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Aviza
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Default Dec 24, 2019 at 02:36 PM
  #1
It's in the family and I have it. I passed my stress test eco guy kept saying awesome as he viewed my heart. Ok that's good news but I don't drink or smoke and other family members have and lived to 90's. Am I going to live to 100? This is a real problem.

I don't have a retirement plan, I won't do well when my mom and brother die. Especially my brother. If he takes after dad heart disease at 45, he's a few years away.

I know it's good news but I was hoping I was going to die during the test. Now I'm afraid of having a long meaningless life.

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Default Dec 24, 2019 at 05:49 PM
  #2
Hi Aviza. Glad to hear you have a healthy body. It is hard to imagine ourselves alone in this world without parents and siblings.

Maybe this is a wake up call to let you know it is time to think outside the personal self and think of and help others relieve some of their suffering. That can really help me when I remember it.

I just heard of someone whose neighbor baked some cookies and brought them over as a Christmas gift. It is the thought that counts. Every day can be a holiday.

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Default Dec 24, 2019 at 06:50 PM
  #3
Good news
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Default Dec 24, 2019 at 08:44 PM
  #4
I don't have any great ideas...if I did, I'd be practicing them. I just want to say that I understand how you feel. Would I like to live to be 100? Yes. Would I like to live to be 100 when I've lost everyone and everything dear to me...and I'm painfully lonely and afraid? I can't say that yes, I would. I've had so many losses already, with so many more to come, it's a great mystery to me as to how I'm supposed to withstand things.

I hope that life becomes more golden for you, for me, and for others like us.

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Default Dec 25, 2019 at 02:54 AM
  #5
The world is your oyster...

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Default Dec 25, 2019 at 05:53 AM
  #6
Nobody whether they have the longevity gene or not can predict how long their life is going to be. In some areas people are growing older and are healthier but this is no guarantee that all of us will reach a ripe old age.

Rather than worry about having a retirement plan, though it's maybe an option for you to look into, maybe you could look into a plan for living the best life in the time you do have allocated to you in the here and now.
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Heart Jan 07, 2020 at 10:42 PM
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I wish the best for you.
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Default Jan 08, 2020 at 03:47 AM
  #8
Well both sets of my grandparents lived into late 80’s and Late 90’s

Foolish me assumed my parents had a long life ahead of them. I lost both my parents by age 35. Most all of my cousins still have healthy parents in 70’s and up.

Sure genetics play a part in how long our life might be but so many things just happen my father leukemia, my mom heart arrhythmia, passed in her sleep.

Maybe I’ll have a long life ? I’m 52 now. I am not in great health due to numerous medical issues. If I can still do for myself most things I’ll be happy to live as long as I do , but if my health continues downward I truly hope I get lucky and pass away in my sleep like me mom.

As for finances ? I am on disability. My husband also , it’s impossible to save money scrapping by on it. There is a small policy if my husband passes before me. I fear for my future , how will I afford even the basics. So I understand your financial concerns fully. I have no answers

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Default Jan 08, 2020 at 10:15 AM
  #9
I'm also glad to read that you have a healthy heart, especially since heart-related early deaths are so common.

I also think about what will happen if I'm the "last one standing" in my family. I don't have any children, but even if I did I am of the mindset that (in this day and age) that children need/should not have to be responsible for their parents. Well, at least ideally, though I know that was more the case in the past. I'm the youngest in my immediate family. I'm almost 13 years younger than my husband. I've been on disability for quite a while now, so obviously have not personally been adding to any 401K. As it stands, my personal retirement savings would not last long. As for Social Security (disability or standard for old age) its future is uncertain and it's not that much money considering inflation of all sorts. But that's where the suggestions from others above come in. Thinking outside the box. Adjusting lifestyle in a way that you can live with, but is much simpler. In my favor, I am not a person who requires fancy stuff, big house, etc. I could probably be almost as happy in a private room in a shared house as living alone in a much bigger one. I'm a fan of Henry David Thoreau's "simplicity". It's good to seek out simple pleasures that cost very little or even nothing. They do exist. Creating action plans in advance (when you are still well and/or supported) are wise, I think, rather than waiting until the you know what hits the fan. Such planning is a better use of time than dreading.

I think the above-mentioned planning is especially important for those of us with mental health issues. I often think "So if hubby dies before me, what's going to happen? Am I going to end up in the psych ward, or worse?" The answer may still be "yes", but maybe with some pre-planning I wouldn't, or it wouldn't be so long of a recovery. I know that there are things that I would have to do, if I lost my husband, that I currently don't know how to do. I've had therapists remind me that I need to learn.
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Default Jan 14, 2020 at 02:58 PM
  #10
I can't report anything about genealogy as I am adopted.

I will just throw something out there:

NO one is promised tomorrow. There is only the present. And that's all there ever is. The past is unreachable and the future has yet to come. I can see how you might worry about having a "meaningless" life and it might seem like a looming darkness, but there is so much you can do in this life.

Please remember that you make your life what it is. It is not meaningless if you find a way to enjoy it.
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