Been over a week since my husband has showered - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 11-06-2018, 11:31 AM #1
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Default Been over a week since my husband has showered

I'm at my wits end and have no one to reach out to for support. NOTHING works. I've tried being nice and encouraging for months and now I just lose it with him out of frustration. Meanwhile, his mother is out shopping, getting her hair and nails done and will be going out dancing tonight. This is how she spends every one of her days without calling and offering me any support for dealing with her son. All I want to do right now is call and tell her off for being a lousy mother and putting all the burden on me.



I know it sounds like I am complaining, but if I don't vent somewhere I will explode.
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Old 11-06-2018, 12:18 PM #2
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Smile Re: Been over a week since my husband has showered

Thanks for sharing your distress here on PC. My situation is entirely different. But in my own way, I know something about how you feel. Unfortunately, as you no doubt realize, you can only change yourself. If your husband can't, or won't, do what he needs to do to heal himself, there's little if anything you or his mother either can do to cause him to want to. At some point, it may simply come down to a matter of you figuring out how much more of this you can tolerate & what to do about it. Here are links to 6 articles, from PsychCentral's archives that, hopefully, may be of some help with putting your situation into perspective:

You Can Only Change Yourself

Stop Trying to Change People Who Don’t Want to Change – Happily Imperfect

When You Want to Change a Loved One

5 Ways to Get Your Partner to Change

How to Persuade Your Loved One to Seek Professional Help

https://pro.psychcentral.com/recover...ng-boundaries/

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Old 11-07-2018, 09:23 AM #3
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Default Re: Been over a week since my husband has showered

It seems to me like you're trying to ask for permission to do what you already know you're probably going to do at some point, and you just don't want the associated feelings of guilt to go with it (if I'm way off base, it's ok to say that)? You have permission.
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Old 11-07-2018, 10:03 AM #4
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Default Been over a week since my husband has showered

Yikes, a week? That is pretty crazy, certainly he has to know that is not normal?
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Old 12-31-2018, 08:35 PM #5
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Default Re: Been over a week since my husband has showered

As the mother of adult sons, I can say that they wouldn't likely listen to me, especially if they think their wife and I are ganging up on them. But I can understand your frustration. My husband doesn't like to shower very often either. But if I tell him he smells, especially when we're ready to go out, then he will. Is your husband depressed?
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