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sadplant
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Member Since: Jul 2013
Posts: 48
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#1
Things have been hard for him at home, he's being pressured to balance single issue out at home while simultaneously being neglected emotionally.
He's also having to deal with verbal abuse from his father because of his situation with university. I can see that it's really taking a toll on him psychologically. My boyfriend is extremely selfless and always does things for others but never talks about his own problems. I try getting him to open up but he just doesn't know how to, which I completely understand. But recently he's started self-harming and constantly jokes about his death. We've had several fights recently and I think he's starting to believe that I don't really care about him either, and that he sees himself as a burden to me. I'm so worried about him, I love him so dearly that I cried so much yesterday thinking about him being all alone, hurting himself like that. I want to be there for him and show him that I do care, so much. But I don't know how. Sometimes I feel like even if I do get him to open up, I say the wrong things. No therapy though, I know he'd never even consider that. And it's not affordable here anyway. Last edited by bluekoi; Sep 11, 2018 at 11:21 AM.. Reason: Add triggger icon. |
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LoudLove, MickeyCheeky, WishfulThinker66
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MickeyCheeky
My echo is the only voice coming back
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#2
I think you'r already doing your best. Just make sure to remember him you love him, be there for him and give support when you can. The choice of opening up or not is up to him - hopefully, if he sees how much you care, he will open up with you.
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WishfulThinker66
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xmascarol
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#3
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WishfulThinker66
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#4
Yep, let him now you both love him and that you are there for him. One thing my own partner does every morning that helps is he asks what can he do that day. It makes me know he is supportive, encouraging, and cares.
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sadplant
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Member Since: Jul 2013
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#5
I have been doing that but every time he does something that hurts me, and I point it out, he gets more and more distant.
He keeps thinking that he messes up everything he touches, including me. And doesn't want to burden me, and I also believe he's finding it hard to trust that I (or anyone) could genuinely care for him. But I really do. I don't want to start hiding my own pain just to comfort him because that wouldn't be healthy. I want to be able to talk about our mistakes but also have trust that we really still love each other despite those mistakes. He can't seem to let his mistakes go. I don't know how to reassure him that his well-being is more important to me that all his errors. |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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#6
I hope not to sound harsh, but that's really up to him. You can only do so much to help, and I think you're already doing anything that it's in your power. He has to do his part as well.. I'd suggest therapy, but you've already said he doesn't want it...
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Anonymous47864
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#7
Sometimes the best you can do for somebody is to give them space to work through things on their own and let them know you’re there when they need them. It takes a great deal of patience and love to stand by in times like this. We can’t fix everything unfortunately... even though we want to. ❤️
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