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Old 03-21-2019, 05:59 AM #11
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Default Re: Mean

Well, one thing for sure, people are irrational at a deep level and it's normal to have conflicting thoughts and impulses, so there's that. Sounds to me like some kind of anger at people, and at that moment a lack of empathy. Which I don't mean as a criticism, but just looks like those are two feelings, one that might be there and one that isn't there, but we are culturally expected to feel or express.


Also, I notice your mood is "don't know." Maybe, like me, you have trouble identifying your feelings at times. Kinda sounds like that is happening here.


Edit: Also, there's a thing called schadenfreude - taking pleasure in other people's misfortune. You can google that word and read more about it if you like.
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Old 03-22-2019, 04:45 PM #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
Sorry to hear this. I do not relate.
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Last edited by Dnester; 03-22-2019 at 04:46 PM. Reason: Mispelled Fuzzybear
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Old 03-22-2019, 05:45 PM #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dnester View Post
I noticed in my early 20s that I began to have happy feelings towards bad things. Like seeing someone wounded in an accident or hearing about a murder. I even catch myself smiling at these things from time to time but I dont really think they are funny. Well a part of me does though. What could this be?

May I ask you something? And if you don't want to answer I completely respect that! But I am wondering if you were abused in your life? Or did your parents or caretakers treat you in very unloving, unkind and mean ways?

I wonder and ask this because often times, people who have been severely hurt in their lives, feel some amount of comfort when others too are hurt. So I am wondering if maybe in a way it gives you comfort and a level of happiness to not feel so alone in your pain?

I could be totally wrong of course... just wondering. And again, if that is too invasive, please forgive me for asking!
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Old 03-22-2019, 06:44 PM #14
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Default Re: Mean

I relate. I have found as I got older I have a wicked mean streak. I don't know how to describe it to people. I wouldn't go out of my way to hurt someone, but I just have a more "tough" reaction to everything. A hunger to get out. It seems to me like it is a bit of a contrarian reaction. It isn't that I am mean, it is just that everyone else's reaction causes me to want to go the other way.

I am on my condo board and at the last annual meeting a resident actually yelled out that I was mean. But I didn't see it that way. NOT enforcing the rules is mean to those who comply without having to be told.

I like to watch shows like "Dexter" (even though I think Dexter is kind of like a super hero). Or Dietland where someone goes off the rails and hurts people who "deserve it" also, Sweet / Vicious.

I have thought it about it and if I was in a kill or be killed situation I know I would kill. I actually took a firearm course and was going to get a gun but decided against it out of fear I would shoot myself.

When someone who deserves it has their life destroyed (say by being convicted of a crime) I smile.

When a bad person dies a bad death (from say cancer -- I do enjoy knowing how they suffered). While everyone else seems horrified.

I have said many times when my former abusive boss dies I will spit on his grave and everyone recoils in horror like I have said the worst thing ever. But I have no apologizes.

I do believe some people deserve to die.

I like to say *truth* bombs all over the place - but most people think that *truth* these days is being mean. I don't see it that way.

I don't feel I have suffered abuse and maybe I have always been this way a little. When the Challenger disaster happened my first reaction was to just burst into hysterical laughter. It just was so ironic that after all the hype it spectacularly blew up on tv in front of the nation. Though of course I do feel bad and wish it had not happened... the overwhelming irony of the situation won out in my emotions.
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Old 03-22-2019, 07:11 PM #15
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Default Re: Mean

Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
May I ask you something? And if you don't want to answer I completely respect that! But I am wondering if you were abused in your life? Or did your parents or caretakers treat you in very unloving, unkind and mean ways?

I wonder and ask this because often times, people who have been severely hurt in their lives, feel some amount of comfort when others too are hurt. So I am wondering if maybe in a way it gives you comfort and a level of happiness to not feel so alone in your pain?

I could be totally wrong of course... just wondering. And again, if that is too invasive, please forgive me for asking!
I had a very unkind mother and stepfather. I also had some sexual trauma.
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Old 03-22-2019, 07:15 PM #16
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Default Re: Mean

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton View Post
I relate. I have found as I got older I have a wicked mean streak. I don't know how to describe it to people. I wouldn't go out of my way to hurt someone, but I just have a more "tough" reaction to everything. A hunger to get out. It seems to me like it is a bit of a contrarian reaction. It isn't that I am mean, it is just that everyone else's reaction causes me to want to go the other way.

I am on my condo board and at the last annual meeting a resident actually yelled out that I was mean. But I didn't see it that way. NOT enforcing the rules is mean to those who comply without having to be told.

I like to watch shows like "Dexter" (even though I think Dexter is kind of like a super hero). Or Dietland where someone goes off the rails and hurts people who "deserve it" also, Sweet / Vicious.

I have thought it about it and if I was in a kill or be killed situation I know I would kill. I actually took a firearm course and was going to get a gun but decided against it out of fear I would shoot myself.

When someone who deserves it has their life destroyed (say by being convicted of a crime) I smile.

When a bad person dies a bad death (from say cancer -- I do enjoy knowing how they suffered). While everyone else seems horrified.

I have said many times when my former abusive boss dies I will spit on his grave and everyone recoils in horror like I have said the worst thing ever. But I have no apologizes.

I do believe some people deserve to die.

I like to say *truth* bombs all over the place - but most people think that *truth* these days is being mean. I don't see it that way.

I don't feel I have suffered abuse and maybe I have always been this way a little. When the Challenger disaster happened my first reaction was to just burst into hysterical laughter. It just was so ironic that after all the hype it spectacularly blew up on tv in front of the nation. Though of course I do feel bad and wish it had not happened... the overwhelming irony of the situation won out in my emotions.
Yeah with me its like when my mom was telling a horrible story I had to stiffle my smile. It was really bad and these people didnt deserve it. Then someone mentioned and dismembered body and the same thing. It makes me happy in a way that other things dont but it also makes me feel horrible. I was a sensitive child and would never have felt that way then. I noticed when I was a young adult.
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Old 03-25-2019, 08:12 PM #17
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Default Re: Mean

((((((((( hugs )))))))))

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