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Old 09-24-2020, 12:49 PM   #11
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Default Re: Why am I constantly a target for bullies, abusers and the like?

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Originally Posted by RoxanneToto View Post
All Iíll say is it can be difficult to read tone in text. Not aimed at anyone here, but I have read posts elsewhere (different forums) I felt were aggressive in tone, but others didnít question or react to in the same way I might have if Iíd responded.
Iím very sorry to hear youíve been bullied online, in any case. The internet is, unfortunately, a good place to spout vitriol at others if youíre so inclined because of the anonymity it offers. Even better if youíre in a clique, as youíve found! As to why you find yourself a target so often, I canít say for sure. Iíve been a target in real life even though Iíve always tried to keep my head down and not go out of my way to offend others - so, I do get what youíre talking about, even if I donít understand why, either.
Thank you, @RoxanneToto. I appreciate your kind reply and thoughts.

I had someone seriously go after me recently on another forum. She attacked me and insulted me, then accused ME of verbal abuse. The forum admin said she is from another country and excused her behavior by saying it's a "cultural barrier" issue. That's unacceptable to me. I felt bullied by her and beaten up simply because we had a difference in viewpoints.

And yes, I feel that many feel they can be more bold online than in person. In person, it can be just as bad though.

Bullying can have catastrophic effects on someone. It's a serious matter.

I'm very sorry you've experiences it IRL. I can empathize. It's not fun and it takes a toll.
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Old 09-24-2020, 01:14 PM   #12
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Default Re: Why am I constantly a target for bullies, abusers and the like?

One fairly sure-fire way to take the wind out of a bully's sails is to simply not react which is particularly easy to do online (less easy or effective with in-person bullying). Online bullies live for the reaction, the defensive response. If you don't react, they've lost their audience and will move one to find someone who will excite them with a defensive response. You do tend to respond and defend rather than ignore, and that may be why, online at least, it becomes a problem for you.

If a forum is moderated, you can choose to not respond to the "bully" directly, but rather, bring the post to the attention of the moderator to handle.
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Old 09-24-2020, 01:20 PM   #13
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Default Re: Why am I constantly a target for bullies, abusers and the like?

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One fairly sure-fire way to take the wind out of a bully's sails is to simply not react which is particularly easy to do online (less easy or effective with in-person bullying). Online bullies live for the reaction, the defensive response. If you don't react, they've lost their audience and will move one to find someone who will excite them with a defensive response. You do tend to respond and defend rather than ignore, and that may be why, online at least, it becomes a problem for you.

If a forum is moderated, you can choose to not respond to the "bully" directly, but rather, bring the post to the attention of the moderator to handle.
You make a great point! And I do tend to respond. I feel the need to stand up for myself, so I respond. Perhaps ignoring really IS the best way to go. I need to think on this more, but I think you've made such a valid point.
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Old 09-24-2020, 01:49 PM   #14
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Default Re: Why am I constantly a target for bullies, abusers and the like?

I teach teenagers, and I learned years ago that some of them just love to push buttons to see if they can get a rise out of their teachers. Teachers who know how to actively ignore those kinds of button-pushers, have very few behavioral problems in class - we're just not fun. LOL! Teachers who react are constantly dealing with those same kids. They want an audience, and if they can get us to react--they've won. Online bullies are pretty much on that level.
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Old 09-24-2020, 01:50 PM   #15
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Default Re: Why am I constantly a target for bullies, abusers and the like?

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Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins View Post
One fairly sure-fire way to take the wind out of a bully's sails is to simply not react which is particularly easy to do online (less easy or effective with in-person bullying). Online bullies live for the reaction, the defensive response. If you don't react, they've lost their audience and will move one to find someone who will excite them with a defensive response. You do tend to respond and defend rather than ignore, and that may be why, online at least, it becomes a problem for you.

If a forum is moderated, you can choose to not respond to the "bully" directly, but rather, bring the post to the attention of the moderator to handle.
Good post
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Old 09-24-2020, 01:53 PM   #16
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Default Re: Why am I constantly a target for bullies, abusers and the like?

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I teach teenagers, and I learned years ago that some of them just love to push buttons to see if they can get a rise out of their teachers. Teachers who know how to actively ignore those kinds of button-pushers, have very few behavioral problems in class - we're just not fun. LOL! Teachers who react are constantly dealing with those same kids. They want an audience, and if they can get us to react--they've won. Online bullies are pretty much on that level.
Wow -- very interesting.

Well, I would certainly equate all bullies to being infantile and very child-like. It's really immature behavior. And not very enlightened behavior either. They will fall by the wayside, when it comes to spiritual ascension. But that's a different topic.

A part of me - my more mature side - knows that I am far beyond this, and that I do not need to engage.

And then my more immature, less developed side wants to engage and stand up to them.
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Old 09-24-2020, 02:25 PM   #17
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