advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
beauflow
-------no titles please--
 
beauflow's Avatar
beauflow As usual... lost in the cosmic chaos
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Anywhere where I can grow
Posts: 11,896 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
15.1k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Trig Jul 02, 2020 at 12:23 AM
  #1
Possible trigger:


Was I wrong to bring this up with the leasing office?
I shamefully feel like I had power over another with the information-- but I worried about the kids and what ifs.

I know a part of me says- "you did nothing wrong" but I'm conflicted. Even though i know, i would had felt awful if something happened and I didn't share the information

__________________
"A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market." Charles Lamb
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=da7StUzVh3s

Last edited by beauflow; Jul 02, 2020 at 12:24 AM.. Reason: Outs not outside
beauflow is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MuseumGhost, Open Eyes, unaluna, WovenGalaxy
 
Thanks for this!
childofchaos831, MuseumGhost

advertisement
unaluna
Elder Harridan x-hankster
 
unaluna's Avatar
unaluna Female luna moth - Please, dont @mention me?Thanks!
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 39,753 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
66.1k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 02, 2020 at 12:46 AM
  #2
There are laws to protect you (like directories) and there are laws to protect him (like you cant harass him?). Its a difficult situation to be in. But i think if you look at the directories, very few neighborhoods dont have them now. Or maybe thats just my towns!
unaluna is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
beauflow
mote.of.soul
Mad Walker
 
mote.of.soul's Avatar
mote.of.soul Act not the goat
 
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 13,041 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
21.9k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 02, 2020 at 01:34 AM
  #3
Yeah, that would be a tricky decision to make, @beauflow. This awful world puts us in all sorts of unwanted situations.

At the end of the day, you did what you needed to do, and it's good because the welfare of children came first, regardless. And if the guy in your building has a conscience about his sex offending, then he should understand why anyone would feel concerned. As you say, if anything happened, well, that would be a terrible weight to carry around for you.

I don't think what you did was wrong, no. And the conflict you feel is natural, too. It's understandable.
mote.of.soul is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MuseumGhost
 
Thanks for this!
beauflow, MuseumGhost, Open Eyes
divine1966
Legendary Wise Elder
 
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 Tired!!!
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,303 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
1,274 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 02, 2020 at 07:12 AM
  #4
Wrong post.
divine1966 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
beauflow
-------no titles please--
 
beauflow's Avatar
beauflow As usual... lost in the cosmic chaos
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Anywhere where I can grow
Posts: 11,896 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
15.1k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 02, 2020 at 07:26 AM
  #5
I understand no harassment- that's why the part of me that wanted post print outs knew it wasn't ok, and I dont want people to mob over to the guy... but I worried. I also was frustrated that I was under the belief that the community is notified of such things but we weren't and reading it's not required every where, If anywhere.

I'm also aware that each resident signs an agreement of crime free with the landlor for the property- no recent convictions and no convictions during residency, or it's result in eviction.

While it focuses on drugs it does have mentioned if assault or any crime/ criminal activity.
Luring a child fits that

There has been past neighbors evicted due to - one was a fist fight at a gym! They got evicted because assault charges got brought up, and the parent of the guy that had the police shoot out got evicted because he was letting his son stay with him..
I'm not saying I fully agree and is on part my worries with family that didn't lure a child being punished for another's crime and not following thr rules or being honest with the leasing office.

Now I'm getting angry that I stuck my nose into this that I wanted to sign up for next door and was given this information.

I don't understand why THIS CSA SEEMS TO NEVER STOP.

But thanks Unaluna and Mote of Souls

__________________
"A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market." Charles Lamb
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=da7StUzVh3s
beauflow is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MuseumGhost
 
Thanks for this!
mote.of.soul
TishaBuv
Legendary
TishaBuv It’s mostly them, and somewhat me.
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,122 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
1,857 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 02, 2020 at 07:28 AM
  #6
I think you absolutely did the right thing. The office will handle the matter lawfully. These laws are to protect the public.

Once, another resident where I lived sent around a flyer to the whole community that this man who was a registered sex offender was living there. I think that’s an example where someone went too far and violated the rights of the man. I just disregarded the flyer.

__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!"
. About Me--T
TishaBuv is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MuseumGhost
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, beauflow, MuseumGhost
TishaBuv
Legendary
TishaBuv It’s mostly them, and somewhat me.
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,122 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
1,857 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 02, 2020 at 07:30 AM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
There are laws to protect you (like directories) and there are laws to protect him (like you cant harass him?). Its a difficult situation to be in. But i think if you look at the directories, very few neighborhoods dont have them now. Or maybe thats just my towns!
There is no online sex offender registry where you live?

__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!"
. About Me--T
TishaBuv is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
WovenGalaxy
Magnate
 
WovenGalaxy's Avatar
WovenGalaxy has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,850
3 yr Member
4,835 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 02, 2020 at 09:39 AM
  #8
I think you did the right thing. It sounds like you know this too, but need to process it. That's ok. Good to know that too.
WovenGalaxy is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
beauflow, MuseumGhost
Travelinglady
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Travelinglady's Avatar
Travelinglady is feeling tired.
 
Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 47,791 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
22.8k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 02, 2020 at 10:25 AM
  #9
I don't think being a sex offender is a private matter, and records can be looked up, so I think it was a good idea.
Travelinglady is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
beauflow, MuseumGhost, Open Eyes
unaluna
Elder Harridan x-hankster
 
unaluna's Avatar
unaluna Female luna moth - Please, dont @mention me?Thanks!
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 39,753 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
66.1k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 02, 2020 at 11:31 AM
  #10
Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
There is no online sex offender registry where you live?
There is, thats what im saying. I used the word directories instead of online registeries. i dont know my current neighborhood that well, but i checked my hometown. Theres an offender every few blocks.
unaluna is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
beauflow
 
Thanks for this!
beauflow, MuseumGhost, TishaBuv
Open Eyes
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Open Eyes's Avatar
Open Eyes Not a Unicorn, just another horse
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,093 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
21.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 02, 2020 at 09:13 PM
  #11
I think it was ok that you notified the landlord beauflow.
Open Eyes is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
beauflow, MuseumGhost
TishaBuv
Legendary
TishaBuv It’s mostly them, and somewhat me.
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,122 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
1,857 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 03, 2020 at 05:38 AM
  #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
There is, thats what im saying. I used the word directories instead of online registeries. i dont know my current neighborhood that well, but i checked my hometown. Theres an offender every few blocks.

I know the laws are that they can’t live a certain distance from a school and such. Sure, there are offenders on the registry living all over. Also, some of them may have only been say, like a 19 year old who was put on the registry for consensual sex with a 17 year old and it follows them for life, if I am correct. I hear there’s talk of removing those kinds of offenders, and i agree. Anyone can look on the registry if they want to know who are and where the offenders live.

Beau- If your development said he can’t live there, it must be due to a law regarding distance to a school or similar.

__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!"
. About Me--T
TishaBuv is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
beauflow
 
Thanks for this!
beauflow, MuseumGhost, unaluna
beauflow
-------no titles please--
 
beauflow's Avatar
beauflow As usual... lost in the cosmic chaos
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Anywhere where I can grow
Posts: 11,896 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
15.1k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 03, 2020 at 07:48 AM
  #13
We sign a "crime free" agreement with the leasing office.
I think that's why the leasing Lady mentioned what she did. But could be something else

__________________
"A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market." Charles Lamb
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=da7StUzVh3s
beauflow is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
MuseumGhost
Grand Magnate
 
MuseumGhost's Avatar
MuseumGhost Fortior cotidie
 
Member Since: Apr 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,257
10 yr Member
12.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 03, 2020 at 06:23 PM
  #14
I think you did the right thing. Try and think of it this way---What if something unthinkable happened to a neighbour's child, and you HADN'T done anything about it when you could have?

That answers it for me, right there.
MuseumGhost is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
CaptainChaos
Member
CaptainChaos has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2020
Location: Missouri
Posts: 34
3 yr Member
4 hugs
given
Default Aug 03, 2020 at 08:11 PM
  #15
Okay so here is the flip side of that coin...what IF you had not said anything and that person had hurt a child in the complex or in the neighborhood? Then how do you think you would be feeling? Can they be cured? I can't give you a definitive answer about that. What I can tell you is that statistics say that sex offenders have and 85% (or more) recidivism rate. Higher than any other crime. Of the 15% that don't reoffend, I personally wonder if its because they just aren't getting caught or were never true sex criminals to begin with. Don't beat yourself up. You would feel worse if you had kept your mouth shut and
Quote:
he had raped a woman or a child.

Last edited by feralkittymom; Aug 04, 2020 at 12:27 AM..
CaptainChaos is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
MuseumGhost
sarahsweets
Threadtastic Postaholic
 
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
192 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 04, 2020 at 02:43 AM
  #16
You do not list your location but I am a pretty good looker upper if you want to share and have me check out some info.

__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:30 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.