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Member
Member Since Jul 2020
Location: Texas
Posts: 221
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#1
So I sit and tell people every bad thing that's ever happened to me. But only in my mind. I imagine telling this person or that person, or a judge, or anyone- this is what happened to me. This happened. This happened.
So what the heck is going on here? Sometimes I can't sleep for hours because I'm 'busy' telling someone about something that happened years and years ago. |
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*Beth*, downandlonely, Open Eyes, RoxanneToto, Taylor27, WovenGalaxy
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Hobbit House, RoxanneToto
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
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#2
I am sorry Toughcookie, this is one of the symptoms that presents with complex ptsd. Are you seeing a therapist?
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Toughcooki
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*Beth*, Hobbit House, Toughcooki
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Member
Member Since Jul 2020
Location: Texas
Posts: 221
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#3
Yes, I have a new T as of last week. And I do have PTSD, and since it's based on lifelong trauma I expect it's probably cptsd. I didn't know this was a normal symptom - that's actually a huge relief, haha.
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*Beth*, Hobbit House, RoxanneToto, WovenGalaxy
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*Beth*, WovenGalaxy
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Junior Member
Member Since Mar 2020
Location: UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
Posts: 11
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#4
we are here for you.
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Toughcooki
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Toughcooki
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Member
Member Since Jul 2020
Location: Texas
Posts: 221
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#5
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Veteran Member
Member Since Apr 2003
Location: Central Florida, USA
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#6
ToughCooki, I feel for your dilemma about telling people your experience. I think you tell in imagination because you, and I, know our friends and relatives can't relate to our problems, and don't want to either. Friends are just waiting for a pause to tell you all about their problems, their children's problems that you don't even know. It's only a therapist who understands and doesn't brush you off. What really gets me is a T who says to talk to friends because "therapists aren't real". That is so stupid and dismissive. Are friends more real when they can't understand anything about your emotions? I feel like quitting with a T as soon as he tells me to find friends, or relatives to talk to. I guess T had plenty of friends and colleagues in the university to tell his stuff to; so, he doesn't know what it's like in the so-called "real world"
I'm so thankful for this forum where we are heard and understood and can share back and forth with friends here. |
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Toughcooki
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RoxanneToto, Toughcooki
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Threadtastic Postaholic
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
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#7
It could be that you have had your issues invalidated over your lifetime and what to feel validated.
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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Toughcooki
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Toughcooki
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: England
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#8
I do this, too, not to the extent you’re describing but I do tell imaginary people about stuff that happened to me ages ago. Some are things that I have told others and not got the reaction I was expecting or hoping for (i.e. not been validated). Not got a diagnosis of PTSD, however.
I hope you can get the support you need, in any case. |
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Toughcooki
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Toughcooki
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Member
Member Since Jul 2020
Location: Texas
Posts: 221
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#9
Quote:
So unreasonable. I agree if my friend had just had a bad day - but what she's dealing with is HUGE and temporary. A few years from now, I'll still be depressed, but her husband will probably be gone, her grandma will be gone, and - well, she'll probably be depressed right there with me. But at least then she would have a little more leisure to back-and-forth about depression & bad stuff that's happened in the past. Besides, a friend is likely to either not know what to say, and just change the subject, or else be TOO supportive (a yes-man, telling you what you want to hear) while a good T may challenge you to challenge yourself, etc. I honestly don't WANT my friends to be able to relate to the stuff I would tell them bc nooooo I don't want anyone else to have gone through any of that stuff. And if they didn't go through it, how could you possibly understand? I mean- I was certain, as a child, that I had less than a 50-50 chance of making it to adulthood. I don't think I've ever met anyone else who lived with that constant awareness of the strong possibility of early death. And thought about it. As a child - 'will I live to be 18 so I can leave?' isn't something a little kid should be thinking about, and I don't think most people can understand how a thing like that changes the way you look at life. A good T would understand that, though. And people here on the forums, God Bless 'em! LOL! |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2020
Location: Texas
Posts: 221
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#10
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sarahsweets
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Member
Member Since Jul 2020
Location: Texas
Posts: 221
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#11
Quote:
Now that I think of it, it may be a kind of rehearsing. |
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