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Default Aug 24, 2018 at 09:44 PM
  #1
I'm scared of what will happen to my mother, the way she is acting and her delusional talks have increased a lot in intensity over the past few weeks.

She talks of certain signs and signals she can understand, that I can't. She says she can hear our neighbours (or any other people from her past) talk to her mentally. She becomes quite agitated and scared and confused all at the same time.

We've gone through a lot of problems together from my childhood, since she was a single parent. Now I think she has gone off her rocker, so to say. She thinks everybody is an enemy and everybody is using witchcraft to do bad things to us.

Recently she has convinced herself that she is going to face a horrible accident and massive blood loss. She tells me that one of our neighbours told her this in her head.

At it doesn't stop at that. She frequently shouts herself hoarse at any person in the neighbourhood, saying bad things.

Unsurprisingly, I get face everything and have become completely depressed. I'm not able to do work, just keep on reading books because there's nothing else to do.
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Default Aug 25, 2018 at 10:25 AM
  #2
How old is your mom? Could she have the beginnings of alzheimers.....or possibly a brain tumor or is she on any prescribed meds that might have this as a side effect since you said it has come on in the last few weeks. Look back at what might have changed in her life right around that time.

Has she ever been this way before? Otherwise it is probably something in her life or health causing it.

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Default Aug 25, 2018 at 11:13 AM
  #3
Perhaps you can bring her to a doctor?
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Default Aug 25, 2018 at 10:45 PM
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Definitely sounds like it could be dementia or alzheimer's. The problem would be getting her into a doc to get it diagnosed. A lot of people resist going in for such a thing because they know it will mean losing freedoms they would have without a diagnosis. (I work in the field and see this on occasion.) You may need to "trick" her into going, say you're concerned about something physical or that it's just a routine checkup. Seems bad, but a lot of dealing with older folks is tricking them into doing things that are good for them.

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Default Aug 26, 2018 at 01:13 AM
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Seems bad, but a lot of dealing with older folks is tricking them into doing things that are good for them.
exactly what I had to do with my grandma. My mom had too many emotional issues to be able to do it

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Default Aug 26, 2018 at 01:30 AM
  #6
Hi nj_hi, How old is your mom?
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Default Aug 26, 2018 at 01:36 AM
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Originally Posted by eskielover View Post
exactly what I had to do with my grandma. My mom had too many emotional issues to be able to do it
Aye, I work as a caregiver for old folks in their homes (rarely younger disabled folks as well). It's quite the drain sometimes, they can be awfully difficult... It helps to remember that it's (usually) not their fault, it's their cognitive health that is making them act the way they do. I'm surprised with my issues that I can manage it, but I like caring for people, it's a sort of therapy for me... Makes me feel useful or something. Very rarely have my issues made my job too hard for me - only when clients were outright mean or their environment was horrible did it push me too far.

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Default Sep 03, 2018 at 06:59 AM
  #8
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Definitely sounds like it could be dementia or alzheimer's. The problem would be getting her into a doc to get it diagnosed. A lot of people resist going in for such a thing because they know it will mean losing freedoms they would have without a diagnosis. (I work in the field and see this on occasion.) You may need to "trick" her into going, say you're concerned about something physical or that it's just a routine checkup. Seems bad, but a lot of dealing with older folks is tricking them into doing things that are good for them.
You have hit the nail on the head. She won't go to any doctor. I tried already in vain. A bigger problem is that, she is so smart and intuitive and "fooling" or "tricking" her doesn't work in ANY way. She is so much of a quick thinker when I see her in the eyes it seems as if she can read what I'm thinking, almost exactly.

A more major problem is, I'm from India, and psych help centres here, mostly, are just *****. They treat people like animals in the governmental centres. I can't bear to take her there. The private ones are so costly I can't afford them.

So, taking her to a doctor is a no go.

And she's getting madder day by day. She has become overly spiritual. She almost forces me to do spiritual things because she things something will happen to me or her. I fight sometimes a bit with her, because when I don't agree, she starts making me mad by disturbing me all day, not allowing me to do work, using bad language.

I am literally fed up of her. There is just one bit inside me that says that this is the person who brought me up alone, educated me, fed me food by working hard, and I need to help her in any way I can.
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Default Sep 03, 2018 at 07:12 AM
  #9
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Originally Posted by eskielover View Post
How old is your mom? Could she have the beginnings of alzheimers.....or possibly a brain tumor or is she on any prescribed meds that might have this as a side effect since you said it has come on in the last few weeks. Look back at what might have changed in her life right around that time.

Has she ever been this way before? Otherwise it is probably something in her life or health causing it.
I believe that it is her struggles that made her like this. The loneliness. She wanted to get married to good person after my father showed his true colors. She couldn't find any one. Mainly because she was very shy, did not have a job and only interacted with family members and her lady friends. It seems she was living in some kind of a dream, that, one day, everything will be alright. Even I can't bear to think of the old times, but I've moved on like I've got a career as a web developer. I even try to teach her things, so she can begin some earning and feel good about it, but it is very difficult to teach her.

She gets distracted by the small noises. Doesn't let me make any friends. Doesn't let me be out of the house for more than half an hour. Doesn't make food regularly (we don't eat food too much outside its costly). Doesn't let me work in peace. Has nothing productive to do. The list goes on...... and on.... and on.... and I don't know the difference between living and being dead. I am now almost always wishing that either she could die (because she doesn't live and doesn't let me live) and the pain could end, or I could die and the pain could end (although who will support her if I'm not there?? The so called "family" system of India is ****, people pretend to be like a good family but hate each other so much they can let each other die hungry)
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Default Sep 03, 2018 at 07:14 AM
  #10
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Hi nj_hi, How old is your mom?
She is now 50 years old. And, would be better to add, about 30 years alone (except for me).
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Default Sep 03, 2018 at 07:16 AM
  #11
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Perhaps you can bring her to a doctor?
I could, and I think I should, but I can't find any nice, reliable and affordable doctor. And the bigger problem, as I pointed out above in a reply, is that she doesn't want to go. She would never go. She can see through tricks like she had pHd degree in it. She is extremely smart, but acts totally dumb all the time.

One part of me loves her, the other hates her for being so.
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Default Sep 03, 2018 at 07:21 AM
  #12
She is starting to have some small health issues also. I notice she does not sleep consistently. Only sometimes she gets a good long sleep. She has started experiencing a problem in which she urinates a bit when she coughs hard.

She thinks the problem is because of people doing woodoo magic on her. I don't have enough courage to explain her that it's not that. She fights like a wild person if I try to, because. In the end, I always have to agree with her on everything so that she keeps quit.

Since she's not going to go to doctors or take any prescription medicines, I've searched some home remedies on the internet and I make her do those, at least some she does follow. Doing some yoga has helped her, I force her to do yoga twice a day so that her mind and body can become better.
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Default Sep 03, 2018 at 07:28 AM
  #13
I didn't check the thread earlier, since I didn't expect much replies, frankly. I'm very thankful for all the replies.
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Default Sep 05, 2018 at 06:01 AM
  #14
Hmm, only 50 means that if it is what I suspected then it would be early onset, so less likely, but still possible. It's possible she's just paranoid and delusional. (I say "just" these things, but they're still a problem.) Problem is of course that if she's unwilling to get help then there's not much you can do about it. I wonder if there's any way you can sit her down and talk to her seriously about this? Tell her how it's affecting you and that you're really concerned for her health. She's got a lot of years left probably, and it's so unfair of her to be doing this to you. You need to live your life too. I hope you can find a way to get some peace.

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Default Sep 05, 2018 at 03:18 PM
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Hmm, only 50 means that if it is what I suspected then it would be early onset, so less likely, but still possible. It's possible she's just paranoid and delusional. (I say "just" these things, but they're still a problem.) Problem is of course that if she's unwilling to get help then there's not much you can do about it. I wonder if there's any way you can sit her down and talk to her seriously about this? Tell her how it's affecting you and that you're really concerned for her health. She's got a lot of years left probably, and it's so unfair of her to be doing this to you. You need to live your life too. I hope you can find a way to get some peace.
I think so too. I've tried hundreds of times, to try and sit her down and talk some sense into her. But it always ends in a fight, because, no matter how calmly I talk, she starts seeing the signs that I'm trying to explain some thing to her, and she won't listen to a word. She just starts fighting like mad whenever i try to talk to her.

Yeah, she does have a lot of years. But I don't think I have. I won't be able to stand this much longer. I've developed an extreme smoking habit of the years, and I've been smoking 3-4 packs a day from the past 2 years or so, and I can feel the adverse effect kicking in. I'm having breathing trouble. I feel tired.

Yesterday, I had gone for 2 hours but came back in 2.5 hrs. She went paranoid. Started shouting like mad, went looking for me. When I came back, she shouted so much and I had already had a bit to drink, I was totally discouraged. Further, she didn't let me sleep. Oh well I thought I was gonna die. Had severe breathing difficult because I had taken some marijuana too. And, when I asked her to call the doctor, because I was not able to breathe, she just refused and went to sleep on her bed, with her back to me. I spent hours trying to take in deep breaths with severe chest pains. Finally I went to sleep and was feeling better in the morning.

You're right. She should not do this to me. But it seems she does this because she doesn't have enough brain energy left to even talk nicely for more than 5 minutes. She is not doing this willingly. She feels bad about it, I can sense it.
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Default Sep 05, 2018 at 03:21 PM
  #16
Today I'm very sad. Very depressed. No hope in my life. I'm 24 at the moment. Going to be 25 in a couple of months. No friends. No person to talk to. Only talk to myself to keep me going. Because, if I stop going, she (my mother) will stop too.

I'm just thinking that I could die a painless death. Not mentally painless, I don't ask for that. I ask for
a physically painless death. Mental pain is a thing that I can bear and I do have the right to be sad. But I don't want the physical pain. I felt it yesterday. It was terrible.

I'm especially sad today, because I met a girl a few days ago, fell in love with her, wanted to be with her. But I know I will never be able to. This is because of the muck I am in. Until I will be able to get out of this muck, it will be too late.

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Default Sep 05, 2018 at 03:25 PM
  #17
Dont think of me as a coward to want to die. Because there is no life left in me. I've been going through this from as far as I can remember. And that's nothing, if there was some hope. But there is no hope. I've drawn mental charts in my mind as to possible ways out of this situation. And, to my surprise, no way has any kind of definite hope in it.

1. She can die. But she won't, and I don't know when.
2. I can die. Well, bye then! Ha!
3. I could earn lots of money and get her into good medical care and could live my life myself, then -> very low chances of earning that kind of money, especially because she does not let me work peacefully. All my clients are always waiting all the time for me to give updates. I only drag myself through it.
4. God helped us -> but God has never been kind to us. Why would he be now? I there any God? I feel God is just human's imagination. An answer to all questions he either can't answer or doesn't want to. So this way is a no go.

Can't think of no other way.
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