Asociality - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-12-2019, 08:32 AM #1
stayingafloat's Avatar
stayingafloat stayingafloat is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: -
Posts: 213
stayingafloat stayingafloat is offline
Member
stayingafloat's Avatar
stayingafloat has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: -
Posts: 213

3 yr Member
125 hugs
given
Default Asociality

I haven't had the motivation or drive to socialize or make new friends for a long time. Usually it's the other party that initiates the conversation. And I'll just say a few words, conversation ends, that's it. I wonder if this is part of my personality, the lack of desire to socialize with people. At times I force myself to go into the chatrooms but I don't know where to begin with.
stayingafloat is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:

advertisement
Old 04-12-2019, 10:16 AM #2
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 9,450
MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is offline
Wise Elder
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky My echo is the only voice coming back
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 9,450 (SuperPoster!)

2 yr Member
30.8k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Asociality

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, stayingafloat! I think it's important to ask yourself first if you WANT to socialize with other people! I believe you don't have ANY obligation to do so if that's not what you're craving and what you desire! Some people are introverts or simply don't like being around other people too much and there's NOTHING wrong with that! Everyone is different after all! However if you DO desire to socialize but you're struggling with it, perhaps you just need to work on your social skills a little bit more! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help! You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings! Perhaps you could learn new ways to learn new social skills as well! Of course that's ONLY if you desire to socialize with others! Like I've said, you don't have any obligation to do that if you don't want to! Just ask yourself what you truly desire in your heart! I think it's important to accept ourselves for who we truly are and yes, it MAY be simply part of your personality! Like I've said, there's NOTHING wrong with it as long as you're content and happy with yourself! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let me know if I can do something to help you! Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes! Sending many hugs to you, stayingafloat!
MickeyCheeky is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-12-2019, 11:07 AM #3
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 80,300
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 80,300 (SuperPoster!)

15 yr Member
52.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Asociality

Im sorry youre struggling with this stayingafloat. I second what MickeyCheeky said. He said it better than I could, Im also available if you ever want to private message me. Please do let us know how it goes, Im sending many hugs
__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-17-2019, 09:14 AM #4
eskielover's Avatar
eskielover eskielover is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 21,434
eskielover eskielover is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
eskielover's Avatar
eskielover has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 21,434 (SuperPoster!)

10 yr Member
11.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Asociality

I was like that when I was living in an environment that caused depression & anxiety. I had no idea that wasn't me until I escaped that environment when the "me" that had been hiding inside if me for 54 years was finally free to come out.

We don't know if that personality is us or our environment. I look back & sensed that I wanted more....but even now I limit my socializing because I get exhausted....though I enjoy chatting with people when I go to a store. I moved from Los angeles to a little town of 8000. I feel more comfortable in small groups,towns, etc. Just feels more manageable & comfortable & that helped me very much.

Saying all this.....however it still could just be the way you are.....& that needs to be ok if it is.
__________________
Asociality



Leo's favorite place was riding shot gun in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
eskielover is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-18-2019, 12:50 AM #5
saidso's Avatar
saidso saidso is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: Europe & UK
Posts: 508
saidso saidso is offline
Veteran Member
saidso's Avatar
saidso has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: Europe & UK
Posts: 508 (SuperPoster!)

150 hugs
given
Default Re: Asociality

I've been like that sometimes. Like Eskielove says, sometimes I don't have enough spare energy - or the motivation - for social situations, and sometimes that has been down to the social situations on offer not being satisfying for me.

I agree with MickeyCheeky to ask yourself honestly what you want. I've been in a painful state when I desperately wanted social contact and was miserable but had to force myself to get out of my front door just like you describe. I've also had times when I was drained by challenges in my life and desperately wanted some solitude.

There was a time in my life when because of counselling I forced myself to socialize and thought, "whoah, this is exciting and possible" but later felt disappointed by all of those new social contacts that I had made. In particular I was experimenting socialising with the opposite gender and I wasn't solid enough in myself to feel happy with the result.

Everyone is different. As I get older I realise more and more that humans don't come in standard packages, no matter how much it seems like that on the media and looking in on social groups from the outside. Even some therapy/ counselling techniques seem to put over the message that we should be a standard package, regardless of our life experience.

What is true for me may be false for you. I would just counsel you to be a little patient and to deliberately celebrate any social experiences that give you pleasure in your daily life. Have a gentle talk inside yourself about this, and listen.

That's me, I have a great need for gentleness/ listening in my inner life. If I can listen internally with patience... eek, that's a big step... I can find my own solutions.
__________________
*"Fierce <-> Reality"*

oh god I am struggling today, help me to remember how to stay connected and human!

remember: the nut shell against human predators and my own fear!
saidso is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-19-2019, 07:34 PM #6
Medusax's Avatar
Medusax Medusax is online now
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2017
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 620
Medusax Medusax is online now
Veteran Member
Medusax's Avatar
Medusax has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2017
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 620

2 yr Member
287 hugs
given
Default Re: Asociality

I am like that naturally. The less people you have in your life the less trouble you have. There re not a lot of people who are into the same things I am anyway, so there that is....
__________________
I go about my own business, and keep my mind on myself and my life. I expect the same courtesy from the rest of the world.
Medusax is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:05 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.