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FeatherFeather
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Default Sep 03, 2020 at 04:44 AM
  #1
Hi everyone,
First I want to say that I’m really glad to be able to read about how you guys cope and just deal with, and think about, situations in reg to just life. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in this ‘struggle’ of trying to solve the equation so to speak.

Also: I know that none of you are professional therapeusts etc.

So, I’ve been struggling with some panic-attacks, depressive moods and ADHD for quite some time, and I sometime feel that not much is needed to get into a good spiral but also not much has to happen for me to get into a bad spiral...
Sometimes I have been having this feeling of ‘I can not cope anymore’ meaning that I would sort of withdraw and feel the mental ‘giving up’-feeling strongly, but then I would be able to slowly get out of it again. However, now I’ve started studying again after the summervacation has ended, and it’s going absolutely horrible...
I could describe more into details exactly how I f... things up in reg to my studies, but ultimately I think it comes down to the fact that I now do not have that ‘extra time buffer’ to slowly get back into ‘I can do this’-mode.
And so, I feel under so much pressure because I do not have that time I need to get back to being myself after something has gone ‘wrong’... and the more I feel under pressure for having to get back to being myself the harder it is for this process to happen it seems...

Like for instance: Last Friday I almost had a panic attack at school and I almost couldn’t stand the feeling of being ‘that type of person’ who has to step outside for half an hour just to be able to deal with it. Everyone was very understanding and everything, but I felt like it was so tough on my ‘self perception’. I felt like I was a victim, and I couldn’t have that. I mean, for people to see that.
I didn’t deal with it very well I guess, because I haven’t been in school since that... which is horrible, I know! All I want is to go back there, but I haven’t felt Sufficiently ‘in tune’ to be able to. And I now feel like Im starting to give up on everything; good habits, self care, school, communicating with others, my home etc... it seems like that even if I go back to school soon then this will happen again, and it will need all - and more to - of my mental strenght every single time. And it seems like it’s breaking me slowly...

Anyway, I was hoping that maybe someone reading this can relate, or maybe someone reading this has just some thoughts - any thoughts - on this...
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quietlylost
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Default Sep 03, 2020 at 09:14 AM
  #2
If you're noticing that you're starting to give up on self care that might be an opportunity for you to stop things before they continue to spiral. It can be hard to make a commitment to change things when you're already feeling down or overwhelmed, but we do have a lot of agency in our own recovery. Doing something little like even committing to a night or two of self care a week can have huge payoffs.

If you deal with ADHD and depression, both have an impact on difficulty starting and staying organized. It can cause significant distress when routines change, and also when new stressors are added. Give yourself permission to validate that. Remind yourself that you may struggle differently than other people. That's not wrong. There's nothing bad about feeling the way you feel. It's just important that you find a way to take care of yourself. Figure out what your goals are for yourself right now. What do you want to feel? What would feeling better look like to you? And what steps are you able and willing to take to get there?

If you're not seeing a therapist or coach it can definitely be helpful in times like this. In general, being proactive and intentional is super helpful. Trying to stop the train before it picks up too much speed. It sounds like you have a history of good coping skills and strategies in the past. It may be time to blow the dust off some of those and bring them back into your life. It may also be time to reach out for help, either at school or with other supports that you have. Good luck!
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FeatherFeather
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Smile Sep 06, 2020 at 09:04 PM
  #3
Thank you for your response quietlylost 🙏🏼

I haven’t been as specific as you suggest when talking about exactly what it is that I would like to change in order for me to be in a better place and feel better.
It’s very helpful that you pointed this out to me.
I have contacted my previous therapeust and will talk to her about going there on a weekly basis

Again, Thank you!
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Fractal Night
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Default Sep 08, 2020 at 01:07 PM
  #4
I've found mindfulness meditation to really help with panic attacks and depression and especially ADHD. I find that when things feel overwhelming or when it's hard to focus or you have thoughts and emotions that spiral too much one way or the other, it can give you a chance to wipe your slate clean and start again. Kind of like how sometimes you have to restart your computer to fix something that's gone glitchy.
Also if you have panic attacks you can take care of it more "discreetly", (or prevent one all together) which is an important skill to learn, as in some places (like a lot of work places) they don't just let you take "time outs".
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Default Sep 13, 2020 at 06:01 PM
  #5
I can relate to having panic attacks (they were particularly bad at school) I did go in every day and I kept having them ugh. I eventually skipped one of the worst triggers (2 in fact) as much as I could (reading aloud in class being one of them..I put up with that for years though). but didn't skip days of school. I even took different A levels because of my anxiety. I didn't know about mindfulness meditation back then. It's a good suggestion! Self care is something I'm struggling with a bit right now. I hope some of the replies have been helpful

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