[sinking]

I have to thank the flu i got last week because it has taught me a lot.

1. i loved having high fever, so high i could only lie down in my bed, in the dark and lost in time.
2. i loved not being hungry
3. i loved not wanting or needing anything
4. i loved being taken care of by my mom
5. i loved not having to go to work
6. i didnt mind not feeling good enough to see my friends
7. i loved not having to think or worry about anything

seen all this, i'd say i felt HAPPY, especially the first days.

maybe i've found out what makes me happy in life.

may sound weird, feeling happy when sick but id say its the closer i got to happiness during the last abt. 10 years of my life.

I LOVE BEING SICK!

and now i feel terrible going back to normal life tomorrow. as if i'll die if i have to live daily life

[MickeyCheeky]

Thank you so much for making this thread, sinking! I find it pretty funny I completely agree with you. Having the flu has its advantages. You have an excuse to just stay in bed and do nothing. Sometimes we need it. It's a nice way to rest. I hope you're doing ok, sinking. I missed reading your posts here on PC. Sending many hugs to everyone

[Skeezyks]

Yes I think I understand this. I'm not sick... well at least not physically. But I am old. And several of the things you listed are similar to the reasons I don't mind being old...

[SlumberKitty]

Yes, I feel that way too sometimes when I'm sick. I get it. HUGS Kit

[avlady]

im sorry but I don't agree. I had it 2 times this year and felt so useless for 2 weeks and couldn't get anything done. my husband and son did everything for me and I felt guilty for not having to do anything. I do see what you mean although, I just wish I didn't have it so bad.

[sinking]

I think i've been idealizing those days. Everything was still and harmless. i was floating in the dark numbness and there was nothing worrying me at all. i was feeling PEACEFUL.
i want that again.
i feel like crying at work, thinking about those days and thinking about my mom. i've been idealizing her care too. its the second time in my life i've been idealizing her so much.

i want to die. theres nothing good in life for real.
what am i doing at my house? at my job? in my life?
what am i doing alive at all?

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, sinking Please don't give up. You're a wonderful person. I hope you'll be able to get the help you need and deserve. You deserve to get better and to feel good. You deserve to live a good life just like everyone else. I hope things are going ok with your therapist. Do you still see him/her? Hopefully he/she will be able to help you. Don't throw it all away. You're worth it. Your life is worth it. Please remember that. Remember that things won't stay like this forever. They can and will get better. Remember that you're strong. Remember that you're a warrior. I'm here for you if you need to talk about it. Stay strong, sinking. Stay safe and take care of yourself. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm sos orry you have to deal with this

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((( sinking )))))))))