I think my boyfriend suffers from BPD - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 10-01-2018, 06:53 AM #1
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Frown I think my boyfriend suffers from BPD

A year ago yesterday I got engaged only to break it off a month and a half later. Since then we've been on again, off again trying to work things out. One minute he loves and adores me and the next I'm being called evil, being accused of being unfaithful and at times called cruel names. My words get twisted during these episodes to the point where I no longer want to speak up for myself and then almost as unassumingly as these episodes appear they disappear and the person I fell in love returns. I've done a lot of reading and research because I believe he's a good person deep inside and I believe he has borderline personality disorder. I've tried tip toeing around my belief so as to not upset him or cause an episode and to be honest I don't think he realizes something is wrong. I'm writing out of hope someone else has or is experiencing this very thing and can perhaps shed some light. I'm clinging on to hope but it dwindles by the moment as I just don't know how much more I can take. It's heartbreaking.
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Old 10-02-2018, 01:44 PM #2
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Smile Re: I think my boyfriend suffers from BPD

Hello Optimistic: I'm not the member you're looking for here on PC. But I noticed this is your first post & you had not yet been greeted. So... welcome to PsychCentral.

One other forum, here on PC, that may be of interest (& where you might also consider posting with regard to this) would be the relationships & communication forum. Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/rela...communication/

And then here are links to 9 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that hopefully may be of interest. The first 7 are on the subject of BPD. The last two discuss how to persuade a loved one to seek professional help & how to help a loved one who is in denial:

Living with Borderline Personality Disorder

How to Help a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder, Part 1

How to Help a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder, Part 2

Living with & Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...e-personality/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-gift...lity-disorder/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/an-over...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...essional-help/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/11-way...-denial/?all=1

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.
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Old 10-02-2018, 04:33 PM #3
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Old 10-03-2018, 12:10 AM #4
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Default Re: I think my boyfriend suffers from BPD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Optimistic01 View Post
A year ago yesterday I got engaged only to break it off a month and a half later. Since then we've been on again, off again trying to work things out. One minute he loves and adores me and the next I'm being called evil, being accused of being unfaithful and at times called cruel names. My words get twisted during these episodes to the point where I no longer want to speak up for myself and then almost as unassumingly as these episodes appear they disappear and the person I fell in love returns. I've done a lot of reading and research because I believe he's a good person deep inside and I believe he has borderline personality disorder. I've tried tip toeing around my belief so as to not upset him or cause an episode and to be honest I don't think he realizes something is wrong. I'm writing out of hope someone else has or is experiencing this very thing and can perhaps shed some light. I'm clinging on to hope but it dwindles by the moment as I just don't know how much more I can take. It's heartbreaking.
I really feel for you, I have been in your shoes

Unfortunately in the decade or more that we have been together my partner hasn't stopped the 'evil rants' in fact I am beginning to see that what he subjects me to is abuse. He does have spells when it happens less but it also escalates to me being kicked out of our home (His House). There are times when we are happy and he treats me like a princess but he also knows how to hold a grudge something that happened 8 years ago can be thrown in my face like it happened this morning and he can twist things so much so that I find myself apologising for things I haven't done.

I'm not saying don't continue your relationship but think really hard about whether you can deal with his behaviour continuing as it is for potentially the rest of your life.

Take care of yourself
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Last edited by BDPpartner; 10-03-2018 at 02:54 AM.
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