Coping with stress after car accident

Last night, I was involved in a hit and run accident. A young male hit my car and fled. Today, I'm having a difficult time dealing with the fallout stress of this (I'm 57). I am already recovering from 2.5 years of PTSD from stress at work and a horrible relationship, so this is making things much worse. I don't have anybody to talk to about all this, so i hope somebody can give me some support or ideas on how to move past it.

I was driving in the lane of traffic and the guy who hit me was driving in the parking lane. At some point, he decided that he wanted to be in front of me, and barged his way into the lane of traffic in front of me, swiping across the front passenger side of my car. He didn’t stop! He kept driving! I couldn’t believe that he hit me and didn’t stop, to see if I was ok or anything. I followed him, trying to at least get a photo of his license plate, since it didn’t look like he was going to stop. As I was trying to take the photos, he slammed on the brakes and I ran into him. That’s when he stopped and turned on his flashers.

I got out of the car and approached his driver’s side window, and he didn’t open the window or talk to me. He sat in his car, txting on his phone and talking with a woman in the passenger seat (I’m now guessing he was either calling his insurance company or the police too). That’s when I called 911 to report the accident. I told the police what had happened, and that the guy wouldn’t talk to me or give me any of his information.

While I was on the call to 911, the guy got out of his car and said numerous times “I need to see your insurance and drivers license” and “I am not going to argue with you”. He took a photo of my license plate. Also he insulted me, “You are so ignorant. You hit me. You are a stupid old lady. I have a witness.” Of course, I stood up for myself and said “no that’s not true. You hit me first and fled”. I remember he also said that he thought, that I thought, he was trying to cut me off, but that he was just merging. (He was not merging—he intentionally cut me off.)

In response to his requests for my info, I said, “ok I need to see yours too”. He replied, “share yours first”. He was totally refusing to share his info with me. It all felt so violating, and like a setup. I said, “Lets both put our information down on the hood of my car and we can each take photos at the same time”. This was the only way I could think of to be fair with someone that didn’t want to play fair. We both put our info on the car hood, he took a photo of my info—and before I could get a photo of his, he snapped up his cards and fled again.

That’s when I called 911 again, told the police what had happened, and I pulled over to the side of the street. I waited there for police to show up. When the police came, we stood on the sidewalk and I explained what had happened, and we looked at the damage to my car. Its actually minimal—long scrapes across the front side panel, and the panel is knocked in. There wasn’t any damage to the front of my car, since I didn’t hit his car very hard. (When I was trying to get the info for the make/model of his car, I didn’t see any damage to the back of his car. He had removed the lettering of the car model on the trunk and replaced it with "RYOT" and alien face stickers). I showed the officer the photos that I did take of his license plate, but they both are so blurry that you can’t make out the numbers. The officers then went ahead and filed a police report and gave me a card with all the info. One of the officers was trying to calm me down, saying I should sit and relax in my car for a while before proceeding on my way. He also said that, in the future, I should not pursue someone in a hit and run. He could’ve had a gun. (That’s not easy to do in the moment, when you have been severely violated and insulted.)

Lolanne, I am so sorry that happened to you. I would be feeling exactly as you are if it happened to me. In my view, you were quite brave. Very brave. As horrible as the experience has shaken you up, I want you to tell yourself how brave you were!

I won't go into any of my stories, but I had a couple car accidents I was involved in (or my husband and I) that shook me for quite a while, but you'll heal.

Who knows what that young man's situation is/was. He was obviously aggressive and not too bright about his driving. He could have points or even a warrant out for his arrest, or a revoked driver's license. Maybe he was high on drugs? Or unwell with a mental illness. With my mental illness, such behavior is possible. That kind of desperation can create danger. You are lucky that you were not hurt, physically, and that your car wasn't even damaged severely. It's perhaps better that he went away than hurt you further. Try to put the stupid things he said behind you. They clearly came from his own fear or aggression. He likely treats many people as he did you. I wish there weren't people out there that acted as he did, but unfortunately there are. Maybe he's led a pretty sad life, himself, during these years. I'm not saying that excuses his behavior, but I do believe it influences it.

I am so sorry for what happened, @Lolanne! That must have been scary. I am REALLY happy you weren't hurt. I am also happy that there wasn't too much damage. I completely agree with @BirdDancer! Perhaps that police offices is right, too. Still, you've been very brave! I agree with @BirdDancer about not letting his words stay with you too much - he probably knew he was in the wrong and that's why he acted that way. Or perhaps he didn't know, but you know you are in the right. I am so sorry. Don't worry, you'll feel better soon, I am sure. Definitely try to relax. Watch some movies or TV. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Lolanne, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

Thank you so much, BirdDancer and MickeyCheeky! I really appreciate your kind, supportive words. Its just difficult when all the thoughts/memories are stuck racing around in my head, with no one to hear them but me. You've already helped me alot with that. I've always had a saying, "Mean People Suck" and this pretty much sums all that up. I will likely sleep all weekend long, so should be better in a few days. Hugs to you, too!

@Lolanne I am so sorry you had this terrible accident happen to you. I can personally relate for having a similar road accident in the spring of last year. I was lucky to be alive, very shocked and still get triggered so I suggest you avoid watching any drama programs on television lest they stir up memories.

You are very brave, commendably so, but will find it difficult to relax. I cannot stress how important it is that you see a therapist to help you deal with the PTSD, insomnia, distress and anxiety you may be facing at this time. I recommend you talk to your primary care doctor and get their advice, and better still a referral to a therapist who specializes in advising people harmed like you have been.

There is a possibility that your driving insurers can find you a lawyer to get advice on what to do next. Maybe the police could take this up and take out a prosecution on the guy who caused this accident.

I will hold you up in my prayers.

Lol Anne, I'm glad you were not physically injured and damage to your car is minimal.

If you haven't already, call your insurance company and tell them what happened. The guy has your insurance info and may try to pull a fast one. Inform your insurance company even if you are not filing a claim for your car. We had someone try and pull that on us.

While I agree with the officer who said not to CV hase other drivers I sure understand the desire to. Been in a similar situation myself and wanted to chase the idiot down. It's not worth getting hurt over.

(((((Lolanne))))) I am so sorry that happened to you. Yes, ofcourse you need to talk about it and it was a good idea that you came here to PC and did that.

I have had people cut me off as well, today driving means always being on the defensive unfortunately. Actually, the personality of anyone who drives the way you described already means they blame YOU/anyone for being in THEIR way and that's why he drove off after hitting you AND he treated you like you were in the wrong too. Also, you did not have to give him anything, all information is really up to the police to gather once they get to the scene of any accident.

While that was something you never expected to experience and it was scary you did stand up for yourself, so you ARE a fighter. However, the police officer was correct in that this individual could have been armed and even dangerous. No car is worth your getting injured. Yes, do call your insurance company and report it. The insurance company can call the police and insurance companies will take over in discerning who is at fault and who pays for what. A lot depends on the cost of the damage to your vehicle or you or if this guy tries to claim injury etc. That's their problem though, not yours and it's what you pay them for.

Are you ok? Is your neck sore or anything? Even a small hit like that can actually cause a neck injury.

May be good to take something just incase that's anti inflamatory like aspirin or ibuprofin.

You survived hun, you are here and ok and it's up to the insurance company to handle the rest once you call them.

(((Hugs)))
OE

Thank you all so much for your support! I slept most of the weekend to try and get past the stress and anxiety. I feel better now, but still bewildered and on my guard.

Amazingly, there was a theft in my building at work this morning (someone stole a woman's wallet), so another heads-up that crime is all around. I'm a peace-love-hippie kind of person, so this is kinda hard for me....

Life in the big city is unpredictable, as you know. I am glad you are feeling more calm. Just let it go. This guy probably had warrants out for his arrest or or was high or something. There is a very good reason he would not let you identify him and that he left the scene, committing more crimes still.

I agree that talking to a therapist could really hep you here. Sending you strength and support. Very glad you feel better.!!!!

Thanks very much bpcyclist! i've definitely learned from this experience, mostly to be more careful about trusting people. not everybody is a good guy/girl.... :-(