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Old 10-02-2015, 08:53 AM #11
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Default Re: paranoia - psychosis?

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Originally Posted by solita1 View Post
Hi, thanks for posting and Im sorry you are suffering like this. In my case I have never been suspicious of my gf..just random people and 'secret societies sending me secret messages that they are 'out to get me'. I have a lot of insight but sometimes my mind gets carried away, like yours.

Do you generally believe that you wife (who obv knows you have mental health issues) would go out of her way to flirt with people around you - as in deliberately make you paranoid etc? It is very very very unlikely that anyone would do that. Most people who have affairs make sure they do it in secret and wouldnt actively flirt in from of their partner. What does she say when you confront her? It must be difficult for her to always be accused and could be causing strain on your relationship.
Hi, Thanks for your reply.

I wonder if the paranoia can manifest itself in different ways?

She gets upset when I confront her and says she would never cheat on me and loves me.
I get so "paranoid" though and don't speak to her for days and even feel scared and repulsed by her as I feel she's going to hurt me. I've tried CBT when im at my worst but it doesn't help, the thought and feeling is so persistent and strong. I'm anorexic also and most of the time I'm eating very little which I think also doesn't help. I know delusions of jealousy are one of the symptoms of psychosis but I have some sort of insight that I might be Ill so I'm not sure. The other thing that concerns me is that one of my siblings has schizophrenia and has extreme delusions with absolutely no insight and I feel like I could become like that.
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Old 12-06-2015, 05:58 AM #12
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Default Re: paranoia - psychosis?

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Hi Im John, 28. After reading this forum I decided to sign up. I think my issue is more paranoia than anxiety but they are definitely related. I am normally a sociable person, have friends etc but since the age of about 19 ive had paranoia come and go. In the past few years it has got pretty bad. Basically it started with thinking my workmates were trying to get me sacked, stupid things like that, then thinking people didnt like me, it gradually snowbaled over the past 3 years to the stage where I am suspicious of everything. Not my family/gf. I dont think she is cheating or anything..but my issue is with strangers or when strange things happen. I think they are directly related to me and and think strangers are sending some kind of secret code.

Obviously I know this is ridiculious so I have some insight at least but I cant really stop it. Now when I go out I am always anxious waiting for something to happen then I cant stop thinking about it.

An example would be something like someone might be waving to someone in the distance and I will think they are waving to me even though I dont know the person. I think they are trying to send some kind of secret message that they are out to get me. I know this sounds ridiculous but writing it helps.

For the past 6 months or so Ive been noticing people changing direction on the street a lot, be it people or cars (going one way then suddenly going back the other way) when I approach and I have gotten it into my head that this is all some kind of secret message meant only for me. That there are 1000s of people involved in doing things like this as they know it will make me think about it over and over.

Last night for example I saw a man walk up the street while scratching his back. To me this was very suspicious. 10 mins later he walked back down the street scratching his back again. To me this was very 'suspicious' like the back scratching is some kind of secret signal meant only for me - some kind of threat. This is why going out in public makes me anxious.

To my gf and friends etc I am very sociable etc but if we are out and i see something it destroys my whole day and I'm basically acting to my friends as if I am having a good time.

Other examples are thinking my phone is tapped, people spying, following. I can be suspicious of anyone, people wearing sunglasses, people looking in my direction.

In the cold light of day I know this is all ridiculous. I have been doing meditation and I am very interested in spirituality and I think it is helping. I have been to the doctors twice but it was no use really. The meds actually made the paranoia/anxierty worse.

Basically Im writing just to see if anyone has any similar experiences. I know that I am not that important for some kind of secret society to be monitoring me or that Im in something like the truman show - but a lot of the time that is how it feels. I am still able to get on with my life it is just inside it kills me. Some days are better than others but I need this to stop and Im hoping to speak to some people here with similar experiences as I think thatll help greatly. As Ive said, I know all of this is ridiculous so having insight is a good sign - as Im typing this I realise how crazy all this sounds but 12 hours ago I was anxious and paranoid.

Sometimes I think people break into the house when I am out to move things around - with the aim of deliberately making me question things and trying to run me down mentally.

Anyone out there experienced any of this, even a tiny part of it?

Thanks for reading and I know I should see a doctor again but Id really just like to see if others have experienced any or many of these symptoms and coping strategies.

This is a great forum. Thanks again.
I'm paranoid as f**k too. I think people are out to get me, and perhaps some of them are. I dunno. What I like to do is sit around for hours and watch YOUtube videos of conspiracy theories (illuminati, aliens, ghosts, demons). It doesn't help, in fact, it makes things a bit worse.. but for some reason I enjoy torturing myself. I don't recommend doing it.
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Old 12-11-2015, 07:33 AM #13
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Default Re: paranoia - psychosis?

Do you have insight though? Do you know the way you are thinking isnt right? I have lots of insight, just need to learn to control my thoughts.
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Old 12-12-2015, 09:54 AM #14
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Default Re: paranoia - psychosis?

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Originally Posted by solita1 View Post
Do you have insight though? Do you know the way you are thinking isnt right? I have lots of insight, just need to learn to control my thoughts.
Have you considered Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? That's good for wanting to control and even change your thoughts around.
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Old 12-17-2015, 04:20 PM #15
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Default Re: paranoia - psychosis?

That you have insight into the paranoia to me indicates that it's anxiety-based and not psychosis-based. Psychosis is actually a symptom that can manifest in a wide variety ways, and it can come from anxiety, trauma, sleep-deprivation, mental illnesses like bipolar or schizophrenia, drugs, etc. Even flashbacks with PTSD are a form of psychosis.

After all I have read and experienced, I think that when psychosis is coming from a mental illness, in the vast majority of cases, the person will not have insight, and their moments of clarity will be very limited (if they exist at all).

But when psychosis (delusions and hallucinations) are coming from anxiety, trauma, etc that often a person will have insight and be able to talk themselves through it, even though it's still life-disrupting and stressful.

For me anxiety can easily trigger mild psychosis, especially if the anxiety is causing sleep problems. I recently had a crap-ton of anxiety at work, and at one point a coworker addressed me, and when I looked up, his eyes were completely black and his face was distorted. It was a very brief moment, and afterwards I was immediately able to write it off in mind as not real.

So rather than it being a psychosis-based issue, it's more so an anxiety-based issue that can lead to psychosis as a secondary symptom. My best guess is that you would probably benefit more from psychotherapy than psychiatric medication, maybe save for something for anxiety to help you initially.
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Old 12-17-2015, 04:50 PM #16
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Default Re: paranoia - psychosis?

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Originally Posted by solita1 View Post
Anyone out there experienced any of this, even a tiny part of it?

Thanks for reading and I know I should see a doctor again but Id really just like to see if others have experienced any or many of these symptoms and coping strategies.
A lot of the things you mentioned resonated with me, as I've had crippling problems with anxiety and paranoia in the past. Thankfully right now I'm on medications that seem to be working and I have improved … I hope it will stay that way.

As far as coping strategies, one thing I used to do was tell myself little stories or make up scenarios that helped me feel more peaceful in a stressful situation. Or I would listen to music or podcasts during the times I had to be out and about, like grocery shopping. It helped drown out some of the craziness in my head. Or wearing sunglasses. For some reason that helped me feel a wall of separation from the world and I felt more secure.
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Old 12-17-2015, 06:36 PM #17
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Default Re: paranoia - psychosis?

i can relate too. anxiety and pshycosis for me. i try using music or relaxation tapes and cds which help tremendously. good luck
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Old 12-18-2015, 08:07 AM #18
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Default Re: paranoia - psychosis?

hi, thanks for the replies. I really appreciate them. It is possible that my paranoia is linked to anxiety, I had never really thought about that. Obviously I know the chances of there being some kind of secret society out to get me is very highly unlikely but sometimes my mind cant stop seeing patterns in people's behaviour.

Today for example I was at a cafe and a guy cross the road with an ipad in his hand, he wasnt looking at it though, he had it tilted sideways so the screen was facing me. As soon as I saw this my mind started thinking that he was recording me, that he was holding it that way to record me from a distance. However, normally with an ipad to record you need to use the other side with the camera, however I kept thinking he was holding it like that the record me, and then he looked in my direction which further confirmed this. In the moment when things like this happen I think everything is a set up but obviously as I type this I know it isnt likely, but it is still something nagging in my mind.

Is this anxiety or paranoia? Everyday there are thinkgs like this which my mind reads into and gets carried away. Deep down though I know it it probably isnt true. I might have some form of OCD too, as a child I had some weird behaviours.

Constantly seeing threats in things might be linked to when I was a teenager and was beaten up, I also used to get people phoning me telling me they were gona beat me up, just teenagers being stupid but I used to worry a lot then and it may be the reason why I get paranoid now.

Obviously the paranoia affects my life but I have held down jobs, studies, relationships and people like to be around me. I am not suspicious of anyone close to me - just strangers. I also used to think my phone was tapped.
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Old 12-23-2015, 02:09 AM #19
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Thinking of you *hugs*
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Old 12-24-2015, 05:58 PM #20
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Default Re: paranoia - psychosis?

Your paranoia sounds exactly like mine. When I'm paranoid, I believe that people are talking about me everywhere I go, that somehow everyone knows someone who knows me and what a bad person I am. I once went to a restaurant to celebrate my boyfriend's birthday. We were waiting for our table and had a seat at the bar and ordered coffee. The bar was pretty packed and I kept thinking that everyone around us was judging us for taking up a seat at the bar just to drink coffee. When we sat at our table, I kept hearing voices from the bar of people complaining about us, which of course was not true. I couldn't handle it. Before we had the chance to put an order in, I had to get up and leave.

I would do this a lot. I used to think that people were spying on me and had put pinhole cameras and microphones in my walls so I went around and inspected all the tiny holes in my apartment and filled them with putty. I though that my phone was bugged by someone I had gone on a date with that ended badly and that he could listen in on anything I was doing through the phone, whether I was using it or not. I used to leave my phone in my glove box when I would go to therapy because I didn't want him to hear what I was saying. Eventually I went to the store and got a new phone and changed my phone number.

I have a million stories about my paranoia, I could go on and on about it. What I find so interesting about it is the way my brain was able to create these connections between things that to a clear minded person weren't connected but to me and even to some of my friends that I would talk to about it, seemed convincing. The only thing that has helped me with my paranoia is to take an antipsychotic. I've been diagnosed with bipolar 1, whether that's true or not I don't know but the medication that I take treats my symptoms very well. I went off my meds for a period of time when I thought I could live without them and I did okay for a awhile but the paranoia snuck up on me and came back without my even realizing it till I became so paranoid that people at work were conspiring against me that I packed up my stuff and just didn't show up for work. I went back on my meds and kept my job. I know I'll have to be on my meds in order to function normally in society and I'm lucky that they work and enable me to do that. I would encourage you to talk to a doctor about how you're feeling.
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