overwhelmed by worldsuck

Some heavy thoughts here, just a warning.

I'm far from the only person feeling so overwhelmed by the global chaos surrounding us. I read an NPR article this morning that says 3 out of 5 people report feeling lonely. I'm certainly in that majority, and it feels like no matter what I do I just can't form the community connections I need. Faith communities, Meetups, political involvement, public events, social media, and online dating, and nothing at all has come of it.

My evening work shift adds to the isolation because there's a lot I'm left out of, and applications for other jobs within my employer and outside it have not been fruitful. Most of the time I've never even gotten a reply. I'm trapped in a meaningless and low-paying job, and that, like loneliness, is also an epidemic, especially here in the US.

I've been involved in a grassroots political campaign and for awhile that was giving me hope, but that hope is fading, and I haven't been able to form any friendships with the other people. Just like in any other social setting, people already have their own social network and show no interest in expanding it.

If there are so many lonely people in the world, especially here in the US, why do connections get more rather than less difficult to make with each other?

Part of it is the vicious rancor that surrounds us, especially given the current sociopolitical environment. The US does not have the monopoly on that. Hope is so hard to maintain when so few people can agree on the most fundamental interpretation of reality. People have carried their internet trolling into public discourse. They're so concerned with venting their own emotions that they justify the most bitter vitriol, which only forces others into farther and farther extremes. So few people feel they have any place to belong, unless they side with fringe camps or even extremist groups. God help me, but I understand why people join these cells, or join cults. People need something to believe in, something to work and even fight for, a leader who seems to know what they're doing and why, to follow someone who seems to have a vision and the know-how to make that vision a reality. People need heroes who represent our aspirations, a sense of belonging, and a community of support and acceptance.

What we're living through right now is what leads to civil or global war. Genocide is already taking place. People are in concentration camps. Others fleeing war and poverty are shut away from safe havens and caught up by human traffickers. Nations are developing deadlier weaponry than we have seen before. How can anyone feel anything but powerless against all this? We can speak out for our values, but it's one voice among 8 billion. The ones in power who make the decisions are shielded from the consequences, while the most vulnerable in society experience the worst effects. And the vulnerable are voiceless.

Some people take the route of violence as a means to reclaim power, and we've certainly seen that on the rise. But the targets are others who are equally if not more powerless, and violence only begets further violence. We see that all the time, too. That in turn fuels more hopelessness and powerlessness, and a desire to retreat into a protective hole. When that happens, the powerful claim even more power, and we lose what little we had. We're living in a dystopia, and it can and probably will get much worse before it gets better.

Through political involvement and giving to food and clothing drives and doing park cleanups I try to help alleviate some of the effects of poverty and hunger and discrimination and environmental deterioration, and so many other forms of worldsuck, but it's like an ant fighting a well-organized army of ten thousand hydras.

The powerful refuse to listen to the powerless, only concerned with the consolidation of even more power and wealth into fewer and fewer hands. Spend any amount of time researching the collapse of civilizations, and you'll check off box after box. I just don't see how humanity can pull itself out of this nightmare if we can't even come to a consensus about the most objective, documented facts. Mistrust of any expertise and institution is the highest in my lifetime, and not without just cause.

Just when we're the most in need of hope and the promise of a better future is when we're the most vulnerable to false messiahs promising us our dreams, and instead giving us nightmares beyond imagining.

I'm so sorry you are being overwhelmed, Serpentine Leaf.

Sometimes the things going on around me overwhelm me too.

-- Yaowen

I could not agree more with your assessment, sadly. I do think some of the Scandinavian countries may seem to have this all figured out a bit better, but I am surely no expert.

The United States is not the land of opportunity. That ended long, long ago. It is the land of the 0.1%.

You got that right, my friend.

Count me among the miserably lonely. I raised a family - and never dreamed I'd be sitting alone on holidays while they do whatever else. Been married for over 30 years, but my husband and I don't live together. We're best friends in some way, but that's hardly the same as actually living together.

I've had some moderate social connections in the past few years that didn't come to anything, when all was said and done.

I'm 57, and easily recall when the US was an honorable and enviable place to live. No more.

Anyway. At the risk of sounding cliche...I truly feel your post.

I am so sorry you are lonely, Beth. I am, too. I reached out to a "friend" to tell him my phone was hacked and not to open anything from me and he texted back and asked me to dinner, which was quite sweet. I haven't been out to eat in a year. With this upcoming dinner, I will have seen a total of 2 friends in the past 12 months. Enough about me!!!!!

My point is not about me. My point is about us!! So many of us forced to live this way, abandoned and excommunicated for the crime of getting sick. It's shameful. Shameful. What if we did that to all the cardiac patients who smoked too much and didn't exercise? Or the diabetics who really struggle with weight issues? People would rightly be outraged.

Some day, smart people will look back on all this and be ashamed of what we did to all of us. Really wish we all could be there for that.

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Originally Posted by bpcyclist I am so sorry you are lonely, Beth. I am, too. I reached out to a "friend" to tell him my phone was hacked and not to open anything from me and he texted back and asked me to dinner, which was quite sweet. I haven't been out to eat in a year. With this upcoming dinner, I will have seen a total of 2 friends in the past 12 months. Enough about me!!!!! It's too bad that some of us can't meet in real life. We'd be among peers. My point is not about me. My point is about us!! So many of us forced to live this way, abandoned and excommunicated for the crime of getting sick. It's shameful. Shameful. What if we did that to all the cardiac patients who smoked too much and didn't exercise? Or the diabetics who really struggle with weight issues? People would rightly be outraged. "Excommunicated" - an apt word, to be sure. Nobody's bringing us casseroles with loving advice to take good care of ourselves. It adds to the feeling of being an oddball, and of course, to isolating. Some day, smart people will look back on all this and be ashamed of what we did to all of us. Really wish we all could be there for that. Won't they, though! Yes, I wish we could be around for that revelation. I've encountered many (most?) doctors who behave as though those of us with mental illness make a choice to be this way. It's appalling.

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Don't worry about sounding cliche, dear BethRags. Feeling this way actually puts us in the majority, and that's exactly what makes it so terrible. It hurts even more when the people you've given your love to, given part of your soul to, treat it with such casual disregard. People treating you with outright hatred is easier to manage than indifference.

The stigma of mental illness in Western culture is appalling. Anyone would be so considered soulless if they told a cancer patient to just "get over it." No one tells a person with a broken leg to "just shake it off, it's all in your leg." Yet we get told that something is all in our head. It isn't like this in all cultures. In some, especially those considered by arrogant Westerners as "primitive," it's considered a normal variant. those who hear voices from an early age or experience great physical and mental hardship from an early age are considered shamans, and are valued members of a community. They aren't treated as if they're sick, and they're taught to accept the voices as guides, or their suffering as a connection to something greater than common experience.

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Originally Posted by bpcyclist I could not agree more with your assessment, sadly. I do think some of the Scandinavian countries may seem to have this all figured out a bit better, but I am surely no expert. The United States is not the land of opportunity. That ended long, long ago. It is the land of the 0.1%.

My son is a world traveler (seriously) and has lived in several European cities. He has traveled to the Scandinavian countries and found them remarkably well-managed, with an excellent health care system. But then, all 1st-world countries have superior health care to us.

I visited my son in Paris a few years ago and lost my glasses while there. I'm very dependent on my glasses (and contact lenses) and was shaking at the thought of what replacing glasses in a foreign country would cost. Well, I walked into an optometrists office...received a free thorough eye exam and purchased glasses at such a low cost that I was dazed.

I told the optometrist that I am an American citizen - he was "Parisian cranky" - but assured me that there was no problem with the free exam.

Our health care system is an embarrassment.

There are a number of optometry joints in this town where that exam and those glasses could easily have cost you $1000. Optomtery can be extremely lucrative.

Well written OP and well said!

Let’s all unplug the electronics and plug in to real life again!

OP you really nailed it , although I wish this wasn’t a real problem.

I have reconnected with lots of old friends on Facebook , we are scattered all over the country, if we lived closer I know we would go out/ hang out here and there.

But as it is my husband and I have each other, semi friendships with a few couples, but they are still busy raising kids and there careers. While we are both on disability.

Earlier I chatting with someone on here I mentioned when I die I’d have 9 ... maybeeee 12 people at most that would come to some kind of service , 4 of that number is my husbands boys and my daughter, I have one brother, 2 aunts that “ might “ physically might make the trip , but they are very old now.

That number is really depressing to consider.

There’s a TV show I love ... New Amsterdam ... anyway one of the key things about the show is a question

“ How can I help ?! “ I wish more people asked each other that and ideas could be thought of to bring people closer.

I understand how you are feeling too. I am living in one of those countries that is experiencing serious social turmoil at the moment. People are unhappy with the inequality in society. That is understandable. Unfortunately, it has devolved into protests that quickly turn violent, looting, clashes between riot police and protestors and metro stations and buses being burned.

Things calm down for short periods, but then fall apart again. Last night got really violent. The economy is a disaster. Like many people here, I found myself out of work soon after this started. Businesses are closing down left and right. I never thought I’d be living through something like this.

In order to be able to buy a house, my husband and I moved out of the capital. While I am happy to be out of the worst of the problems, it is isolating. I haven’t made new friends here and it’s been tough to meet up with friends in the city between the disturbances disrupting transit and people just generally being busy. On top of that, not working also contributes to the feeling of isolation. I have done a few freelance assignments, but I only deal with one of the owners via e-mail.

I do often wonder where the world is headed . . . and am not optimistic.

I often feel this way too. In some ways, my country isn't as ****ed as others, but it's heading in that direction.


I know that most of my practical problems and mental health problems can be atttributed to the disparity between rich and poor, corrupt government and corporations, rampant consumerism and greed, and the continuing destruction of our environment. I keep thinking about how many friends and family would be freed if they didn't have to choose between work and starvation/homelessness. They would be able to socialize (thus reducing loneliness), engage in hobbies and have an overall improved quality of life. But instead, my country's govt punishes the poor and rewards the wealthy.

Unfortunately the world does suck , in many ways. But as much negativity that exists we have to somehow get whatever positivity that exists out of it. What I still cannot understand is how could so many lonely people exist and not find each other ? Especially in this age of instant communication ? I think you have to start with yourself. Do the best you can to first , find your own happiness.
Screw the world. Do everything possible to make your own life more meaningful. Regardless of what is going on around you. If we don’t learn how to adapt ,
we won’t survive.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist There are a number of optometry joints in this town where that exam and those glasses could easily have cost you $1000. Optomtery can be extremely lucrative.

I paid $700 for my glasses last year and they were put together so shoddy I had to take them back and have all the screws replaced.

Well ok is it me? I see tons of posts like this and I agree with you and feel the same. But why don't we have a forum on here where people who want to form connections in the real world can do that. I feel like there is a conspiracy on this. 10 years ago I met people all the time who wanted to meet up in the real world and now, if you find a message board, they don't have anything like that. Why? Is there some sort of a liability in case someone does meet up and get murdered? I don't think Meetup works because it tends to attract a certain type that is a bit flakey.

On your other points about the world.. I just feel like every single generation feels that their time sucks and also feels like if they do something it will suck less... but, those things are imho just a mirage. The world is honestly on a slow but positive trajectory forward. And generations of people have been told that the end of the word is right around the corner but, it hasn't come yet.

I dabble in history and I have to say every time i look into history I feel bad for the young people who thought some no nothing war in 1311 was important enough to give their life, but they did, and who knows what someone said to make them feel that way. And every generation had their thing that they didn't feel they could come back from. In this country or any other. Civil war, WWI, WWII, how could anyone born in the 50s predict how the cold war would end? I mean, who saw that coming?

Think about how the world was just 100 years ago. Disease was rampant, no indoor plumbing or heating. No cars, no planes. People died from disease early and without warning.

I can't help but feel for you and many others who do probably listen to the news and do probably feel utter despair. But it is a mirage. Mostly an act, to sell papers or sell something else. I do feel this is so much worse today because of the internet. Global stories travel in an instant and can be hyped to insane degrees. If you are feeling hopeless... stop, put the net down and go outside... you probably will see someone do something nice like give up a seat on public transportation. You will see how beautiful the world actually currently is despite the claims otherwise.

Thank you for your post. I had nothing but bad experiences with Meetups; the connections were so shallow and most of the time people showed up with people they were already friends with and were only looking for a superficial way to pass the time. I'm well aware that you have to go through the superficial small talk stuff to be able to make those deeper connections, but what are you supposed to do when no one else is interested in any meaningful connection with a new person? It would be good if forums like this could lead to some irl connections, but I'm sure the site is worried about liability issues. Meetup.com seems to be geared for social-butterfly type extroverts who favor quantity over quality of relationships. And yes, while I hate to generalize about people, they do often seem pretty flaky.


Material prosperity is better now than at any other time in history for some parts of the world, though of course not all. But despite material and medical advances, people are physically, psychologically, and spiritually sick. And our material prosperity has come at a heavy environmental cost. It's going to take many generations to repair the damage. We have the means, but though the majority of the world's citizens have the will, few leaders do. They're too beholden to the power and wealth of those who benefit form the status quo. And it isn't only environmental problems that are ignored for this reason.

In 1920 there was coal heating and a few cars on the roads. There was some indoor plumbing. And there are a lot of parallels between that time and our own. Old ideas had broken down with nothing yet to replace them. WW1 had shattered the idealistic illusions of the Enlightenment that had shaped the cultural outlook of people for several centuries. People often speak of the Roaring Twenties as if it were a time of great happiness and general prosperity. But it was a thin veneer, and of course not everyone shared in that prosperity. It was a time of very high income inequality; those who were economically comfortable put themselves into debt to live a lavish lifestyle; extreme cultural conservatism and racism dominated politics. Terrorist hate groups committed acts of individual and mass violence. In Europe it was even worse; almost any history book refers to this time as "The Turbulent Interwar Years" or something similar. Currently, our old ideas are falling apart and everyone constantly feels as if we're standing on quicksand. War is brewing. We overreact to small things and underreact to big things. Democracy and so many other institutions are under attack. We live in a culture of narcissism, shallow materialism, and alienation.

Changes in methods of communication certainly do add to these tensions until we can figure out how to handle them. The increase in books and pamphlets and newsletters after the spread of the Gutenburg press was a factor in the Reformation, which in turn led to centuries of war in Europe. We now get flooded with so much information, much of it geared to make us feel outrage, fear, or despair, that these feelings are almost inevitable. And that's the point, especially with intentional misinformation. Some of it is selling more papers or air time, some for click bait, but some of it is for more sinister purposes. I try to avoid political talk here but I'm sure you know what I mean.

I don't feel that the world is hopeless or that there's no good at all in humanity. I wouldn't bother being on here or getting involved in the things I care about if I had no hope. There are times I have to step away from the news cycle. I have seen people perform selfless acts of kindness for someone they don't know and in some cases will never even meet. I've seen others join together to stand up against violence, hatred, and inequality, and felt the power and unity of these events. I've taken part in those things and that adds to my hope. There is so much good in humanity, but so much that is not good. Much of the time it feels like people are nurturing the wrong seeds in their hearts. I'm guilty of that too.

You're certainly right that there is beauty and kindness in the world. But it will only last so long as we maintain it. And too many people have the mentality of "screw everybody else; it's everyone for themselves." That's the seed of worldsuck.

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Originally Posted by Serpentine Leaf But it will only last so long as we maintain it. And too many people have the mentality of "screw everybody else; it's everyone for themselves." That's the seed of worldsuck.

But that is cyclical. If you look at how the generations go, the generations always like to go the opposite way from the last generation. So imho (and even right now) we are a flux state. The baby boomers rule and the younger generations have to deal with them. But as they die off things will change. Sometimes we need world suck so we can see how not to do it.

From looking at history I feel like history pinwheels (that is the word I like to use best). You have moments of brilliance that pushes the world forward and then, the world slides back. Typically for a generation. For example, Henry VII was far ahead of his time and pushed england forward but, his son pushed it backward. It was time of great turbulence and anyone who lived under Henry VII or Bloody Mary probably thought there was no hope for man. But then, Elizabeth I took control and had years of prosperity.

I feel like the 40s, 50, and 60s were pinwheels forward and now we are pinwheeling back.

What I feel happens is that when we pinwheel forward it provides evidence that we can be there (but maybe that generation isn't ready for it) and then the next generation is born knowing it exists and says, why aren't we doing that? They then push hard for that life and make it happen.

From my point of view I am really going to have to argue the environmental view. I just don't see it other than on TV. I was alive in the 70s and man, everything was a toxic dump. You seriously have no idea how much better it is than that time. And frankly, the world just went on an on without much of a blip. I don't know if you have ever read the book "A civil action" or seen the movie but basically this corporation just poisoned people and made an entire area a toxic waste dump. But now... that is cleaned up and there so many many more safeguards.

As for people, yes there is a problem. Not sure how we fix that one in the short term.