Resiliency against retaliation

Afraid to report but also afraid not to report. Can’t speak to this person directly - is it legal to disregard the law completely. This IS a safe neighbor hood but she doesn’t work here and she didn’t grow up here and i couldn’t be closer to home but still feel scared 😱. Can’t do what she asks, well she is not asking- and can’t read her mind. Whatever her intentions are - I feel threatened by her “investigations”. I don’t care who gave her permission to monitor me, what she is doing is harassment and possibly a form of voodoo. I know I have an unhealthy attachment to objects but I do see them as sacred in my own way - She doesn’t belong in my everyday affairs ! How do I make this stop?

I know what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger but I feel too much pressure to conform to her way- which I see as threatening and violent and to be honest, quite ignorant. I can’t blame her directly because everyone seems to be this way. I but honestly- doesn’t everyone already know that fighting fire with fire is the best and only way. I feel spent and the day hasn’t even begun yet. I’m thirsty but am afraid to use the bathroom. Ugh, I AM afraid of everything. Not sure what i’d do without my dog by my side and knowing no one could take her away from me. Very much wish to bring a puppy into our lives but this situation is too hostile. Not looking forward to tomorrow morning.

Hope it is OK to say this. I believe in voodoo but I believe my higher power is stronger. Sorry you are feeling afraid. That is the worst feeling. Hope you feel safer soon.

Ann bog, hugs to you. Is there anyone you can go to about this? Is there any way you can soothe yourself and lessen your anxiety? I'm glad you have your dog.

Fwiw, I don't believe in voodoo.

Ty both for your support. I’m sure the local authorities and most of my family, friends and neighbors are aware of the situation here. I do still feel a need to let out my own aggression every once and a while. Thank your for listening. I’m codependent so it is important for me to work out problems on my own. What is worse is that I’ve found someone who has been very supportive of my problems but this is one issue he won’t involve himself.

To lessen my anxiety, I had another spending spree - I bought house shoes, a juicer, a few new outfits and a couple of hats to match. I wish I could adorn myself up nicer but emotionally I can’t handle too much more.

Sometimes I feel like working towards a goal is useless. Not sure if perfection will ever be possible or if I will ever “reach my potential” but right now I feel useless and alone. I feel the best thing for me to do right now is walk away from anything that could harm me emotionally. As hard as that is to do, letting go does feel better most of the time.