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abby123
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Default May 05, 2004 at 04:49 PM
  #1
Hi everybody,
I'm hoping someone could give me an idea on whats wrong with my brother.
My brother's name is Jesse and he is 16. My brother has always been shy, but in the last year and a half he started to avoid all social events, and stopped talking to his friends. I have three other brothers and Jesse used to always talk nonstop with them and with me. He doesn't do that anymore. The only time he goes anywhere is to church, and my mom has to force him. He doesn't even go to the movies, and the last time we went, he said that he couldn't focus on what was going on and that he found no enjoyment at all.
He says that he can't find any enjoyment in anything anymore, and that he has a ton of thoughts going on in his head.
He also won't use his left hand, his reason being so he can keep it clean. He also says that he has no feeling in his arms and legs.

Well, last night he started crying for no reason and then fell asleep.
When he woke up he started screaming and crying, and then started shaking. He was also throwing up. My mother called an ambulance and they took his vitals and they were stable. They ended up taking him to the hospital.
He has had a brain scan and other tests before and they found nothing.
His doctor wants him to see a psychiatrist, but my parents don't want him to see one.
I am really worried about him. I have never seen or heard him like he was last night. I want to help him. Please, if anybody has an idea on what is wrong with him please tell me.
Thanks in advance,
Abby

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Default May 05, 2004 at 05:04 PM
  #2
Ask the professionals.

Maybe he's got depression or he's pyschotic or something.

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Default May 05, 2004 at 05:52 PM
  #3
abby, what you describe could be due to a number of things, and he really needs to see a psychiatrist to be properly diagnosed. If he gets professional help, then he could get treatment that would help him feel better.

I know this must be very scary for you. The best thing you can do for your brother is try to convince your parents to take him to a psychiatrist. Only a doctor can really diagnose what is wrong, and provide the treatment he needs.

Good luck.
*hugs*
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Default May 05, 2004 at 05:53 PM
  #4
hi abby

i think that could be a number of things, including a severe case of depression and/or possibly a personality disorder or anxiety. I myself suffer from depression and the loss of concentration and being unable to enjoy things really hits home. the racing thoughts can also be a symptom of depression, they used to keep me awake at night, or could also be anxiety. from the other things maybe even the possibility of some sort of neurological problem... if a scan before didn't show anything at least i would keep in touch with the doctor for maybe more tests or something.

but it really sounds like seeing a psychiatrist is really in order even if there are other things going on as well. depression and other illnesses are very treatable now and are much better understood than they were years ago. depression is now known to be possibly caused by an imbalance in brain chemicals in some cases... only a professional doctor can diagnose what might be wrong and how to go about treating it. Treatment may consist of talk therapy and possibly a combination of talk therapy and medications. There is all sorts of misinformation and fear among some people at the very thought of mental illness and that keeps people from seeking treatment, which is a shame because very effective treatments are now available.

so a good question is why don't your parents want him to see a pdoc especially since their doctor recommended it? If they are making assumptions as to what mental illness is based on the misconceptions in society then they are doing your brother an injustice in my opinion... keeping him from treatment that may help him. if he is suffering from clinical depression or some other illness like bipolar or something it is likely not going to to away on its own and even now it is keeping your brother, at least something is, from enjoying the healthy life that he deserves. i think it would be important at the very least to find out what the cause of this is even if a pdoc rules out some things. it sounds to me though that some sort of disorder is at least playing a large role in what it going on.

assuming again that your parents don't want to take him to a pdoc because they think it is a sign of weakness or something, there is a lot of information available on the web and in books about depression and other things, maybe some better understanding will help relieve whatever fears they might have. they took him to the hospital when they thought there might be a neurological condition causing his problem, they should be able to do the same if a psychiatric problem is suspected. think of it like seeing a specialist that he was refered to by his doctor.

i hope your brother can get whatever help he needs to get past this. he is lucky he has family like you looking out for his interests. asking questions to find out more is probably the best thing you can be doing for him right now.

good luck and let us know how things go.

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abby123
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Default May 05, 2004 at 06:45 PM
  #5
Thanks for the input so far everyone.
The reason my parents don't want Jesse to see a psychiatrist, is because of their religion. My parents are both strict christians, and they believe that anything mental can be solved God.
I don't believe that, but unfortunately I'm not his mom.
As for my brother, he doesn't want to see a psychiatrist because he is afraid to be labeled as "crazy".
I'm just really frustrated, and I want to do what is best for Jesse. I love him very much and it breaks my heart to see him like this.

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Default May 05, 2004 at 07:45 PM
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abby, do you think it might help if you could show them evidence that these problems are really chemical imbalances? Also, there are christian therapists who use christian teachings...would they be willing to do that, do you think?

I know there is not a lot you can do...these are just a couple of ideas I have.

*hugs*
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Default May 05, 2004 at 09:51 PM
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See what you think of this article: It's very simple and straight forward.

http://www.basictheology.com/article..._Depression/5/

Now, your parents aren't against medical treatment generally, it's just the issue of psychiatric problems? Is that correct? I'm just asking so maybe we can try to help further. Thanks.

How do they feel about therapists, without meds? (maybe one recommended by the school rather than church so that meds might be recommended gently, if needed.)

Emmy

"Language is a Trojan horse by which the universe gets into the mind. ." -- Hugh Kenner
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Default May 05, 2004 at 10:59 PM
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Hi Abby. Your brother is lucky to have you. What you described is scary. My first thought is that he sounds like he went through some trauma. Is there a friend or family member he used to spend time with or was close with that suddenly he doesn't want to be around or alone with? Many churches have pastoral counseling. Maybe your folks would go for that. He obviously needs some help. Be there for him the best you can and maybe you can find some literature for your parents. Good luck. I really pray he gets the help he needs. Annie

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Default May 06, 2004 at 01:53 AM
  #9
There are any number of things or a combination that could be going on with your brother. It isn't our place to diagnose here though. I agree that he needs to be seen by a professional. Obviously, he is in a lot of distress.

My parents also didn't want to admit that mental disorders warranted treatment - they thought they could ignore it and it would go away, or the person should just shape up and act normal. There are any number of reasons why people avoid treatment for mental disorders, including stigma, the belief that it should be healed through spiritual means, or just flat-out denying that they are legitimate diseases. In my family, 4 out of 6 siblings have had anxiety and/or depression, 1 is schizophrenic, and 1 has Down Syndrome. My parents started out denying that Down Syndrome would have much effect, but as my youngest sister is pretty severe, and has always had physical complications too, they didn't have any choice about accepting that. Later on, when my brother with schizophrenia became unmanagable, they eventually had to admit that he needed treatment. Most of the rest of us (I guess mainly me perhaps - I'm the oldest) had trouble getting taken seriously, and that made things worse.

What it comes down to is that denying the problem makes it worse, not better, and that many factors are involved in mental illnesses, just like many factors are involved in those illnesses thought of as physical. The two are not separate entities like our culture likes to believe. Both types of illnesses have biological, psychological, social, and spiritual factors. If God can heal mental illnesses, then He can also heal physical illnesses. I believe that he can (both), but that He requires us to work on them ourselves and do what we can to get better. That means getting treatment, as well as having faith and taking care of ourselves, and social support helps also. If your brother had a broken arm, would your parents deny him treatment and expect God to heal it? You have mentioned that your brother has symptoms that he perceives as physical also, such as numbness in his extremities. It's all connected, and it is real to him. And we don't know enough about the brain to say that negative results on a brain scan mean that no physical problem exists.

Your brother is lucky to have you to advocate for him. Good luck to you! Help for my brother And please let us know how it's going. I think that eventually your parents are going to have to start listening to you.
Wendy

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abby123
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Default May 06, 2004 at 05:17 AM
  #10
We are going to Jesse's primary doctor today, so wish us luck.
I'm positive that my mother won't accept medication if it turns out he needs it. My mother has always leaned more to herbal and alternitive medicine even for physical problems.

I have been trying to think back to when this all started. I know it was about a year and a half ago when I noticed his behavior changing. I have asked him if he know what could have triggered it, and he just says that one day he just started feeling that way. My best friend and her sisters have commented to me on his behavior. She is like a sister to me and my brothers. Like I said, he has always been shy and my best friend and her sisters were the few people he talked to. Now, he doesn't talk to them at all. I don't think he would even talk to me unless I initiated the conversation. As for my other brothers, they don't know quite how to deal with this, so they just tease him.

I'm pretty sure that depression runs in the family, because my sister has it. And when I was 14-16, I had crying fits and cut myself on occasion. I never told my parents, because I was sure that they wouldn't understand. My brothers knew though. I still have moments when I think about cutting myself, but I haven't acted on them since I was 16. I'm 20 now. I asked Jesse if he has ever thought about hurting himself, and he said no. I'm grateful for that at least.

Anyway, thanks so much for everyones advice. I really appreciate it.

Abby

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Default May 07, 2004 at 08:01 PM
  #11
Hi Abby
I feel bad for you. You must be soooo frightend. You should really try and talk to your parents about your brother seeing a psychiatrist. Explain that God can help but along with meds. It sounds he might have a phychotic disorder. Like schizophrenia with depression. I'm not a doctor but there is definately something wrong. He must be so scared. I'm surprised when the ambulance took him in there wasn't a conseltation with a psychiatrist. I'm thinking of you. fill us in and let us know what's going on. Remember anytime your scared or want someone to talk to we are here for you.

"you only have one chance to make a first impression"

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Default Jan 10, 2005 at 01:34 PM
  #12
Abby, I have been thinking a lot about you and your brother. I hope things are better for you and your family now.

I don't understand how religion forbids medication. Maybe you can tell your mother that God gave people brains and the inspiration to understand illness and create medications? Just a thought.
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Default Jan 10, 2005 at 06:09 PM
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Abby, could your parents be approached by gently reminding them that God gives us the intelligence to help one another and that is what a psychiatrist would be doing. Using his gifts that God gave him. I know I have a family member like this and that is how I talked her into seeing someone. I'm kinda leaning towards a trauma of some kind also. Was he close to anyone that might have hurt him, either emotionally or physically? I definitely feel that he's depressed. I know the feelings that he described. I hope that he gets help and that everything goes well for him and for you. Please keep us posted on his progress. Pat
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