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88Butterfly88
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Default Jul 08, 2017 at 04:09 PM
  #61
Hugs shattered and fuzzy.

I had a whole bag of rice bites today.
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Default Jul 10, 2017 at 09:12 AM
  #62
I have only eaten my breakfast today so far

but for dinner I am having fries.

not sure I should be entirely pleased with that (because I had fries every day last week), but I am, and it's what I like, so.
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Default Jul 10, 2017 at 10:51 AM
  #63
I was snacking all evening last night. My mom says I should watch the show called My 600 LB Life and maybe that will change me. But I just can't stop eating, I just can't. No one understands.
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Default Jul 10, 2017 at 12:42 PM
  #64
I feel too depressed to eat this evening.

I always forget depression can make you feel that way.

but yep. it can
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Default Jul 11, 2017 at 08:42 AM
  #65
I ate a whole bag of candy yesterday. I tried to put the candy in the other room to stop myself but I kept going back for more.
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Default Jul 12, 2017 at 09:31 PM
  #66
why am I so out of control???
Why do I eat my emotions?
why can't I just stop eating once I feel full?
why does food control me?

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Default Jul 13, 2017 at 07:33 AM
  #67
Quote:
Originally Posted by Standup2me View Post
why am I so out of control???
Why do I eat my emotions?
why can't I just stop eating once I feel full?
why does food control me?


questions a lot of us here ask ourselves

what I don't get especially, is that I actually hate food and if their was something I could do to survive that does not include food, I would do it in sted.

still eat food anyway

massive contridiction
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Default Jul 13, 2017 at 08:47 PM
  #68
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Originally Posted by shattered sanity View Post
questions a lot of us here ask ourselves

what I don't get especially, is that I actually hate food and if their was something I could do to survive that does not include food, I would do it in sted.

still eat food anyway

massive contridiction
Is food love to us?
Do we equate food with love? (oh did you scrape your knee? here's a candy)
We can't live without it, so in some ways it controls us

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Default Jul 15, 2017 at 05:11 AM
  #69
yesterday I pigged out on french fries

oink oink

I'm such a pig
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Default Jul 15, 2017 at 08:59 PM
  #70
Is it appropriate for me to post my own eating check in goals on this thread and post regularly or should I start my own thread don't wanna take yours over.

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Default Jul 17, 2017 at 11:59 PM
  #71
I've been binge free since about April 10. I've lost 19lbs. But tonight I kind of just lost it. I HAD to have some refined sugar. It's funny because those cravings had gone away entirely, but I had to have something with refined sugar in it. So since it's after midnight, I drive over to the gas station and get two zebra cakes, this birthday cake thing that is a rice crispy treat, and a barq's root beer. I also got two bananas and an apple and some raw nuts for tomorrow since I'm holding off on going to the grocery store until after my trip, and I leave on Wednesday.

Anyways, I already had a high calorie day, but I'm actually proud of myself in how I handled the binge. Instead of drinking the whole bottle of root beer, I had one cup. I sliced off one serving size of the birthday rice crispy cake, and I haven't touched the zebra cakes yet, but they may both disappear.

This feels different than past binges where it was every day and in secret...this is, I have a craving, I'm going through some crap right now, so I'm allowing myself a high calorie day. Tomorrow I'm cutting back a bit to make up for it and getting some extra exercise in to even out.

Part of me worries this is some kind of relapse, but I know that it's not or that it doesn't have to be. 16 more pounds and I'll have met my first goal...I'm seeing that one pound that will get me to 20lbs down off this week. I'm hoping to get lots of hiking and yoga done while in the mountains this coming week. It will be nice to just take a break.

I have to figure out sleeping arrangements though because if I have to sleep on their pull out sofa thing, I'm going to go crazy.

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Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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Default Jul 20, 2017 at 10:46 AM
  #72
contains numbers
Possible trigger:
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Default Sep 01, 2017 at 11:54 AM
  #73
despite having a vomiting bug the last couple of weeks, I have not been put off binging on everything from potato chips to chocolate.

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not really sure if that makes it good or bad

eating with a vomit bug... never really thought about it
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Default Sep 08, 2017 at 03:42 AM
  #74
I really really need to cut down on the treats (I know, I always say it..)

but this week alone

3 KG of dolly mixtures

1 KG of fizzy watermellons

60 pack of monster munch

it's ****ing shameful, I know.

but I can't help it.
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Default Sep 16, 2017 at 10:52 AM
  #75
things haven't improved much
ordered more of the chips and the candy, and despite trying to eat more proper meals, it's just not working.

i'll cook myself for example a nice chicken pie, then go spoil it with 20 30 packets of chips.

I need self control.

I don't have self control
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Default Sep 17, 2017 at 08:28 AM
  #76
sitting here eating chips.

but I think it's because I know my dinner's going to be small, so this time I actually have a reason... to fill myself up (even if it is with junk)
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Default Sep 18, 2017 at 03:35 PM
  #77
not been a bad day.

had some marmite on toast for breakfast, virtually no snacks in the morning, and then for dinner I had turkey dinosaurs- and a couple packets of monster munch

but it's okay.. it was only like 2
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Default Sep 19, 2017 at 10:47 AM
  #78
eaten loads of rubbish this afternoon.

loads

ug...
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Default Sep 23, 2017 at 04:52 AM
  #79
not done much better.

not just with the overeating, but with meal choices too... I've had sausages and chips now for 4 nights in a row

and of course, I just completed my grocery shop, all junfood- all of it

(accept for a little bottle of black currant squash)
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Default Sep 23, 2017 at 04:55 AM
  #80
to be fair I've not had any takeout meals this week.

that's a good thing because I am trying to cut down on those
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