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Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Las Vegas
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#1
So my husband is a highly emotional person. He is struggles in and off with depression and is generally a sensitive person. For most of our marriage I've been able to help and support him through his mood fluctuation while not taking them on myself but recently I've lost whatever emotional shell I had that protected me from taking on too much. I've been struggling myself lately with anxiety and low levels of depression so when he's feeling depressed my anxiety and depression skyrocket. Neither of us have any real friends or family to turn to for help. I can't talk to him about this since it would just make him feel worse but how am I supposed to help him cope when I'm having trouble coping myself?
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Skeezyks
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#2
Hello Apester: I see this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to PsychCentral. I hope you fnd PC to be of benefit.
Here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that may be of some help. Not all of them address your specific situation. but they all address the topic of being a caregiver: Self-Care for Depression Caregivers Caring for Yourself When You're a Caregiver | Weightless Caring for Yourself When Caregiving Caregiver Burnout: The Importance of Self Care 3 Self-Care Tips While Loving Someone With Depression https://psychcentral.com/blog/caregi...ouse-yourself/ https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...ssion-fatigue/ https://blogs.psychcentral.com/compa...dium=popular17 My best wishes to you both... |
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New Member
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Ohio
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#3
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Junior Member
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Denver
Posts: 20
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#4
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Above all else, you've *got* to work on your own well-being. Some of us hyper-compartmentalize in order to deal, but in the absence of those tactics, being up-front about the situation is really the first step in taking control of it (and your own mental health). Quick story: In the Corporate world (I'm an IT manager for a large company that shall remain nameless), the volume of email we receive is *out-of-control*. I always advise my team to block out their calendar -- literally, open up their calendars, and create events that block out their time -- for lunches, and uninterrupted periods of work. Then, they can dedicate a key piece of their time to catching up on emails, later on, toward the end of the week. I did the exact same thing with my SO: I have blocked out periods of my real-life calendar to get my own S___ together. This time is a non-negotiable; they don't get to invade it. Amid the chaos and manic episodes, there are simply times *I must check-out*. This worked wonders for me. Perhaps its a worth a try? - dedicate fixed times throughout the week that are for *you*. - make it clear to the family these don't budge. - when episodes hit, stop them before they start. "We'll deal with this later, I'm in the middle of something now. I'm not ignoring you, but I'm simply unable to handle this now. We'll chat again at XX:XX o'clock" (structure helps, so give them a specific time). Hope this helps. |
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Blknblu
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