Asociality

I haven't had the motivation or drive to socialize or make new friends for a long time. Usually it's the other party that initiates the conversation. And I'll just say a few words, conversation ends, that's it. I wonder if this is part of my personality, the lack of desire to socialize with people. At times I force myself to go into the chatrooms but I don't know where to begin with.

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, stayingafloat! I think it's important to ask yourself first if you WANT to socialize with other people! I believe you don't have ANY obligation to do so if that's not what you're craving and what you desire! Some people are introverts or simply don't like being around other people too much and there's NOTHING wrong with that! Everyone is different after all! However if you DO desire to socialize but you're struggling with it, perhaps you just need to work on your social skills a little bit more! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help! You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings! Perhaps you could learn new ways to learn new social skills as well! Of course that's ONLY if you desire to socialize with others! Like I've said, you don't have any obligation to do that if you don't want to! Just ask yourself what you truly desire in your heart! I think it's important to accept ourselves for who we truly are and yes, it MAY be simply part of your personality! Like I've said, there's NOTHING wrong with it as long as you're content and happy with yourself! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let me know if I can do something to help you! Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes! Sending many hugs to you, stayingafloat!

I’m sorry you’re struggling with this stayingafloat. I second what MickeyCheeky said. He said it better than I could, I’m also available if you ever want to private message me. Please do let us know how it goes, I’m sending many hugs

I was like that when I was living in an environment that caused depression & anxiety. I had no idea that wasn't me until I escaped that environment when the "me" that had been hiding inside if me for 54 years was finally free to come out.

We don't know if that personality is us or our environment. I look back & sensed that I wanted more....but even now I limit my socializing because I get exhausted....though I enjoy chatting with people when I go to a store. I moved from Los angeles to a little town of 8000. I feel more comfortable in small groups,towns, etc. Just feels more manageable & comfortable & that helped me very much.

Saying all this.....however it still could just be the way you are.....& that needs to be ok if it is.

I've been like that sometimes. Like Eskielove says, sometimes I don't have enough spare energy - or the motivation - for social situations, and sometimes that has been down to the social situations on offer not being satisfying for me.

I agree with MickeyCheeky to ask yourself honestly what you want. I've been in a painful state when I desperately wanted social contact and was miserable but had to force myself to get out of my front door just like you describe. I've also had times when I was drained by challenges in my life and desperately wanted some solitude.

There was a time in my life when because of counselling I forced myself to socialize and thought, "whoah, this is exciting and possible" but later felt disappointed by all of those new social contacts that I had made. In particular I was experimenting socialising with the opposite gender and I wasn't solid enough in myself to feel happy with the result.

Everyone is different. As I get older I realise more and more that humans don't come in standard packages, no matter how much it seems like that on the media and looking in on social groups from the outside. Even some therapy/ counselling techniques seem to put over the message that we should be a standard package, regardless of our life experience.

What is true for me may be false for you. I would just counsel you to be a little patient and to deliberately celebrate any social experiences that give you pleasure in your daily life. Have a gentle talk inside yourself about this, and listen.

That's me, I have a great need for gentleness/ listening in my inner life. If I can listen internally with patience... eek, that's a big step... I can find my own solutions.

I am like that naturally. The less people you have in your life the less trouble you have. There re not a lot of people who are into the same things I am anyway, so there that is....