Stuck in my childhood

Hello,
It’s my first attempt to find support though like-minded forums and I’m hopeful it’s gonna help me in a way. I can’t handle my emotional state alone anymore and it’s been slowly deteriorating.

I have a bunch of minor issues, which include sensitivity, low self esteem, and feeling of constant loneliness. Yet, this summer made me realize that I am stuck in being 8 year old girl. (For the record, I’m on my late 20s, have a job I enjoy, totally able to support myself financially and in general can take care of my “adult” life). However, I feel like my psychological age stuck in being 8 years old girl. I tend to behave like a naughty child, expecting others (specifically men) to take a full care of me and just cherish me.

My daddy-issues contribute to the great extent to it of course. For the last 3 months i ruined relationships with 2 men who were absolutely kind to me.. It was a huge loss to me and I’m afraid that more and more people I love will turn their back to me.

At this point, I’m so frustrated with myself that I do not believe I will ever be able to be in a healthy relationship or have a family. I don’t want to have children and one of the reasons for that is that I expect men in my life to rest ME like a child.

I would really appreciate a professional advice or if you got the same story, it would help a lot to hear about your experience and the ways you cope with it

Hello LenaWilkinson: I'm sorry we are not able to offer professional advice here on PC. And my story is not the same as yours. So I can't be of any particular help with regard to what you are experiencing. However I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.

Since you mentioned your relationships with men one forum in particular, here on PC, that may be of interest would be the relationships forum. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/relat...communication/

You also mentioned "daddy issues" in your post. So here are links to a series of 5 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on that subject:

Daddy Issues: How Daughters of Narcissistic Fathers Can Cope (Part 1)

Daddy Issues: How Daughters of Narcissistic Fathers Can Cope (Part 2)

Why Daughters of Narcissists Are Drawn to Narcissistic Men (Daddy Issues, Part 3)

How Daughters of Narcissistic Fathers Become People-Pleasers (Daddy Issues, Part 4)

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/recov...issues-part-5/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

Hi LenaWilkinson,
sorry to hear you are going through a tough time but it also seems like you are also having an epiphany of your self and life.

As Skeezyks mentioned, not professional advice or opinion from me either , and have my own little things that may or may not relate to you.

Professional help can be found in many ways.

I remember in one of my therapy group sessions for DBT that was focused on PTSD, we talked about the different type of selves that a person that has survived trauma as a child can encounter/develop for coping in a maladaptive way some times. -- many different selves were described - the reckless self, the child self, adult self and so on (They had better definitions than that apologies) ...

I wish I could find a link, or even know the work book we took the page from....

We talked about coping and grounding skills, and trying to find ways to balance when we are another self, and calming and soothing that part of our selves in a more helpful way for life.
We also talked about being more independent and not relying so much on others (I excel in my work and job duties, but life outside of work can have it own bumps).

I may be horrible at explaining this at this moment, as I have been quite forgetful lately; but I do recall that little with the session and am sharing in hopes that it helps you not to feel so alone and encouraging to get assistance.

I do know that with the classes and the one on one sessions, it helped greatly with many aspects for myself; and thought I would toss that out there. It always takes so much for me to go back to therapy ((I am not constant like some))... but I will say, most of the time, it helps... and with every therapist, I have taken something away

It may not be helpful at all, and if so- apologies and I wish you the best.

"A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market." Charles Lamb
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=da7StUzVh3s

I can relate to having a Narcissistic father
(sorry this message doesn't say more)

If you can take care of yourself in the outside world, well , that’s more than half the battle. Now you need to take a good look at your inside world. It’s natural that most woman want the “ protection and security “ a man can provide. In a psychological way. It appears like something happened around when you were 8 years old that has kept you mentally stuck. It has to be resolved or come to closure in some way otherwise you will never be able to have a fulfilling relationship that can last. Sounds like therapy would be a good place to start.
At least you seem to be able to define the problem and know where to start.
Get professional help. I know what it feels like to remain childish in a grown up world. Best of luck to you...