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Old 01-26-2019, 08:59 PM #1
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Default It's getting real

The idea of moving is getting real, and I'm starting to consider what is really best for me. Drop the fight and think it through. If mom would stay put, I'd probably stay put. Mom is planning to move to the county that removes me from my current services, and puts me with the people partially responsible for the death of my son.

My case manager saw me broken down, not the seemingly normal person I am now. She's seen the improvement. I don't want someone who would doubt my disability.

This unit is a great opportunity. Newly renovated, subsidized. I could establish my independence while mom was still alive. Rather than be forced into upon her death.

I really have to think what is best for me. Security, company, less financial stress. Versus daughter, services, independence. Suggestions?
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Old 01-27-2019, 04:28 AM #2
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Default Re: It's getting real

It's an hard decision, Aviza, so I understand your doubts. I think being independent may be the better option on the long run. Yes, it will be hard at first, but hopefully it will be worth it. Also, if you think this would be better for your daughter, then I'd strongy encourage it. You have to take care of her as well after all. So I'd say that if you have thaechance, try to move as soon as you can. This is just my opinion, though. The final decision is up to you. Take your time to think about this, as it's a very important decision. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
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Old 01-27-2019, 04:42 AM #3
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Default Re: It's getting real

So glad you have improved! It's your choice--change is scary but it helps us grow. Sounds like whatever choice you make--you are about to have a change of scenary. Where would YOU rather live?
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Old 02-02-2019, 04:37 AM #4
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Default Re: It's getting real

Just take the apartment.
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Old 02-02-2019, 11:53 AM #5
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Default Re: It's getting real

I agree. Take the apartment and remove yourself from your mother's shadow.
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Old 02-03-2019, 08:24 AM #6
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Default Re: It's getting real

I have mostly decided to move but my mom is laying on the guilt. She needs my help around the house and she does. But I have to do for me. I think mostly she doesn't want the added work. She can do it but it's a big house and a lot of work to maintain.
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Old 02-04-2019, 06:48 PM #7
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Default Re: It's getting real

My mom tossed a hissy when I moved. Her mom, my grandmother supported my decision.
I have a roof over my head. There's groceries in the home. Lights are on. She said it would be my biggest mistake. Odd looking back on that time. I was proud of her independence when she became a widow. Then she went to a hs reunion. Quickly engaged and quickly remarried. Which looking back was a trend. Even my own father cannot "do life" alone.

I was not and am not their fill for loneliness and voids. And neither should you.
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Old 02-05-2019, 03:23 PM #8
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Default Re: It's getting real

Meeting with housing person Thursday. Got my paperwork done.
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Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P.
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Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 80 mgs.
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Old 02-05-2019, 06:49 PM #9
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Default Re: It's getting real

Sometimes we have to take things when they come our way. You dont know when or if the opportunity will come again. Less people in the house means less work for your mum. She can close rooms off that are not used.

Her dumping guilt on you is manipulation to get what she wants not and does not address your long term needs. Good luck with the housing person on Thursday.
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Old 02-07-2019, 05:33 AM #10
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Default Re: It's getting real

I'm glad you've decided to move, Aviza! I'm sure things will go well. Just be careful. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
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