FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Magnate
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
11 86 hugs
given |
#1
The idea of moving is getting real, and I'm starting to consider what is really best for me. Drop the fight and think it through. If mom would stay put, I'd probably stay put. Mom is planning to move to the county that removes me from my current services, and puts me with the people partially responsible for the death of my son.
My case manager saw me broken down, not the seemingly normal person I am now. She's seen the improvement. I don't want someone who would doubt my disability. This unit is a great opportunity. Newly renovated, subsidized. I could establish my independence while mom was still alive. Rather than be forced into upon her death. I really have to think what is best for me. Security, company, less financial stress. Versus daughter, services, independence. Suggestions? __________________ Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P. Daughter: 20 Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs. |
Reply With Quote |
Anonymous55879, avlady, Fuzzybear, Goforward, mote.of.soul
|
Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
(SuperPoster!)
7 38.4k hugs
given |
#2
It's an hard decision, Aviza, so I understand your doubts. I think being independent may be the better option on the long run. Yes, it will be hard at first, but hopefully it will be worth it. Also, if you think this would be better for your daughter, then I'd strongy encourage it. You have to take care of her as well after all. So I'd say that if you have thaechance, try to move as soon as you can. This is just my opinion, though. The final decision is up to you. Take your time to think about this, as it's a very important decision. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
|
Reply With Quote |
Anonymous55879, avlady
|
Aviza
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#3
So glad you have improved! It's your choice--change is scary but it helps us grow. Sounds like whatever choice you make--you are about to have a change of scenary. Where would YOU rather live?
|
Reply With Quote |
avlady, MickeyCheeky
|
Aviza, MickeyCheeky
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,367
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,277 hugs
given |
#4
Just take the apartment.
|
Reply With Quote |
MickeyCheeky
|
MickeyCheeky
|
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
(SuperPoster!)
11 4,168 hugs
given |
#5
I agree. Take the apartment and remove yourself from your mother's shadow.
|
Reply With Quote |
avlady, MickeyCheeky
|
MickeyCheeky
|
Magnate
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
11 86 hugs
given |
#6
I have mostly decided to move but my mom is laying on the guilt. She needs my help around the house and she does. But I have to do for me. I think mostly she doesn't want the added work. She can do it but it's a big house and a lot of work to maintain.
__________________ Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P. Daughter: 20 Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs. |
Reply With Quote |
Anonymous55879, avlady, MickeyCheeky
|
MickeyCheeky
|
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
(SuperPoster!)
11 4,168 hugs
given |
#7
My mom tossed a hissy when I moved. Her mom, my grandmother supported my decision.
I have a roof over my head. There's groceries in the home. Lights are on. She said it would be my biggest mistake. Odd looking back on that time. I was proud of her independence when she became a widow. Then she went to a hs reunion. Quickly engaged and quickly remarried. Which looking back was a trend. Even my own father cannot "do life" alone. I was not and am not their fill for loneliness and voids. And neither should you. |
Reply With Quote |
Anonymous55879, avlady, MickeyCheeky
|
Aviza, MickeyCheeky
|
Magnate
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
11 86 hugs
given |
#8
Meeting with housing person Thursday. Got my paperwork done.
__________________ Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P. Daughter: 20 Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs. |
Reply With Quote |
Anonymous55879, avlady, MickeyCheeky, possum220
|
healingme4me, MickeyCheeky
|
Legendary
Member Since Jan 2009
Location: Uppa Gumtree West
Posts: 19,397
(SuperPoster!)
15 7,983 hugs
given |
#9
Sometimes we have to take things when they come our way. You dont know when or if the opportunity will come again. Less people in the house means less work for your mum. She can close rooms off that are not used.
Her dumping guilt on you is manipulation to get what she wants not and does not address your long term needs. Good luck with the housing person on Thursday. |
Reply With Quote |
avlady, MickeyCheeky
|
Aviza, healingme4me, MickeyCheeky
|
Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
(SuperPoster!)
7 38.4k hugs
given |
#10
I'm glad you've decided to move, Aviza! I'm sure things will go well. Just be careful. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
|
Reply With Quote |
avlady
|
healingme4me
|
Magnate
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
11 86 hugs
given |
#11
Saw the apartment today. I've never lived without a dishwasher, that's a huge change. Laundry another big change but one I was expecting. It's in good shape. But I left one rental badly and I'm not sure I'll be approved, they seem really strict. Fingers crossed.
My rental report is fine but they interview previous landlords and that complex has already bad mouthed me. So they're bound to do it again. Pretty sure I won't be approved. Despite having rebuilt my credit score. I owe them 2 months rent, and remember damaging the fire alarm that went off constantly despite calls to repair it. It interrupted my sleep was making me crazy. They got the deposit money. But I know they got me kicked off one list. I don't know what to do about it. Besides wait it out. __________________ Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P. Daughter: 20 Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs. |
Reply With Quote |
Anonymous55879
|
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
(SuperPoster!)
11 4,168 hugs
given |
#12
Fingers crossed. A dishwasher free life is all I've pretty much known. My grandparents had one. My stepmom had one but other than that, I've not lived with one. And life carries on. Laundromats around me have been modernizing from the days of cashing in bills for quarters. I can load my laundry card with a card or cash and it's easier for me. With three teenage sons I'm in the $23 or more range. Breaking an extra bill for such a difference used to hinder me.
Hopefully their checks on your last apartment don't hold you back. Fingers crossed! |
Reply With Quote |
Aviza
|
Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: angola ny
Posts: 9,786
(SuperPoster!)
11 28.8k hugs
given |
#13
I would go to where you think you would be happiest and safe.
|
Reply With Quote |
Aviza, healingme4me
|
Member
Member Since Aug 2018
Location: n/a
Posts: 98
5 73 hugs
given |
#14
sounds like an awesome break to make. Hard but awesome in the long term -- you have to look after you!
|
Reply With Quote |
healingme4me
|
Magnate
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
11 86 hugs
given |
#15
Well I'll be approved if I get a letter from the former apartment outlining a repayment plan. I have to have the letter by Tuesday. I had to send the first payment to get the letter, making money tight. I was short 200 dollars this month from my vacation last month. I don't get time off, so this added expense is hitting me really hard. So if I'm able to get the letter in time I'm in. The check was supposed to arrive Friday, I bill paid it, but she said she didn't get it. Monday is a holiday. That's why I have until Tuesday. It'll be Tuesday too. Well if God really wants me to move I'll have the letter. I feel like he does.
__________________ Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P. Daughter: 20 Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs. |
Reply With Quote |
Anonymous55879
|
healingme4me
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#16
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
healingme4me
|
Magnate
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
11 86 hugs
given |
#17
Yes I did my taxes.
I'm worried she won't give me the letter in time. She now says she's going to wait for the check to post. With it being a holiday that won't happen in time. I don't know if I should call and ask for an extension. She's not available until Tuesday, I did call Thursday and say working on it. This is stressing me out need to many documents and not enough time. __________________ Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P. Daughter: 20 Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs. |
Reply With Quote |
Anonymous55879
|
healingme4me
|
Magnate
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
11 86 hugs
given |
#18
I calmed down. I told her if she wants a money order instead I would bring one tomorrow. But she would than have to hold the check til the 3rd. I said it's very important to me to have the letter tomorrow. I haven't heard back but I think it's reasonable.
__________________ Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P. Daughter: 20 Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs. |
Reply With Quote |
Anonymous55879
|
healingme4me
|
Magnate
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
11 86 hugs
given |
#19
Got the letter I needed! In time! Yeah.
__________________ Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P. Daughter: 20 Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs. |
Reply With Quote |
Anonymous55879
|
healingme4me
|
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
(SuperPoster!)
11 4,168 hugs
given |
#20
One major hurdle down! Glad to see that the letter arrived!
And tomorrow is Tuesday, will you be in contact with her? |
Reply With Quote |
Reply |
|