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Default Mar 31, 2020 at 06:59 PM
  #1
Hi Everyone,

I'd like to know if you can think of any coping mechanisms to deal with this stressful situation. After a lifelong battle against major depression, I found social environment/ support and fitness to be my main allies, and everything was somewhat stabilized for many years.

But now, it is like everything is falling apart, and the uncertainty of the future is consuming my peace of mind. I bet many others are feeling the same, so I would love to hear from you, it would certainly help me and others who are struggling right now.

I did something today that made me feel a little better, I cleaned the house, did some schedule planning for activities (like daily light home workouts), and I am planning to write a good essay tonight too. Though it will not completely eliminate my concerns and worries about the aftermath of the virus (I live in New York, so it is scary in every sense) I feel like it is a good start.

Any ideas?
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Default Mar 31, 2020 at 07:30 PM
  #2
CF17, I suspect most people in this country feel like things are falling apart. Probably because they are falling apart. Add to that you're in the epicenter here in the US, boy howdy!

I too battle depression. Isolating and not making contact with other people feeds my depression. Like much of the country I am working from home. I live alone so I go for days without seeing other people. It wears on me. Some things I'm doing that help...

I'm talking to people (friends) on the phone more than usual. It's not the same as face-to-face contact, but at least I get to communicate with another human being.

I'm a reader. I'm focusing on books that really grab my attention. Doesn't do anything for the loneliness, but it distracts me so I can't ruminate.

I make sure to get outside and do something physical every day. Not sure if you can do that in New York. I live on 10 acres in the middle of the boonies. I go out and do chores, feed livestock, work in the garden.

I don't believe we can completely eliminate our concerns. What is going on in the world right not is scary. I believe the best we can do is control it. Like any other emotion if we try to deny it or squash it, we'll just feel worse. Maybe give yourself permission to be scared would help?
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Default Apr 01, 2020 at 12:11 AM
  #3
For the past week have been off work due shelter in place order and it has helped to make daily goals each day to include simple goal of, take a shower. Also do a structured activity for one or more hour of study for recertification test and make a goal of walking my dog 30 minutes or more. It helps to call a friend or family member at least every few days. Still, it’s a struggle since I’m single and do have my dog who is great company and a wonderful companion.

As of Friday will start working from home so that will certainly provide structure to my routine.
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Default Apr 01, 2020 at 01:03 AM
  #4
Dark detective series: just finished watching "Trapped" (Icelandic drama)
Easter peeps (need more...I like to keep them in the freezer)

Ambient music and BBC radio

Prayer
Sleep (I sleep well)
Have been calling my local Crisis Hotline a lot; the counselors there are excellent

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Default Apr 01, 2020 at 05:41 AM
  #5
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Originally Posted by lizardlady View Post
CF17, I suspect most people in this country feel like things are falling apart. Probably because they are falling apart. Add to that you're in the epicenter here in the US, boy howdy!

I too battle depression. Isolating and not making contact with other people feeds my depression. Like much of the country I am working from home. I live alone so I go for days without seeing other people. It wears on me. Some things I'm doing that help...

I'm talking to people (friends) on the phone more than usual. It's not the same as face-to-face contact, but at least I get to communicate with another human being.

I'm a reader. I'm focusing on books that really grab my attention. Doesn't do anything for the loneliness, but it distracts me so I can't ruminate.

I make sure to get outside and do something physical every day. Not sure if you can do that in New York. I live on 10 acres in the middle of the boonies. I go out and do chores, feed livestock, work in the garden.

I don't believe we can completely eliminate our concerns. What is going on in the world right not is scary. I believe the best we can do is control it. Like any other emotion if we try to deny it or squash it, we'll just feel worse. Maybe give yourself permission to be scared would help?
Thank you, Lizard lady!

I'm really impressed with your reaction to all of this, it is really inspiring.

I also like to read, but lately, I can't concentrate on a single reading, as my mind won't stop ruminating about problems. But I will try it again, I forgot how books are so great as a distraction and cognitive stimulant.

You are very correct by mentioning that we can't completely eliminate our problems, and I truly can't understand why it is so hard for me to accept reality. It made me think that once we lose control, all of the negative and irrational thoughts take over. I have to address this somehow.

I'm glad that you have some access to the outdoors, we are locked in for now but trying hard to find creative ways to exercise at home with some youtube videos, phone apps, and music. Bottom line is, the situation is definitely not ideal for people who suffer from depression like us, so a lot of adjustments have to be made while we live this temporary nightmare.

Thank you again, and be safe!
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Default Apr 01, 2020 at 05:53 AM
  #6
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Originally Posted by zapatoes View Post
For the past week have been off work due shelter in place order and it has helped to make daily goals each day to include simple goal of, take a shower. Also do a structured activity for one or more hour of study for recertification test and make a goal of walking my dog 30 minutes or more. It helps to call a friend or family member at least every few days. Still, it’s a struggle since I’m single and do have my dog who is great company and a wonderful companion.

As of Friday will start working from home so that will certainly provide structure to my routine.
Hi Zapatoes,

I'm pleased to hear that you are making the best out of this ordeal.

I agree with calling friends, though I'm very cautious because since everyone else is also struggling, they (sometimes) can make you feel even worse. For example, I have a friend who owns his own house, healthy and fit, had tons of savings, properties, but every time I talk to him all I hear is: "we are all going to perish and starve." So, talking to him is really frustrating because he is selfish (he doesn't like to help others) and ungrateful. But people who lift you up and those who truly care about you are really important.

I have to structure activities too, you are right about that. The simple little actions as a shower, walking the dog, study, these are the life saviors right there at the moment. I'm happy that I wasn't wrong all this time and others share this same mindset.

Enjoy working from home, I'm working only a few hours a week but it is a great distraction. Don't forget to prepare a clean, neat, comfortable environment with plenty of light snacks and your favorite beverages.

Thanks!
Be safe and well!
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Default Apr 01, 2020 at 06:06 AM
  #7
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Originally Posted by DechanDawa View Post
Dark detective series: just finished watching "Trapped" (Icelandic drama)
Easter peeps (need more...I like to keep them in the freezer)

Ambient music and BBC radio

Prayer
Sleep (I sleep well)
Have been calling my local Crisis Hotline a lot; the counselors there are excellent
Hello!

Hmm, ambient music is a great idea... I might put the speakers on today and try to meditate.

Do you like peeps? Omg, go grab more before they run out of it! I'm addicted to Cadbury cream eggs, so I'm really in trouble since I got a full basket of it After this, I might have to go on an extreme diet lol!

Prayer is really important, no matter what your beliefs are. Excellent point right there! I have been neglecting my spirituality for a while...

I'm interested in the Crisis Hotline. I called a counselor, but she referred me to some therapists that would charge a reasonable amount but I'm still reluctant because of the financial uncertainties (any amount may count if we get really down after the virus). Do you know if they offer free or very low-cost services? Is it appointment bases?

Thank you, and have a blessed day!
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Default Apr 01, 2020 at 02:48 PM
  #8
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Hello!

Hmm, ambient music is a great idea... I might put the speakers on today and try to meditate.

Do you like peeps? Omg, go grab more before they run out of it! I'm addicted to Cadbury cream eggs, so I'm really in trouble since I got a full basket of it After this, I might have to go on an extreme diet lol!

Prayer is really important, no matter what your beliefs are. Excellent point right there! I have been neglecting my spirituality for a while...

I'm interested in the Crisis Hotline. I called a counselor, but she referred me to some therapists that would charge a reasonable amount but I'm still reluctant because of the financial uncertainties (any amount may count if we get really down after the virus). Do you know if they offer free or very low-cost services? Is it appointment bases?

Thank you, and have a blessed day!




The Crisis Hotline is the greatest thing in my state. It was set up in response to rising suicidal rates nationally and in this state. So it is for anyone...not just suicidal...but anyone who feels like talking. It's free. If you call the National Suicide Prevention line the call will be routed to the crisis hotline geographically near you. It will always be for free. Of course using this you never get the same counselor twice. I call to get coping ideas and the crisis counselors I talk to are well trained. If you call a suicide prevention hotline and the counselor tells you that it "isn't therapy" they are being basically honest but also kind of rude. I mean, duh, people know it isn't therapy! I always state that I am calling to get help with coping skills and this works well. But depending on the counselor I get...it can spill over into a kind of therapy session. Calls should never go over 20 to 25 minutes...and especially now because the demand is quite high. Hope this helps.


My health care provider also provides crisis counseling. I have used that. I call and leave a message and someone calls me back. Again, it is never the same person and notes are filed in my medical record. It is also free with my membership.

I don't pay for therapy or counseling and don't have a regular therapist. It helps that I do DBT and CBT on my own.

GOOD LUCK. I hope you find a counselor to talk to. If you belong to a church there are probably staff on hand to talk to you right now. My church called me yesterday and someone read me a prayer and it was beautiful and very comforting.

PS I peeps. They aren't big sellers. After Easter the price gets drastically slashed (I guess they don't keep) so I will wait until then to stock up.

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Default Apr 01, 2020 at 02:58 PM
  #9
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Originally Posted by CF17 View Post
Hi Zapatoes,

I'm pleased to hear that you are making the best out of this ordeal.

I agree with calling friends, though I'm very cautious because since everyone else is also struggling, they (sometimes) can make you feel even worse. For example, I have a friend who owns his own house, healthy and fit, had tons of savings, properties, but every time I talk to him all I hear is: "we are all going to perish and starve." So, talking to him is really frustrating because he is selfish (he doesn't like to help others) and ungrateful. But people who lift you up and those who truly care about you are really important.

I have to structure activities too, you are right about that. The simple little actions as a shower, walking the dog, study, these are the life saviors right there at the moment. I'm happy that I wasn't wrong all this time and others share this same mindset.

Enjoy working from home, I'm working only a few hours a week but it is a great distraction. Don't forget to prepare a clean, neat, comfortable environment with plenty of light snacks and your favorite beverages.

Thanks!
Be safe and well!





The same thing happened when I called a longtime old friend. She didn't seem anxious but rather totally ignorant of what was going on. She didn't appear to be adhering to the distancing rules for her state. She was totally consumed with the inane minor inconveniences in her life. It struck me that she was totally narcissistic and I never realized it more than now when this crisis highlights such things.

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Default Apr 01, 2020 at 03:06 PM
  #10
Giving yourself a goal to focus on can help. As well as keeping yourself as busy as possible being productive, and doing things you enjoy to try and keep your mental health in check and to keep you distracted from worrying about the current circumstances we find our selves in.

At least for me this has been working out so far. I have been sorted out paperwork, doing the decorating, finally getting round to sorting my garden out, making the most of the free time I have now I can't work. The quality family time hs only given me clarity on issues that I didnt even realise were issues until I stopped working. For me its been going better then expected, this whole self isolation thing but its not the same for everyone.

Its good to have a community like this to help others
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Default Apr 01, 2020 at 06:36 PM
  #11
CF17, how are you doing today?
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Default Apr 04, 2020 at 02:40 PM
  #12
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Originally Posted by DechanDawa View Post
The Crisis Hotline is the greatest thing in my state. It was set up in response to rising suicidal rates nationally and in this state. So it is for anyone...not just suicidal...but anyone who feels like talking. It's free. If you call the National Suicide Prevention line the call will be routed to the crisis hotline geographically near you. It will always be for free. Of course using this you never get the same counselor twice. I call to get coping ideas and the crisis counselors I talk to are well trained. If you call a suicide prevention hotline and the counselor tells you that it "isn't therapy" they are being basically honest but also kind of rude. I mean, duh, people know it isn't therapy! I always state that I am calling to get help with coping skills and this works well. But depending on the counselor I get...it can spill over into a kind of therapy session. Calls should never go over 20 to 25 minutes...and especially now because the demand is quite high. Hope this helps.

My health care provider also provides crisis counseling. I have used that. I call and leave a message and someone calls me back. Again, it is never the same person and notes are filed in my medical record. It is also free with my membership.

I don't pay for therapy or counseling and don't have a regular therapist. It helps that I do DBT and CBT on my own.

GOOD LUCK. I hope you find a counselor to talk to. If you belong to a church there are probably staff on hand to talk to you right now. My church called me yesterday and someone read me a prayer and it was beautiful and very comforting.

PS I peeps. They aren't big sellers. After Easter the price gets drastically slashed (I guess they don't keep) so I will wait until then to stock up.

Very insightful! I just saw the message now because these past days have been crazy going after groceries. I heard about the crisis hotline but I never thought that these mini therapy sessions could be a possibility. I think that the fact that there are different counselors every time you call has a positive side because then you get different coping mechanisms and impressions. I will look into that because as I see the situation getting worse in my area, any money available should be directed to basic necessities. Paying for therapy (I have no insurance) right now sounds a little irresponsible...

Thank you for your advice, I hope that you are safe and well despite this. situation. And now I want to eat peeps too
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Default Apr 04, 2020 at 02:49 PM
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Giving yourself a goal to focus on can help. As well as keeping yourself as busy as possible being productive, and doing things you enjoy to try and keep your mental health in check and to keep you distracted from worrying about the current circumstances we find our selves in.

At least for me this has been working out so far. I have been sorted out paperwork, doing the decorating, finally getting round to sorting my garden out, making the most of the free time I have now I can't work. The quality family time hs only given me clarity on issues that I didnt even realise were issues until I stopped working. For me its been going better then expected, this whole self isolation thing but its not the same for everyone.

Its good to have a community like this to help others
Beautiful! Productivity is the key! I definitely have to try harder at keeping myself motivated by setting small goals and doing things that please me (even though locked inside of a house).

I'm so happy that you find comfort with gardening and decoration, you seem like a very talented, creative and skilled person. Moreover, "clarity on issues" is also very interesting. It made me realize that we don't know yet but there will be good outcomes from this struggle. We now have an opportunity to look at ourselves and reflect, reevaluate, restore. Not to mention the reassessment of our relationships and social environment that will change completely from now on...

Last edited by CF17; Apr 04, 2020 at 03:08 PM..
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Default Apr 04, 2020 at 03:02 PM
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CF17, how are you doing today?
Hi Lizard Lady,

I'm doing better, under the circumstances. Things in my city are going terribly since the cases just keep growing exponentially, but there is hope. Hearing your thoughts helped me a lot to move out of that depressive hole of hopelessness in which I was starting to fall. I'm forcing myself to perform a minimum of physical activity, eating relatively healthy, connecting to support communities like this one right here, seeking resources, ... so it has not been easy at all, this is a moment of trial, our strength and faith are being tested. Therefore, we are working harder to battle not only depression but a devastating virus and the economic damages that it will cause throughout the world.

How about you? How have you been this past week?
I hope everything is well and getting better! We shall overcome this!
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Default Apr 04, 2020 at 06:16 PM
  #15
Thanks for asking. I've been up and down this week. Today was a really good day. I spent most of it at the barn playing with the horses and chatting with a friend.
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Default Apr 04, 2020 at 06:36 PM
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That's good Liz, I think one can let this challenge swallow them up, or look at it as a way to make time to enjoy your home and engage with things you never seemed to have time to do when busy working and getting to and from the job. You can focus on all the things you can't do or choose to think about the things you can do, even if it's catching up on reading or house work or yard work or vegging out watching movies you may have been to busy to watch.
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Default Apr 04, 2020 at 07:16 PM
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OE, I am working from home so my schedule is full as ever.
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Default Apr 04, 2020 at 07:18 PM
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Hi Everyone,

I'd like to know if you can think of any coping mechanisms to deal with this stressful situation. After a lifelong battle against major depression, I found social environment/ support and fitness to be my main allies, and everything was somewhat stabilized for many years.

But now, it is like everything is falling apart, and the uncertainty of the future is consuming my peace of mind. I bet many others are feeling the same, so I would love to hear from you, it would certainly help me and others who are struggling right now.

I did something today that made me feel a little better, I cleaned the house, did some schedule planning for activities (like daily light home workouts), and I am planning to write a good essay tonight too. Though it will not completely eliminate my concerns and worries about the aftermath of the virus (I live in New York, so it is scary in every sense) I feel like it is a good start.

Any ideas?
I understand how you feel. Schedule something to do everyday is a good idea.
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Default Apr 05, 2020 at 07:26 AM
  #19
I started a journal, as this is an historical time. I go for a walk every day. xo
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Default Jun 09, 2020 at 05:25 PM
  #20
Hello, I am new to this arena as I am a social work student who was required to participate in an online group. However, I was to choose a group that would be personal to me so I could gain all that I can from this experience. I had a very difficult time when coronavirus first came to the states because I work in a nursing facility and when we got our first case I was terrified. I was scared to go to work, becoming very depressed not being able to spend time with my Mom especially for fear I would infect her. I have had to have a conversation with my PCP because I had a tremendous amount of displaced anger and was unable to control my emotions. I ended up being prescribed an antidepressant that has given me some relief. In addition to that I have decided that social distancing is causing me more harm emotionally than I can stand and have been meeting in small groups with a few of my girlfriends who quite frankly feel the same way. I'm looking forward to getting to know some of you and encourage and lift one another up.
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