. This is just my opinion, though. The final decision is up to you. Take your time to think about this, as it's a very important decision. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
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Default Jan 27, 2019 at 05:42 AM
  #3
So glad you have improved! It's your choice--change is scary but it helps us grow. Sounds like whatever choice you make--you are about to have a change of scenary. Where would YOU rather live?
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Default Feb 02, 2019 at 05:37 AM
  #4
Just take the apartment.
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Default Feb 02, 2019 at 12:53 PM
  #5
I agree. Take the apartment and remove yourself from your mother's shadow.
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Default Feb 03, 2019 at 09:24 AM
  #6
I have mostly decided to move but my mom is laying on the guilt. She needs my help around the house and she does. But I have to do for me. I think mostly she doesn't want the added work. She can do it but it's a big house and a lot of work to maintain.

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Default Feb 04, 2019 at 07:48 PM
  #7
My mom tossed a hissy when I moved. Her mom, my grandmother supported my decision.
I have a roof over my head. There's groceries in the home. Lights are on. She said it would be my biggest mistake. Odd looking back on that time. I was proud of her independence when she became a widow. Then she went to a hs reunion. Quickly engaged and quickly remarried. Which looking back was a trend. Even my own father cannot "do life" alone.

I was not and am not their fill for loneliness and voids. And neither should you.
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Default Feb 05, 2019 at 04:23 PM
  #8
Meeting with housing person Thursday. Got my paperwork done.

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Default Feb 05, 2019 at 07:49 PM
  #9
Sometimes we have to take things when they come our way. You dont know when or if the opportunity will come again. Less people in the house means less work for your mum. She can close rooms off that are not used.

Her dumping guilt on you is manipulation to get what she wants not and does not address your long term needs. Good luck with the housing person on Thursday.
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Default Feb 07, 2019 at 06:33 AM
  #10
I'm glad you've decided to move, Aviza! I'm sure things will go well. Just be careful. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
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Default Feb 07, 2019 at 05:33 PM
  #11
Saw the apartment today. I've never lived without a dishwasher, that's a huge change. Laundry another big change but one I was expecting. It's in good shape. But I left one rental badly and I'm not sure I'll be approved, they seem really strict. Fingers crossed.

My rental report is fine but they interview previous landlords and that complex has already bad mouthed me. So they're bound to do it again. Pretty sure I won't be approved. Despite having rebuilt my credit score. I owe them 2 months rent, and remember damaging the fire alarm that went off constantly despite calls to repair it. It interrupted my sleep was making me crazy. They got the deposit money. But I know they got me kicked off one list. I don't know what to do about it. Besides wait it out.

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Default Feb 08, 2019 at 05:35 PM
  #12
Fingers crossed. A dishwasher free life is all I've pretty much known. My grandparents had one. My stepmom had one but other than that, I've not lived with one. And life carries on. Laundromats around me have been modernizing from the days of cashing in bills for quarters. I can load my laundry card with a card or cash and it's easier for me. With three teenage sons I'm in the $23 or more range. Breaking an extra bill for such a difference used to hinder me.
Hopefully their checks on your last apartment don't hold you back. Fingers crossed!
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Default Feb 09, 2019 at 02:04 AM
  #13
I would go to where you think you would be happiest and safe.
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Default Feb 10, 2019 at 06:50 PM
  #14
sounds like an awesome break to make. Hard but awesome in the long term -- you have to look after you!
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Default Feb 16, 2019 at 08:31 AM
  #15
Well I'll be approved if I get a letter from the former apartment outlining a repayment plan. I have to have the letter by Tuesday. I had to send the first payment to get the letter, making money tight. I was short 200 dollars this month from my vacation last month. I don't get time off, so this added expense is hitting me really hard. So if I'm able to get the letter in time I'm in. The check was supposed to arrive Friday, I bill paid it, but she said she didn't get it. Monday is a holiday. That's why I have until Tuesday. It'll be Tuesday too. Well if God really wants me to move I'll have the letter. I feel like he does.

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Default Feb 16, 2019 at 09:14 AM
  #16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aviza View Post
Well I'll be approved if I get a letter from the former apartment outlining a repayment plan. I have to have the letter by Tuesday. I had to send the first payment to get the letter, making money tight. I was short 200 dollars this month from my vacation last month. I don't get time off, so this added expense is hitting me really hard. So if I'm able to get the letter in time I'm in. The check was supposed to arrive Friday, I bill paid it, but she said she didn't get it. Monday is a holiday. That's why I have until Tuesday. It'll be Tuesday too. Well if God really wants me to move I'll have the letter. I feel like he does.
Have you done your taxes yet? If you get a refund that might give you some relief. I hope you are able to get the letter on Tuesday. Being on your own will be good for you in the long run....
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Default Feb 17, 2019 at 09:24 AM
  #17
Yes I did my taxes.

I'm worried she won't give me the letter in time. She now says she's going to wait for the check to post. With it being a holiday that won't happen in time. I don't know if I should call and ask for an extension. She's not available until Tuesday, I did call Thursday and say working on it. This is stressing me out need to many documents and not enough time.

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Default Feb 18, 2019 at 11:46 AM
  #18
I calmed down. I told her if she wants a money order instead I would bring one tomorrow. But she would than have to hold the check til the 3rd. I said it's very important to me to have the letter tomorrow. I haven't heard back but I think it's reasonable.

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Default Feb 18, 2019 at 06:08 PM
  #19
Got the letter I needed! In time! Yeah.

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Default Feb 18, 2019 at 11:40 PM
  #20
One major hurdle down! Glad to see that the letter arrived!
And tomorrow is Tuesday, will you be in contact with her?
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