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Old 08-08-2019, 03:18 PM   #41
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Default Re: Those on disability or unemployed - What to do during the day (socializing)?

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It looks like rats in your avatar. I've had many rats as pets. I loved them. I miss them. They are so intelligent, interesting, and loyal.
I've had several over the years but last one 8-9 years ago or so. Especially one was really cool, very clever, she rode on my shoulder almost everywhere I went. She was friendly from the day I got her, even if she never had been handled. I don't have them anymore because it is difficult how short lifespans they have. But I had about 15 over time, plus my friend's rats that shared space with mine, so maybe 30 in all.
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Old 08-09-2019, 12:11 AM   #42
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Default Re: Those on disability or unemployed - What to do during the day (socializing)?

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I am still on disability and really wish there was somewhere to go during the work week (daytime hours) where I could meet new people to make new friends. Yes, I know there is volunteering, but I'm not quite in a work type mode yet. I've tried it and failed a number of times. I know there are daytime classes, but I take a one hour class once per week already, and it's expensive. Everything else seems to cost a lot of money. Many things "out" maybe expose me to people, but not in a socializing sense.

Getting back into socializing more will help prepare me to succeed at future volunteering and eventually a job. But I need to take baby steps.

Pretty much every social gathering (support groups, meetups, book clubs) are in the evenings and/or on the weekends. That's not when I need the extra social interactions. Plus, evenings are hard for me.

I have seen a couple meetups during the daytime hours weekdays, but they seem to be stay at home moms or retirees. I'm neither. I not even a mother and will not be.

Is there anything out there to do? I almost wonder if I should try to start a special daytime workday meetup, but that seems like an overwhelming thing for me to do right now. If I did, the most I'd want to spend is the cost of a coffee at a cafe or maybe a movie or occasional lunch a couple times per month. I am open about the people I'd meet. They need not have a mental illness, but I would want a variety enough to not feel like an odd-woman out (i.e. the only woman not a stay at home mom or retiree).

Unfortunately, I only really feel confident driving 20 miles or less, each way (preferably not all on major highways), from my home. That's another barrier I have to deal with.
I know exactly how you feel @BirdDancer As I’m on Disability now & always will be unfortunately. I’ve not only got mental health issues but also multiple painful physical ones too.

I can’t even do volunteering as I’m just not well enough to. I also live in a rural coastal area which is very isolated and hours away from the city. Our children are all grown up & have left home along with many friends that have also moved a long way away.

There aren’t many social events to go to. Those that they do have I don’t feel comfortable going to. Mainly because of socioeconomic reasons. In other words I feel looked down upon because I don’t work. Along with all my “invisible disabilities” that nobody can see nor understand.

If it wasn’t for my husband I would have given up years ago. Problem is after years of traumatic health events with me have taken their toll on him now. He’s also been diagnosed with Bipolar, Major Depression & Anxiety Disorder.

Sometimes it’s so tough that we both feel like giving up literally....know what I mean?

I wish you luck with Meet UPS etc I really do. I’ve thought of starting one myself out here? But don’t think I have reliable enough physical health to carry through with it. If not for my physical health problems I could do it. I feel so frustrated as once I had a successful career and lots of confidence.

However after so much sickness over the years, life has gradually chipped it all away. Sorry to sound so down but I truly am.

I wish you all the best with your socialising!
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Old 08-10-2019, 08:20 PM   #43
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Default Re: Those on disability or unemployed - What to do during the day (socializing)?

There is a "drop in center" a couple blocks from where I live where I can socially meet up with others with mental illness, but I have to stick close to my husband... There are activities in my apartment building too but well I'm almost afraid to make friends. . the little old ladies confronted me and said "do you have Asperger's, all of us were wondering" and knowing I'm so different people notice hurts me
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Old 08-10-2019, 08:42 PM   #44
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Default Re: Those on disability or unemployed - What to do during the day (socializing)?

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There are activities in my apartment building too but well I'm almost afraid to make friends. . the little old ladies confronted me and said "do you have Asperger's, all of us were wondering" and knowing I'm so different people notice hurts me
Wow! Even if I'm quite proud of my aspie traits (I feel they are the good part of me), I would be kind of shocked if someone asked me like that. Like, what is that to do with them? If I notice something about others, I don't go confront them. I'd feel so rude if I did.

Now I don't know if you have aspergers, but I kind of guess you do, since your pic of yourself quite looks like... me! You look more like me than ANY of my relatives!!! IDK, but that is just awesome.

Being different shouldn't be a bad thing, but for it to be a good thing one must first feel included. We all need that, to be accepted and be in a context. Some people confuse inclusion with being similar to others, but that doesn't have to be true at all.

You sound like an awesome person and I feel bad that they felt it was OK to say such thing to you. I'd even feel threatened, like "WE all were wondering..." Like, what? Talk about them creating an us and them feeling. Having strong interests and passions is rare, and I feel it's so cool when someone is really passionate about something. Even if it's not what I'm interested in. My own passions are starting to wear off so... yea.
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Old 08-10-2019, 09:11 PM   #45
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Default Re: Those on disability or unemployed - What to do during the day (socializing)?

I had a public meltdown and they asked me after it happened but they said they suspected very soon after i moved into the building... I have very strong passions which is like the most aspie-like trait I have... the ladies actually are familiar with autistics and one of them says I behave very similarly to her grandson with Asperger's. She wants to get me a weighted vest to help calm me.

There is an Asperger's lady in this building too who hangs out with the same ladies I mentioned above who sometimes talks to me, she thinks I'm Asperger's too lol

Once I went to a bipolar support group, first time I attended, I open my mouth to introduce myself and I get interrupted and a random lady asked "are you autistic too?"

Anyway many mental health professionals and therapists have said it too even, but I've never had a "formal" evaluation and my insurance wouldn't fully cover the cost. Closest I've had was a therapist highly suspecting and giving me the AQ test and RAADS-R and advising testing based on the results. Taking the AQ and RAADS R online and other quizzes, I always test in the autistic range.

But the cooccuring mental illness complicates things...
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Old 08-10-2019, 11:35 PM   #46
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Default Re: Those on disability or unemployed - What to do during the day (socializing)?

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There is an Asperger's lady in this building too who hangs out with the same ladies I mentioned above who sometimes talks to me, she thinks I'm Asperger's too lol

Anyway many mental health professionals and therapists have said it too even, but I've never had a "formal" evaluation and my insurance wouldn't fully cover the cost. Closest I've had was a therapist highly suspecting and giving me the AQ test and RAADS-R and advising testing based on the results. Taking the AQ and RAADS R online and other quizzes, I always test in the autistic range.

But the cooccuring mental illness complicates things...
That there is an asperger woman there already makes me feel a little better because they haven't excluded her.

But yea I can still understand it is emotional if people keeps pointing it out. I would think what the hell do I have a badge saying it or what's going on? It would be strange if people just picked it up like that. I usually pass below people's aspie radar, but that is because I think my ADD shows more.

And for sure, mental illness mixed into it does complicate things! I have so many diagnoses that there aren't even enough boxes on my profile page for all of them. It's weird because I feel rather sane... And knowing what is what. I think for example my sleep issues and my physical illness are somehow connected to aspergers and ADD. What a mess.. LOL.
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Old 08-20-2019, 01:45 PM   #47
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Default Re: Those on disability or unemployed - What to do during the day (socializing)?

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There is a "drop in center" a couple blocks from where I live where I can socially meet up with others with mental illness,
Does anyone have experience starting a group like this? Not necessarily for those with mental illness but for those who may know someone or live with someone with mental illness also.
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