[familysize]

anyone out there taking care of husband with health issues?

not me.

but you're posting in the right area- so I'm hoping someone will respond with the information you need

[Raindropvampire]

Yes. My husband has many physical and mental health issues. We've also dealt with addiction and his dependence on his pain meds. He's now in rehab and pain management. You aren't alone. Feel free to reach out here whenever you need to.

[TML8277]

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

Yes. My husband has many physical and mental health issues. We've also dealt with addiction and his dependence on his pain meds. He's now in rehab and pain management. You aren't alone. Feel free to reach out here whenever you need to.

My situation is similar to yours. My husband was diagnosed with Leukemia prior to us getting married. He has fallen into a deep depression, refuses treatment and self-medicates. He is so far gone that he doesn't even live in the house, he sleeps in his truck or in the garage. How have you been able to help your husband without letting what he does hurt you? How do you not take it personally?

[Raindropvampire]

Some days I do take it personally even though I know it's his battle and his choices. Thursday he sees an oncologist to find out if he has cancer. Well they have pretty much said he has it but this will determine what kind. And I know he might choose to not do anything about it. I just accept that he is going to do what he's going to do.

I have made a life without him and live it parallel to the one I live with him. I know he's on borrowed time and I've made peace with that. But I've built up my social circle and go out with friends and get to have time without delaing with his issues. I think that's what allows me to not be so hurt by what he does.

If you ever need to talk I'm here. You can also PM me if you want to.

[TML8277]

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

Some days I do take it personally even though I know it's his battle and his choices. Thursday he sees an oncologist to find out if he has cancer. Well they have pretty much said he has it but this will determine what kind. And I know he might choose to not do anything about it. I just accept that he is going to do what he's going to do.

I have made a life without him and live it parallel to the one I live with him. I know he's on borrowed time and I've made peace with that. But I've built up my social circle and go out with friends and get to have time without delaing with his issues. I think that's what allows me to not be so hurt by what he does.

If you ever need to talk I'm here. You can also PM me if you want to.

I often wonder if things would be different with my husband if I had been there when he was diagnosed. I've done research on his Leukemia, and if he continued treatment he would have a good 20 years. I feel like there is a cloud hanging over our heads... Is he sick from withdraw? Sick b/c he doesn't eat or sleep? Or is he really sick? I look for reasons for him to go to the doctor so they will draw his blood and we can see how his white blood count is. I lean on my friend and on my mom a lot. It hurts his feelings. He says he hates the town that we're in and that's why he can't get back on his feet. He wants to leave and I just can't. We have two kids. I have a great job that takes care of all of us. And my support system is here. I've told him that he can leave. I've told him that he could always come back when he was ready. He won't. I never doubt his love for me. I never doubt his loyalty. But he has scared me a few times. If I could just be free to do what I need to do I think it would be easier to separate myself. Raising my two kids with him just outside seems unbearable sometimes. I raised my son on my own for 8 years before he came along. I swore I would never do it again. Now I am with my son and my two year old daughter, with my husband right outside. Sometimes its all I can to just keep on and sometimes I can't hold it in anymore. The tongue is so hurtful and I've let mine say way too much .