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davidanswers
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Default Jul 05, 2019 at 01:26 PM
  #1
I am facing a hard situation which dates back to early childhood. In summary there were marriage problems between my parents and due to cultural aspect, divorce was out of question. My mother used the approach of building or planting hate between the children and my father. After my father passed away, my interaction with my mother became closer and I discovered the truth that my father did what was best for the children and in summary he sacrificed his life for his children. I am a mature adult with international qualifications and never ever had a problem with the law (other than traffic fines), I never had trouble at school or within the area I was living in. I managed to find a way to try to amend the wrongs of the past, all I can say it is an unorthodox way or method. At the start of this issue after the passing of my father i gained so much weight as I did not know what to do and I have not given the rightful respect to my father, this is eating me inside, but once I figured a way to amend the wrongs, I started to feel better about myself. I planned the whole thing and I am in the process of completing the project, I will put it into action when I am ready. Now I am doing exercise for more than hour a day (sometimes I take one day a week for relaxation), I have lost considerable weight and I manage to eat well, I feel better inside as my project is going better than I expected. I can think straight and feel very good and proud of myself. Here is a link to my issue that I posted here before if anyone wants more info: Has she lost her mental capacity? Urgent advice needed. Thanks. I acknowledge and understand that whatever I do now will not turn back time and make all wrongs right! and I understand that taking revenge is not the answer, what I am doing is defending my rights. I appreciate feedback to my question: Am I in major need of mental help? every one needs some support, but am I going of the rocks as they say? thanks in advance.
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Default Jul 05, 2019 at 02:28 PM
  #2
Having read your posts, it sounds like you need counselling to help you deal with this process. Or life coaching, whichever seems best. But start with another person who is there to listen to and advise you, who is a professional. Then see a primary care physician and explain how you feel physically. Have some blood tests, find out what your health is and see if you need any meds. You are looking for external validation for your suspicions about your mother and you won't find that on here. If she won't agree to see a physician or a lawyer to sign power of attorney, then this can be done in her absence if she is diagnosed as incapable. But take care of yourself first, so you have the strength to deal with this. Good luck.
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davidanswers
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Default Jul 06, 2019 at 09:35 AM
  #3
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Originally Posted by Little Cat View Post
Having read your posts, it sounds like you need counselling to help you deal with this process. Or life coaching, whichever seems best. But start with another person who is there to listen to and advise you, who is a professional. Then see a primary care physician and explain how you feel physically. Have some blood tests, find out what your health is and see if you need any meds. You are looking for external validation for your suspicions about your mother and you won't find that on here. If she won't agree to see a physician or a lawyer to sign power of attorney, then this can be done in her absence if she is diagnosed as incapable. But take care of yourself first, so you have the strength to deal with this. Good luck.
Thanks for your reply, I guess in this time and age everyone is struggling and needs some help.
The issue here cannot be dealt with anyone else other than the parties involved: my mother, myself and all who have wronged me. In my opinion, sitting with someone and talking about it and maybe ending up with some meds, will not help me at all, because who wronged me will stay doing what they do: hurting me, and talking to them will not help, it is better talking to a brick wall, at least the wall will not do the opposite of what you ask! This relates to the situation, as explained in my post, I did find an unorthodox method in dealing with it, I am happy with it, I am feel well mentally and physically, I do good exercise in the morning and sometimes at the evening as well, it can reach more than 4 hours a day. My spirits is up! The members who wronged me, do not understand what is coming and don't know what I am doing or what I am preparing, they said that I am in too deep and need professional help, this was not said to me but to themselves, I managed to overhear them. I have others who know exactly what I am doing and they said I am on the right track. But I always like to get more feedback, so basically, if someone has the ability and encouragement to do exercise about 4 hours daily and the person's spirits is up!, would that person in urgent need of mental help?
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Default Aug 02, 2019 at 12:01 PM
  #4
Hey! Firstly, well done for pulling yourself out of the rut and being consistent with your exercise.. It definitely helps. From an outsider's view, I wouldn't say you're in need of urgent medical help, but it can never hurt to talk to a professional. Just make it clear that you don't want medication.
From my own experience, I wish I'd seen a psychologist sooner. I also had complicated family problems and it was impossible to talk to anyone in my family about it, no matter how hard I tried. I bottled it up for years and it wasn't until I actually sorted out my life, moved abroad, got my own apartment and was feeling happy and healthy that I actually had a mental breakdown. You never know when these things might catch up with you. So my advice would be to do something sooner rather than later.
But in the end, you know yourself better than anyone else. Good luck and if you'd like to talk further, drop me a message!
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Default Aug 03, 2019 at 02:38 AM
  #5
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Originally Posted by Elsewhere View Post
Hey! Firstly, well done for pulling yourself out of the rut and being consistent with your exercise.. It definitely helps. From an outsider's view, I wouldn't say you're in need of urgent medical help, but it can never hurt to talk to a professional. Just make it clear that you don't want medication.
From my own experience, I wish I'd seen a psychologist sooner. I also had complicated family problems and it was impossible to talk to anyone in my family about it, no matter how hard I tried. I bottled it up for years and it wasn't until I actually sorted out my life, moved abroad, got my own apartment and was feeling happy and healthy that I actually had a mental breakdown. You never know when these things might catch up with you. So my advice would be to do something sooner rather than later.
But in the end, you know yourself better than anyone else. Good luck and if you'd like to talk further, drop me a message!
I appreciate your answer. I agree with you that everyone may need help in a point in time in their life, life is complicated and hard now. I think the issue is that someone is not able to resolve the problem the person is facing, this is when they will face hard mental situation, as there is no way out of the problem. I am not an expert but I can think a bit!, for my problem as I stated in my previous post, that it can not be solved by talking, the people who wronged me need to answer for what the done, it is that simple (it is not revenge but fighting for my rights), talking to anyone about it or to them, will not change anything, they will still do what the did over and over again, this is human nature, it can not be changed. Now, why do we have penalties or fines for breaking the driving rules, for example, it could be that a letter of warning could be sent and then the driver will not do it again, but that would not work, therefore, a fine is sent for the driver who broke the road rule and pays for it, and guess, what? the driver will still pay other fines for the same reason!
Thanks again for taking the time to answer. I appreciate it.
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Default Aug 05, 2019 at 08:42 AM
  #6
it seems liek you've been through A LOT, @davidanswers! I AM DEEPLY SORRY TO HEAR THAT! PLEASE NEVER GIVE UP HOPE! I wouldn't say you need URGENT help since from what you wrote it seems like you're handling ALL of this pretty well, but I'd say that getting professional help CERTAINLY doesn't hurt. Unfortunately we can't "force" other people who have done us wrong to pay their debts. Unfortunately that doesn't always happen. You CAN wort through your experience though and gain a better awareness and understanding of what happened so please DO oncsider it if you can. I'm REALLY HAPPY that you're taking ALL of the necessary steps to take care of yourself! That's the way to go! Please be kind to yourself and allow yourself to make mistakes from time to time. It's not the end of the World when that happens. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @davidanswers, and ALL of your Loved Ones! PLEASE KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY WONDERFULLY DOING! YOU ARE AWESOME, YOU ARE IMPORTANT, YOU MATTER AND YOU'RE WORTH IT! THAT'S A PROMISE! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN! PLEASE KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY WONDERFULLY DOING!
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davidanswers
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Default Aug 06, 2019 at 02:35 AM
  #7
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Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky View Post
it seems liek you've been through A LOT, @davidanswers! I AM DEEPLY SORRY TO HEAR THAT! PLEASE NEVER GIVE UP HOPE! I wouldn't say you need URGENT help since from what you wrote it seems like you're handling ALL of this pretty well, but I'd say that getting professional help CERTAINLY doesn't hurt. Unfortunately we can't "force" other people who have done us wrong to pay their debts. Unfortunately that doesn't always happen. You CAN wort through your experience though and gain a better awareness and understanding of what happened so please DO oncsider it if you can. I'm REALLY HAPPY that you're taking ALL of the necessary steps to take care of yourself! That's the way to go! Please be kind to yourself and allow yourself to make mistakes from time to time. It's not the end of the World when that happens. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @davidanswers, and ALL of your Loved Ones! PLEASE KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY WONDERFULLY DOING! YOU ARE AWESOME, YOU ARE IMPORTANT, YOU MATTER AND YOU'RE WORTH IT! THAT'S A PROMISE! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN! PLEASE KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY WONDERFULLY DOING!
Hi, thank you for your positive response. I am doing very good. I think people may need help when they are faced with a problem and there is no solution to it, that can be hard for a person to accept, example when a loved one passes, this can be healed with time as it is the nature of life, but when is hurt by other person (maybe an attack) and can not be found or charged, then the affected person will be hurt and as there is no action to take against the person who did that walks free. This is my analysis only, I am not sure if this is the case or not. But for my situation, I managed to find a way to amend certain aspects but not all, there are things that can not be fixed but I will be happy with what I achieved, after I finish with this, I may consider talking to a professional, just for rest of mind.
Again, thanks for you positive response.
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Default Jan 13, 2020 at 07:35 PM
  #8
@davidanswers, I would like to wish you all the very best and success in everything that you do. Please do not give up and you will get there in the end. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. You are such a courageous person and you are going in the right direction. There are so many amazing people on this forum , and they will always give you their love and support. Sending you lots of love and hugs.
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