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Old 03-27-2019, 03:02 PM #1
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Default Does this help you?

Iím posting this here since I think it probably applies.. or doesnít.. to those with several (or many?) different diagnoses (I personally have been given several diagnoses including CPTSD, severe depression and anxiety. I donít define myself by my diagnoses, Iím a human (bear) which is the only description I need really (other than possibly for insurance purposes)

My question is and Iím sure youíve heard this many times ďfake it until you make itĒ

Does this help you?

Yes
No or
Sometimes

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Old 03-27-2019, 03:07 PM #2
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Default Re: Does this help you?

Hello Fuzzybear! Not sure that I myself have ever used that phrase. But do suppose it could be helpful depending on what type of problem/issue/struggle may be going on. If that phrase is helpful to you, then I say go for it! Nothing wrong with guiding our lives on POV (points of view) or compulsive guidance if it is not harmful
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Old 03-27-2019, 03:21 PM #3
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Default Re: Does this help you?

Yes, Fuzzy, I do use that phrase, and have used it to good effect ever since my old therapist recommended it to me.

You see, I'm not a people person, and throughout my life have had terrible problems getting along with people. So one day during a session, I asked her, "Ruth, if you could give me one piece of advice that would help me relate to other people, what would it be?"

So guess what she said? "Fake it till you make it." And she, being a minister's daughter, had beaucoup experience dealing with people of all makes and models, in all types of situations. And she, unlike me, loves people.

Hope that helps. It helped me.
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Old 03-27-2019, 08:58 PM #4
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Confused Re: Does this help you?

No. All that faking it ever did was to cause me to embarrass myself trying...
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Old 03-28-2019, 02:08 AM #5
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Default Re: Does this help you?

Good question, Fuzzy.

A huge ďnoĒ in my personal life experience. A life lead where I cannot be myself, damages me. I accept others as they are and I respect authenticity and like that we are not all the same.

I will push myself out of my comfort zone, temporarily, to enhance my life and help loved ones.
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Old 03-28-2019, 05:03 AM #6
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Default Re: Does this help you?

I'm voting no. I have too many negative connotations with the word 'fake' for that phrase to work for me, personally. I often feel like I am 'faking it' and I don't like the feeling.
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Old 03-28-2019, 07:08 AM #7
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Default Re: Does this help you?

I don't use this phrase
the phrase I use is,

" it is what it is"

this is what you have, these are the diagnoses, you just got to make the best of what life gave to you
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Old 03-28-2019, 08:33 AM #8
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Default Re: Does this help you?

The context I've heard this most in, is with respect to AA and spirituality. They kept telling me to try praying until I came to believe in it, and as an avowed atheist this was a major turnoff.


I do find it somewhat helpful to think of is when it comes to my social phobia and going to events. I go and force myself to socialize while pretending to feel confident when i really just want to curl up into a little ball and disappear, and to an extent it works - with time, the social situation becomes a little more comfortable.


So for me, it all depends on the context it's used in.


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Old 03-28-2019, 09:16 AM #9
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Default Re: Does this help you?

Nope!

My recovery began in the early 1990s. Over the years, many therapists I went to would encourage me or flat out tell me to do something I was not comfortable doing because it made me too anxious, sometimes not understanding why. Now I know a lot of that is because of my Complex PTSD diagnosed in 2017.

Over time, I realized as my self-esteem healed and came back to life that my foundation of self-loathing, self-hatred and self-destruction my family waterlogged me in had to heal before I could do anything I avoided. There are still lots of things I will avoid, but I am slowly making my way through how to manage those.

As my self-esteem healed by facing and validating my wounded emotions, I saw the difference in my feelings when I avoided something before because I had unresolved pain connected to that emotion. I had to resolve that before I could consider doing anything I avoided in the past. And that is the coolest thing to experience because I see firsthand how much better I am doing. That brings me much joy and contentment!
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Last edited by HappyCrafter; 03-28-2019 at 10:20 AM.
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Old 03-28-2019, 10:39 AM #10
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Default Re: Does this help you?

Nope.....I am a "what you see is what you get" kinda person.

When I was in a bad mental health condition I was & that was all there was to it.

When I escaped my bad situation I was not in good shape. Had just gone through a trauma, was dealing with anorexia (I had been medically hospitalized for) & the depression & anxiety I had been originally diagnosed with. Determination made me move 2100 miles away alone. I was such a mess my now EX-H i found out was sure I couldn't make it alone & would come back to him within a few years. Well I didn't.

The thing was that I was struggling when I left....but the change in my life made a huge difference. I didn't fake anything.....but I worked hard to heal from all those previous 54 years of life. I would talk about some things with friends about some of the things. But in the environment I have moved to faking was not necessary. The new environment was all part of my healing process & so were the wonderful supportive people & my little farm & my special time with one of my dog's Leo who was along with the awesome T I found....were my best T's I ever had.

I did not focus at all on how bad things had been. I focused on what I had to do to make the new life I wanted for myself. There was really no time or place for faking it in the new life I was making for myself....it was & still is all about learning & doing.
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