I was robbed at gunpoint last night

I'm not suicidal/in crisis right now, but things are really black and I don't see the light.

I had a horrible year for school and work. I was in a deep depressive phase after going through a breakup and moving. My income this year was half what it was last year, because I kept calling out sick. I failed 3 of the 5 classes I took this semester. I haven't saved any money, I've been living with my mom, I'm barely scraping by.

My mom gets married this month, and then she's moving. Living with her will no longer be an option, so my sister and I were planning to get an apartment. I didn't have any money saved up, but since I failed school this semester, I'm dropping out next semester to save money. So I decided to sell the expensive, $1500 laptop I had bought for school to put a deposit down on the apartment.

I met with someone to sell it. It was a public place, but that didn't matter. I was stupid, I should have met with him at a police station, but I didn't know that was an option till later. He was a clean-cut, friendly guy. No red flags. He checked out the laptop, I showed him it works. He said he was an artist and was excited to use the touch screen for graphic design. He asked to see the charger. I handed it to him to inspect.

Next thing, he pulls a gun out of his pocket, points it at my chest and laughs. I slowly registered that he wasn't wearing a mask, and I was certain he was going to kill me. But he just says "Get in your car, drive away, or I'll shoot you." And like a robot, I did.

I completely froze. I didn't react at all. I saw the gun as it came out of his pocket, saw him cock it back, saw him raise it. There was a good 30 seconds to react, but I did nothing. I just froze and stared at it. And he ran off laughing with the last thing of value that I own. I would have thought I'd react better. I conceal carry, I could have gone for my own gun. But I didn't. I could have done something to protect myself. But I didn't.

The cops made sure I knew how stupid it was to meet a stranger. I told them I knew it was risky, but I was so desperate to sell that computer. They took down the info but made it clear there's probably not much they can do. I'm just completely numb. I have about $20 to my name, and I'm going to be forced to ask to borrow from my family or be homeless. I know I'm lucky to be alive, people have been killed for less. But I don't feel lucky. I feel helpless and stupid. I feel like the universe is giving me the finger and I don't know what to do now.

Oh my God.

Please, please: go easy on yourself. You have just been the victim of a shattering crime. How were you to sell the laptop if you didn't meet the guy? You did well by meeting in a public place; you did not do anything wrong! I don't care what the cops said...you were not at fault for anything that happened. There's no "blame the victim" crap allowed, you know?

Same thing with freezing. The person pulled a gun and pointed it at you. Who wouldn't freeze?!!!

I absolutely know how it feels to be told by the universe to eff off - at least, to believe that's what the universe is telling you. But, no...just plain no. You've just been through a devastating experience, on top of immense life stress.

You are almost surely in shock at this time. You feel like all is lost - but it isn't. Breathe.

It sounds like you're pretty close to your family?

The take-home point is this: you could very easily have died tonight. You did not. Please listen to Beth and stop victim-blaming. It isn't healthy. The most likely use of an in-home firearm in the United States is...that's right, against the homeowner. Had you gone for your firearm, I believe you would now be dead or in the SICU fighting for your life.

So, you handled this terrifying situation exactly as you should have Excellent job.

Now, the question is, where do you go from here about housing? Do you have family that can help you for a bit, just until you are on firmer footing? What sort of income are you now looking at for the foreseeable future? What do you need to make a go of it in Albuquerque?

Sending you positive vibes. So grateful this turned out okay. Laptops can be replaced. You can't. Good job.

You did nothing wrong. You've reacted the best that you possibly could under that particular set of circumstances. Who wouldn't be scared to death by seeing a gun pointed at you?! Please don't blame yourself. Keep repeating yourself that until you believe it. It Is the Truth. No matter what other people say! If you can, borrow some money from your family. Hopefully you'll be able to work something out. I am sure you will. I am REALLY glad you're safe and sound. Keep telling yourself that you did the best you possibly could. Breathe. Do something to distract yourself. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @brimaiski, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

Glad that you were not shot. You could have been. The best thing you can do now is move forward from that experience and not let it define your character, circumstances, or choices in life.

Move in with your sister if you can still do that. Ask your mom to help you with your half of the deposit on an apartment and tell her that once you start working you will do a payment plan to repay your mom the money she lends you.

Go join some temporary agencies in your city. You can get clerical work; data entry, call center customer service, receptionist, administrative assistant work assignments that pay better than a retail job.

Try to reframe your thinking to problem-solving instead of analysis-paralysis. Does that make sense?

Focus on the steps you can take to make money esp. since you'll take a semester off. Did you speak to your professors about taking incompletes for the 2 courses or did you already fail them?

The semester isn't over yet as colleges that operate on a semester system don't end until the end of December. So, you still have time to negotiate with your professors about your final grade.

You have two options: you can ask them for an "I" or incomplete -- this extends the deadline for your missing assignments so that you can use all of January, let's say, to finish your assignments for those 2 college courses.

The other option you can try is to "withdraw" from your 2 courses that you say you are failing out of right now. But you'd have to go speak to your college's academic dean about your situation.

In fact, I would go to your academic dean this week. Tell your college academic dean what happened with your fall semester and why you are failing the 2 courses and as him/her what your options are, so that you can stay enrolled in your program and not lose your financial aid, or go on academic probation.

Because, if you don't try to salvage those two fall courses, and you accept "F's" for grades, you will most likely go on academic suspension.

So, problem-solve. You can try to do the following:

ACADEMIC PROBATION OR SUSPENSION
1. Go to your academic dean. Talk about your fall semester. That's what academic deans roles are for: to help students who are struggling academically due to outside life circumstances.
a. If you decide to apply to "withdraw" you have to write a statement why.
b. If you decide to do the incomplete, decide how long you'll need to finish both courses' assignments and stay in contact with your two college professors and the academic dean for support.
c. Take the spring semester off OR take 1 course.

INCOMPLETE - FINISH COURSES
2. Go talk to your 2 professors about a plan to finish your coursework as an "I" or Incomplete.

COUNSELING THAT'S FREE
3. Go to your college campus counseling center and make an appointment to talk with a counselor about being robbed at gunpoint so that you can process that experience with a licensed professional.

HOUSING AND WORKING
4. Talk to your mom and step-father about your robbery experience. Tell them you want to move in with your sister and if that's not an option, then you can contact your college's residential housing office and find out if there are any dorm rooms available for winter onward.
a. Go to your financial aid office, if you have financial aid as a college student. See if you can apply your financial aid for an available dorm room.
b. Ask your mom and step-dad for help with your half of a deposit on an apartment with your sister and set up a repayment plan for when you start working.
c. You can apply for work-study jobs as a student on your college campus.
d. You can also join temp agencies and do part-time or full-time temp jobs.
e. You can also apply for retail jobs.

So, you have a LOT of options here. Try those out and see what happens. Stay positive and good luck.

Wow Brimaiski....that sounds horrible! I know you may not feel like it, but that's not the last thing of value. You are alive and physically unhurt. That is a great, great blessing. I've seen many life changed FOREVER, within minutes - stroke, accidents. Your situation is temporary. StreetCarBlanche has some excellent suggestions. Work all your options. Don't give up. Pls do reach out whenever you need.

A young woman was stabbed to death on the college campus I attended and lived at just this week while being mugged. Looks like it was teenagers, including one 13 year-old. I am so very grateful that you are physically unharmed.

Brimaiski, I'm going to echo what others said. Thank gawd you were not hurt (physically). Please stop beating yourself up for how you reacted. You did what you needed to do to stay safe.
You might still be in shock over what happened. When you feel ready start making plans. Others gave you great ideas where/how to look for help. I would add asking if your local police department has a victim services department. They might be able to offer ideas. Also, check to see if your mother's home owners insurance will cover the theft.
Gentle hugs to you hon. What a horrible experience!

This was not your fault you couldn't have possibly known this would happen. Have you thought about sketching this guy it out and posting flyer? Call the news and let them know about the crime?

Oh my...please do not beat yourself up. It is truly not your fault. You couldn't have known that was going to happen and you did well by meeting publicly. Yes I have been there where I've felt the universe was wielding a giant middle finger at me too. It sounds you've got a lot going on for you and this was a shock, which you very well may still be in shock. And yes I would freeze too! And while it may also be natural to beat oneself up in circumstances like this as well, please know that what you're saying to yourself isn't true. Those critical judgments about yourself going through your mind are just false. Sending you lots of caring thoughts.

Its not so horrible to borrow from your family. They will be more than glad that you are OK. You're young, they can remember when they were making their way. Let them help you. Blanche gave a wonderful list of action items. Your fairy godmother! Call your family first. We're all trying to push forward step by step, held up by our big safe circle here on the forum. All will be well.

Keep tabs here for a few days maybe. There are people here who have seen some tough times themselves. If nothing else they can be your sounding board and support while you spend some time reflecting and wondering what to do next. You ok at the moment?

Thats so terrifying... I am so sorry that happened.

Really horrible, hope you're ok.

If you see this thread, please check in and let us know how you're doing.