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Newly Joined
Member Since Feb 2018
Location: New York
Posts: 2
6 |
#1
Look in the mirror...can't believe how fat I've become. Go to the kitchen and eat the worst thing for me. Start to eat healthy. Make it through 1/2 the first day before I feel deprived and need to eat cookies or sweets or anything. Maybe make it a whole day or two, feel better about myself and give myself a treat or two. Or, decide I want to start to eat healthy and find myself at McDonalds eating a large fry and big mac.
I love my food, but there is so much more behind this than that. I feel as though food is my only real enjoyment. It soothes me, I enjoy the flavors in my mouth, I taste everything and think about it when it's no where near me. I lost much of my emotional ups and downs and sexuality after having a total hysterectomy 5 years ago. Food has now become what my sexual desire used to be. It gives me a pleasure I can't get any other way. I don't know how to fix this. Every time I am determined to stop eating all the junk and get in better shape, I get nervous feeling like I will never get to enjoy anything again. |
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K2TOG, shezbut, Skeezyks
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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#2
I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time with this. Here are links to a bunch of articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that may be of some interest:
https://psychcentral.com/disorders/e...ting-disorder/ https://blogs.psychcentral.com/weigh...-ellen-shuman/ https://blogs.psychcentral.com/weigh...shuman-part-2/ https://blogs.psychcentral.com/weigh...imia-recovery/ https://blogs.psychcentral.com/weigh...omment-page-1/ https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-i-c...ting-disorder/ https://psychcentral.com/disorders/e...isorder/?all=1 https://blogs.psychcentral.com/weigh...s-of-recovery/ I wish you well... __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Human
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,346
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#3
Quote:
There is a book "50 ways to soothe yourself without food." The techniques in it I could take or leave, but what I found interesting is that she outlines all the different ways and coping mechanisms we create using foods. It's not a simple as you use food for comfort. There are different kinds of emotional eating and how we go about it. And understanding those different kinds of emotion driven eating helped me to understand what I was doing. Seesaw __________________ What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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shezbut
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Junior Member
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: ca
Posts: 14
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#4
It's been an endless cycle for 45 years for me....:-( I believe I binge to become numb and to make myself unattractive (fat) because relationships scare me. Ive been married three times and engaged another time and have a current boyfriend (who unfortunately places a huge amount of focus on women and their weight. When he met me I was 100 pounds. Not I am binging to have gained weight. He tells me "WE" need to start working out again,
"WE" need to start eating healthy. I also eat to become numb because life (job, kids moved out etc) is sooooooo boring that I was to get out of the daily grind so I binge out and then have something to focus on to mix it up...... Sometimes the food I'm binging on gives me no satisfaction and I don't know why I keep doing it over and over again. |
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shezbut
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seesaw
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