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TheUrOther
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Default Jun 27, 2019 at 09:08 AM
  #1
I've recently learned about the Asch conformity experiments (Asch conformity experiments - Wikipedia) that show that people are more likely to submit to popular pressure than they are to stand for factual reality. This is considered "normal", pro-social, and non-toxic.

This is positively horrifying to me.

This is a major, if not the primary, reason for my social woes. Lies are told about me all the time, and people simply agree with the liars even if the facts are in front of them. Between those who slander and libel me, and those who simply "go along" with this abuse simply to be "agreeable" there is no one left, no one who will defy the liars and see the real me.

On top of this, people are demanding that *I* be "agreeable" - they demand that I promote and perpetuate the abuse that "agreeableness" supports! They demand that I erase my own self-determination - and for the purpose of supporting abuse on top of it! This seems as bad as a warcrime to me. They want me to erase my very being to support the same heinous acts they inflict on me!

How do I defeat this? How do I break the cycle of abuse for the sake of "agreeableness"? How do I get people to stop treating me badly because it's popular when the first step of abuse is not taking me or anything I express seriously? And how do I stop getting punished for not submitting to perpetuate this abuse?

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Travelinglady
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Default Jun 28, 2019 at 09:03 AM
  #2
I am very familiar with issue of conformity in the line study, being that I am a social psychologist. Not everyone conformed and not every time, thank goodness.

I'm sorry folks have ganged up on you and tried to keep you from changing.

My suggestion is to start seeing a therapist (don't tell anybody), so you can get the support you need to be your own person. I had to do that in my personal life.

These folks are not going to change, given that something keeps them conforming. Fear? Wanting to stay in the good graces of the family?

I am behind you all the way. Please keep us informed. Okay?
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Default Jun 28, 2019 at 10:46 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Travelinglady View Post
I'm sorry folks have ganged up on you and tried to keep you from changing.
They did not prevent me from changing; they demanded I change under penalty of grievous injury or death. And nothing I did was good enough - they kept moving the goalposts; they did not act in good faith. Their strategy was to exhaust my resources in order to finish me off; they never had any intention of accepting me or acknowledging my achievements.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Travelinglady View Post
My suggestion is to start seeing a therapist (don't tell anybody), so you can get the support you need to be your own person.
I have already seen multiple therapists. I have been diagnosed with treatment-resistant Complex PTSD; I have been injured too badly to ever be healed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Travelinglady View Post
These folks are not going to change, given that something keeps them conforming.
Then, if I weren't already dying, then my death would be again guaranteed. Their beliefs will eventually force them to kill me. They cannot accept me without having an identity crisis in the process - they define themselves by how much better they are from me.

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Default Jun 28, 2019 at 01:07 PM
  #4
So, are you just telling us your situation? If they are dangerous to you, then call a women's shelter and get out. Okay?

Are you working? Do you have money to get out?
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Trig Jun 28, 2019 at 08:56 PM
  #5
There are many things I have apparently not made clear enough.

First, the people I describe are basically all people. These aren't just a local handful; the vast majority of interactions I have with the human race are this abusive. So, for instance, I cannot "get out" because these people exist worldwide - there's nowhere to go to where there aren't more of them. All human beings will always be imminently dangerous to me, simply because of human nature. Human beings have an innate fear - and subsequent need to conquer and dominate - what they don't understand. After experiencing my entire life from birth in social isolation, I am completely incomprehensible to others who don't have specific training in social or psychological sciences. Even you are misunderstanding me - and you're a social psychologist.

Second, as a male, I doubt I'd be welcome in a women's shelter - in fact, I will likely be blamed for everything those women suffer.

Third, there are two reasons I say I will be dying soon. The first is that after a life-long overexposure to cortisol, my oragns are going to give out on me soon. My doctors gave me what is now only about half a year before a "cascade" happens and my systems all collapse under each other's failing stress. The second is that I'm reaching the ends of te statistical odds of me being murdered by the peopel who want me dead. I'm only alive now because people don't want to get their hands dirty killing me, but it seems society is getting bad enough that people wil start getting over that - either that or people will simply get sick of me living after forty years of my continued existence "mocking" them.

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Last edited by bluekoi; Jun 28, 2019 at 09:12 PM.. Reason: Add triggger icon.
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Default Jun 28, 2019 at 09:57 PM
  #6
Oh, my, can it be said that your issue is more of an existential one? How can I help?

I'm sorry about your health issues.

Sorry I assumed you were female.
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Default Jun 29, 2019 at 12:08 AM
  #7
People assume a lot about me - all of it wrong. Then people spread their assumptions as if they were facts.

I'm not sure what you mean about "existential" in this context. I have been hated my entire life, excluded from all groups and denied all basic human contact and experiences.

The best way to help me is to answer my questions, asked in the first post of this thread, to wit:

Quote:
How do I defeat this [blind agreeableness]? How do I break the cycle of abuse for the sake of "agreeableness"? How do I get people to stop treating me badly because it's popular when the first step of abuse is not taking me or anything I express seriously? And how do I stop getting punished for not submitting to perpetuate this abuse?

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