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Junior Member
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 13
5 |
Nov 06, 2018 at 12:31 PM
#1
I'm at my wits end and have no one to reach out to for support. NOTHING works. I've tried being nice and encouraging for months and now I just lose it with him out of frustration. Meanwhile, his mother is out shopping, getting her hair and nails done and will be going out dancing tonight. This is how she spends every one of her days without calling and offering me any support for dealing with her son. All I want to do right now is call and tell her off for being a lousy mother and putting all the burden on me.
I know it sounds like I am complaining, but if I don't vent somewhere I will explode. |
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 Skeezyks, Travelinglady
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
(SuperPoster!)
8 17.4k hugs
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Nov 06, 2018 at 01:18 PM
#2
Thanks for sharing your distress here on PC. My situation is entirely different. But in my own way, I know something about how you feel.
 Unfortunately, as you no doubt realize, you can only change yourself. If your husband can't, or won't, do what he needs to do to heal himself, there's little if anything you or his mother either can do to cause him to want to. At some point, it may simply come down to a matter of you figuring out how much more of this you can tolerate & what to do about it.  Here are links to 6 articles, from PsychCentral's archives that, hopefully, may be of some help with putting your situation into perspective:You Can Only Change Yourself Stop Trying to Change People Who Don’t Want to Change – Happily Imperfect When You Want to Change a Loved One 5 Ways to Get Your Partner to Change How to Persuade Your Loved One to Seek Professional Help https://pro.psychcentral.com/recover...ng-boundaries/ 
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Member
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Beyond the Wall
Posts: 34
5 |
Nov 07, 2018 at 10:23 AM
#3
It seems to me like you're trying to ask for permission to do what you already know you're probably going to do at some point, and you just don't want the associated feelings of guilt to go with it (if I'm way off base, it's ok to say that)? You have permission.
__________________ “If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a moral one; or it may be a physical one; or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will.” -Frederick Douglass 
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 Blknblu
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Veteran Member
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 639
9 106 hugs
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Nov 07, 2018 at 11:03 AM
#4
Yikes, a week? That is pretty crazy, certainly he has to know that is not normal?
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 47,991
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13 22.9k hugs
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Dec 31, 2018 at 09:35 PM
#5
As the mother of adult sons, I can say that they wouldn't likely listen to me, especially if they think their wife and I are ganging up on them. But I can understand your frustration. My husband doesn't like to shower very often either. But if I tell him he smells, especially when we're ready to go out, then he will. Is your husband depressed?
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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