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Member
Member Since Aug 2018
Location: Denver
Posts: 41
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Aug 10, 2018 at 08:34 PM
#1
My husband is so depressed and I feel like I do a good job taking care of him emotionally, but when I need him to take care of me in any way even emotionally he acts like I am putting him out. He didn't used to be this way before he got sick. I don't know how to help someone that doesn't seem to want to have any empathy for anyone else. For lack of a better description it is like he wants to be stuck and selfish and expects everyone else to just deal with it...sigh. Suggestions of how to make our relationship equal again would be great! We are in couples counseling, but the therapist just moved our appointment till September 6th!
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 Fuzzybear, Travelinglady
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 47,950
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Aug 10, 2018 at 10:13 PM
#2
 Dealing with a depressed person is hard. Not only do we have to put up with their not getting out of bed, but there's also more chores to take on. No wonder you're exhausted. My husband is bipolar, so I understand.Is he taking medicine for it? See a therapist? Really that's what he needs. |
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| Fuzzybear
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
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Oct 02, 2018 at 04:36 PM
#3
Hi, other than therapy etc.. posting here might help
 I’m sending positive vibes to you both
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Junior Member
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Denver
Posts: 20
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Oct 24, 2018 at 03:56 PM
#4
I've come to terms with the fact that my SO may *never* be able to satisfy my emotional needs. If you feel like it ever comes to this, you *must* set your boundaries and expectations with him up front.
I try to remind myself of this fact: when I entered into an agreement (marriage) with my SO, none of that dictated I become a licensed medical caregiver. "in sickness and in health" is not that same as "You will become a licensed psychiatrist/psychologist". It takes a degree and many years of professional experience to be able to handle clinical depression. Don't mistake that for your obligations to care for him when he has the flu. Remember: it is OK to tap out and give yourself a life that you deserve, unencumbered by his depression. Stick that therapy out...but keep an internal clock running, and set a deadline for yourself. If there is no progress, you *can* pull the plug. You only have one life, and you deserve to live it! |
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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