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Old 08-02-2015, 10:24 AM #1
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Default paranoia - psychosis?

Hi Im John, 28. After reading this forum I decided to sign up. I think my issue is more paranoia than anxiety but they are definitely related. I am normally a sociable person, have friends etc but since the age of about 19 ive had paranoia come and go. In the past few years it has got pretty bad. Basically it started with thinking my workmates were trying to get me sacked, stupid things like that, then thinking people didnt like me, it gradually snowbaled over the past 3 years to the stage where I am suspicious of everything. Not my family/gf. I dont think she is cheating or anything..but my issue is with strangers or when strange things happen. I think they are directly related to me and and think strangers are sending some kind of secret code.

Obviously I know this is ridiculious so I have some insight at least but I cant really stop it. Now when I go out I am always anxious waiting for something to happen then I cant stop thinking about it.

An example would be something like someone might be waving to someone in the distance and I will think they are waving to me even though I dont know the person. I think they are trying to send some kind of secret message that they are out to get me. I know this sounds ridiculous but writing it helps.

For the past 6 months or so Ive been noticing people changing direction on the street a lot, be it people or cars (going one way then suddenly going back the other way) when I approach and I have gotten it into my head that this is all some kind of secret message meant only for me. That there are 1000s of people involved in doing things like this as they know it will make me think about it over and over.

Last night for example I saw a man walk up the street while scratching his back. To me this was very suspicious. 10 mins later he walked back down the street scratching his back again. To me this was very 'suspicious' like the back scratching is some kind of secret signal meant only for me - some kind of threat. This is why going out in public makes me anxious.

To my gf and friends etc I am very sociable etc but if we are out and i see something it destroys my whole day and I'm basically acting to my friends as if I am having a good time.

Other examples are thinking my phone is tapped, people spying, following. I can be suspicious of anyone, people wearing sunglasses, people looking in my direction.

In the cold light of day I know this is all ridiculous. I have been doing meditation and I am very interested in spirituality and I think it is helping. I have been to the doctors twice but it was no use really. The meds actually made the paranoia/anxierty worse.

Basically Im writing just to see if anyone has any similar experiences. I know that I am not that important for some kind of secret society to be monitoring me or that Im in something like the truman show - but a lot of the time that is how it feels. I am still able to get on with my life it is just inside it kills me. Some days are better than others but I need this to stop and Im hoping to speak to some people here with similar experiences as I think thatll help greatly. As Ive said, I know all of this is ridiculous so having insight is a good sign - as Im typing this I realise how crazy all this sounds but 12 hours ago I was anxious and paranoid.

Sometimes I think people break into the house when I am out to move things around - with the aim of deliberately making me question things and trying to run me down mentally.

Anyone out there experienced any of this, even a tiny part of it?

Thanks for reading and I know I should see a doctor again but Id really just like to see if others have experienced any or many of these symptoms and coping strategies.

This is a great forum. Thanks again.
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Old 08-02-2015, 05:52 PM #2
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Default Re: paranoia - psychosis?

Hi solita1. Welcome to Psych Central (PC). I am sorry you are having social anxiety and possibly other issues. Part of that can be as a result of previous traumas. What kind of therapeutic options are you considering can affect how fast you get over this or cope with it better.

PC has helped me meet people that understand and accept me the way I am. Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems though still there are more manageable.

There are lots of compassionate people here that can make the load lighter by sharing and caring. Feel free to participate actively at Psych Central. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.
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Old 08-03-2015, 12:17 PM #3
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Default Re: paranoia - psychosis?

Hi thanks a lot for your reply. I will definitely be using the forums as much as I can. I think that writing down my feelings/experiences will help me as well as others I hope. Thanks again and speak soon.
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Old 08-05-2015, 08:53 AM #4
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Default Re: paranoia - psychosis?

Hi John, welcome to PC!

I thoroughly read your post and I related to all of it, literally. I've had those feelings of paranoia, "signs" from people on the street, people trying to sabotage my work, even my life. Secret society, the whole bit.

That's good you have insight and I know how troubling it can feel.

For me, these are symptoms of psychosis due to delusions. I occasionally have these symptoms as part of my bipolar disorder 1, when I am under extreme stress for a long time. Antipsychotic medication clears it up quickly, the paranoia. I also have a lot of anxiety on a daily basis.

You're not alone and I'm glad you're here! PM me if you ever want to vent.
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Old 09-02-2015, 09:48 PM #5
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Default Re: paranoia - psychosis?

This is me to im terrified to go out with friends all my friends think im bailing out on them because i dont want to be out with them buts its because im scared someone is going to kill me or someone is going to fight me .. always was scared of that why i never went out anymore
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Old 09-03-2015, 01:09 PM #6
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Default Re: paranoia - psychosis?

I understand what you're saying. Because I used to drink heavily, I started to develop paranoia that I didn't have before that. I always had ADD, some OCD, paranoid personality disorder, borderline personality I've got in control and generalized anxiety. Since I quit drinking the past 2 years I have had horrible bouts of paranoia and anxiety and pick at myself as a way to find relief.
I've tried different meds recently but now am going to try 100mg luvox cr for awhile because it's getting bad again. I'm sensitive to meds and can't handle certain things to it's trial and error. My issues are thinking superiors at work are out to get me fired or cause me trouble for no reason..that someone will try to hurt me etc etc..hate it
hang in there
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Old 09-08-2015, 12:28 PM #7
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Default Re: paranoia - psychosis?

Hi, Sorry to hear you have been suffering too. Shaneomac12 - do you get this feeling after drinking? I used to get really paranoid after drinking and during drinking. If someone said something to me I would read too much into it and get paranoid.

Natalie- i used to also think that people at work wanted me fired. They definitely didnt. My paranoia snowballed into being suspicious of nearly all strangers. Now when I look back on my paranoia in the work place I laugh as I know I was being stupid. I just need to deal with the paranoia of strangers, hopefully one day I can look back and laugh.

Try meditation. It definitely has some benefits.

thanks and be safe.
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Old 09-27-2015, 03:02 PM #8
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Default Re: paranoia - psychosis?

I experienced something like this. Most notably, I was responding to faces with unusual emotionality that I couldn't control. While exercise didn't correct it, I would start reading the faces in a more positive way after long exercise.
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Old 10-01-2015, 08:46 AM #9
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Default Re: paranoia - psychosis?

Hi everyone, just thought I'd ask a few questions here as I can relate to a lot of what people are saying.

I have became totally paranoid that my wife is cheating on me, it's constant. I see "flirting" in every interaction she has with men, at times I don't talk to her for days because i think she flirted with someone in a shop or once a boyfriend of her best friend. I also am quite paranoid that people in general will hurt or eventually hurt me. After a breakdown 3 years ago, I haven't worked and have depression and other mental health problems. I am a recluse now and rarely talk to people.

My psychiatrist thinks I have social anxiety, general anxiety,ocd thinking and low self esteem but I think he's missing something as he's prescribing higher and higher doses of anti depressants which are doing nothing to help.

I understand that to have psychosis and delusions you don't have insight but I can see my thoughts *might* be irrational but I don't know if they are or not, what if my thoughts actually are true? They're all consuming and are enough to keep me away from all people and constantly suspicious of my wife which is a horrible,horrible way to live :-(
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Old 10-02-2015, 06:03 AM #10
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Default Re: paranoia - psychosis?

Hi, thanks for posting and Im sorry you are suffering like this. In my case I have never been suspicious of my gf..just random people and 'secret societies sending me secret messages that they are 'out to get me'. I have a lot of insight but sometimes my mind gets carried away, like yours.

Do you generally believe that you wife (who obv knows you have mental health issues) would go out of her way to flirt with people around you - as in deliberately make you paranoid etc? It is very very very unlikely that anyone would do that. Most people who have affairs make sure they do it in secret and wouldnt actively flirt in from of their partner. What does she say when you confront her? It must be difficult for her to always be accused and could be causing strain on your relationship.
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