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Old 03-15-2019, 06:58 AM #1
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Trig age of dying

is anyone else here set on an age where they think enough is enough, I don't want anything past that age

I've thought about this long and hard (it's something that's important to me), and I've decided that I'd hate to live past the age of 50- I think 50 is my limit

is this wrong?

actually setting up the age you want it all to end?

I don't think so. to me it's a comfort, to me it's knowing when I've had enough (and 50 years on this earth is what I believe I can take), and it's helping me plan ahead better for like the end etc

thoughts?
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Old 03-15-2019, 07:40 AM #2
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Default Re: age of dying

What are you going to do when you celebrate your 50th birthday and wake up the next morning?
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I had a bf when I was 18 who would say he didnít plan to live past 23. That was very disturbing to me. I tried to discuss with him exactly what and why he was thinking and saying that. I was one factor I broke it off with him. As far as I know he is still alive. We are over 50 now.
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Old 03-15-2019, 08:07 AM #3
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Default Re: age of dying

I don't think that it's wrong and I totally understand it being a comfort, so long as it is really a comfort and not part of some downward thought spiral if you know what I mean.

I think your impulse to draw a line under what is supportable (sorry can't get correct English word here) is fine. I was talking for the first time at the weekend about assisted dying because I saw a friend suffer from attempts to revive her while dying, and I want to die in peace without well-intentioned medics thumping on me. It was a relief to say that and have it accepted by other people and has encouraged me to put this limit legally into place as best I can.

It is important to me personally to respect life. I was also talking to some people about killing people who don't respect your religion and I realised that my baseline is that I can't create life - it's a big mystery where it all comes from - so I am not going to destroy it. Someone tried to murder me and I was surprised to find myself deciding that I wasn't going to take out a knife and kill him.

But there are limits to the suffering that I want inflicted on me in the name of medical science, and I don't see why anyone has to make a decision about that except my self. It's a horror to me to be bashed back into life when I am on the edge of leaving it.


I'm not at all wanting to get rid of you raging vortex!!! Enjoy your presence on these forums. Just don't think that you have to feel guilty or ashamed about such thoughts.

Also when my friend knew that her illness was terminal, she lived her last few months fully to the joy of friends and other people around her. I don't know how many years you have before 50 (???) but perhaps we could throw a big party for you on PC meanwhile?
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Old 03-15-2019, 08:21 AM #4
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Default Re: age of dying

My father died at 44. When I was approaching that age, I was thinking something similar to the idea behind this post. It was based on survivorís guilt, IMHO. I lived past 44.
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Old 03-15-2019, 08:53 AM #5
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Default Re: age of dying

dying at a certain age. in reality the only way that can be accomplished is if someone committed suicide right on their birthday of that certain age.

my first and immediate thought is what a way for my family to remember me for. ... yea amanda was my mom and todays her birthday but she didnt want to get any older so she committed suicide. She cared for us in her own way but she cared more about getting rid of what her problems were the fast way instead of doing the work....

yea not the way I would want to be remembered. and not the way I would want my loved ones to feel every year on my birthday after my death...

but in general not related to me death by a certain age, thats an interesting concept. I just watched a movie on netflix where no one was allowed to live past the age of 30. (logans run)

what a sad idea too because looking back at all the things I would have missed if there was death at a certain age. ... my children, my wife, all the great experiences we have had together including things like going to north pole NY, reading that great book I just finished with, ....

my suggestion read your past posts and notice all the different positives that you would have missed out on. look at your present life, that favorite foods and such, events that you enjoyed and notice they are scattered through out your lifetime. bad things dont happen at or by a certain age. and good doesnt stop happening by a certain age.

My point I am a firm believer that even though we have mental and physical health challenges we can have a good and happy life too. we all make our own choices in life. I choose to make the choices that will give me the kind of life I would like to have. Rather than focusing on dying by a certain age.
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Old 03-15-2019, 09:16 AM #6
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Default Re: age of dying

How morbid. How insulting to those of us over 50. My best years thus far were my forties and this 52nd year is shaping up to be a fabulous one.

Please don't sell yourself short are the words that come to mind. How unfortunate you should think this way.

What more can I say? There is a sense of freedom that comes with middle age. I am no longer pressured to look a certain way. At 30 I felt I still was required to look 19. At 40 I felt pressured to maintain a youthful appearance and be impossibly slender. Now at 50 I feel a liberation from that pressure to conform. There is freedom from other mindsets too. Essentially I am free to be who I want to be and my worries about judgement are starting to subside. I still have my moments but it is easier to hold my head up high in a crowd. My relationships have improved with age too.

I feel for you that you see no value in getting older. Self-doubt must be strong. Am I correct in that there are some self-worth and self esteem troubles in your life?
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Old 03-15-2019, 09:30 AM #7
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Default Re: age of dying

I understand what you mean, raging vortex Sometimes I have thought about it as well. I don't think it's wrong at all! It's normal to set up the age we want to live. I don't think you're wrong in doing it, as long as you don't do anything dangerous. Most of us want to live a fulfilling life, after all. If it's helping you to plan your life better, then go ahead and keep doing it! Anything that may help you feel better. Just stay safe and take care of yourself. We all love you here. Please remember that. Sending many hugs to you, raging vortex. You're a strong, wonderful person
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Old 03-15-2019, 09:35 AM #8
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Default Re: age of dying

Quote:
Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky View Post
I understand what you mean, raging vortex Sometimes I have thought about it as well. I don't think it's wrong at all! It's normal to set up the age we want to live. I don't think you're wrong in doing it, as long as you don't do anything dangerous. Most of us want to live a fulfilling life, after all. If it's helping you to plan your life better, then go ahead and keep doing it! Anything that may help you feel better. Just stay safe and take care of yourself. We all love you here. Please remember that. Sending many hugs to you, raging vortex. You're a strong, wonderful person
It is unhealthy thinking. Yikes, is it normal to set up the age we want to live?

When I was very young, 50 seemed old. As I aged, 50 became the new 30.
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Old 03-15-2019, 10:58 AM #9
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Default Re: age of dying

First of all, you don't know how you will feel at 50. Old age has its own rewards.

When my older kids were small I thought I'd do myself in when the youngest turned 18. I had another baby when she was 13, so that plan went out the window. Then I started having grandkids and wanted to stick around to enjoy them. Also along the way I had a few health issues which I might have died from if not treated. I found that I very much did not want to die.

Now at 60, I sometimes feel that the best is past and there is nothing to look forward to, but I also know that you never know what tomorrow will bring. I am now in a good situation that I never dreamed would come my way.

I think your thinking and priorities will change through the years. Heck at 50 you're a half a century old! Something to be proud of! It's not all downhill after 50.

So to answer your question, you can set a date but I'd bet when the time comes you might feel differently.

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Old 03-15-2019, 11:43 AM #10
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Default Re: age of dying

Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
What are you going to do when you celebrate your 50th birthday and wake up the next morning?
Possible trigger:


I had a bf when I was 18 who would say he didnít plan to live past 23. That was very disturbing to me. I tried to discuss with him exactly what and why he was thinking and saying that. I was one factor I broke it off with him. As far as I know he is still alive. We are over 50 now.


Possible trigger:


that's my thought process anyway

considering I've had a **** life, I think I'm actually being generous to myself saying 50, giving myself the chance to live to that age and see what it's like (I don't hold my breath)
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