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Old 03-02-2019, 12:11 PM #1
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Default Need advice on limiting use of Social network

The person i am working with has very limited or almost no friends. Its been quite painful to see her struggling to make friends and feeling isolated due to lack of Social skills.
But this has led to extensive use of Social Network websites where she is able to make friends who are generally bad eggs. This is putting her at great risk as she doesn't want to loose them and is almost on a friend making spree...

I know it will be of no use to stop her from using Social network as its providing her what is missing from her life but then it puts her on risk.

Everytime i try to counsel and ask her to keep a gap as they can be bad eggs, it goes against me and she says i am capable of judging them.
But with her low IQ it makes it difficult for her.

I am really looking for some advise on best approach to handle this.
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Old 03-02-2019, 09:14 PM #2
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Default Re: Need advice on limiting use of Social network

reallly your view of her social network usage is your perspective and whether you're right or not about the rest of your analysis there is nothing to be handled here, if you've already given her what you think is the best advice that's all you can do.

I'm not sure how to say this but do you actually know here IQ?

NOthing more to do with it. if you feel strongly enough stop trying to change her mind and move on. Everyone has their own independent ability to choose to make friends how they see fit and whether each of us agrees or disagrees with how they are doing so it's not at all up to us. We can support people and advise but we can never change them ourselves.

Accept that your friend has rejected your advice and choose either to continue being friends or to move on.
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Old 03-03-2019, 01:26 AM #3
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Default Re: Need advice on limiting use of Social network

My take on this is that you are the caregiver of the person and Im sure a caregiver would know if their client has a low IQ. That would make it harder because the person may have a hard time correctly seeing the dangers posed to her by online friends. I have 3 degrees and was a teacher/librarian but am having this same problem judging who to get involved with online and how to handle those relationships, especially with men . I would show her some articles from the internet about social media scammers, womanizers, etc. Ask her if she would ask these people to be her friends in real life and discuss why or why not these people might be a good or bad choice with some possible scenarios of what could happen, good and bad. I made my two best friends online, one a woman I can see in real life and one a man who is across the country. I nonetheless have to give thought and care to how I relate to these friends. I have made some painful mistakes so I applaud you for trying to protect your client.
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Old 03-03-2019, 03:41 AM #4
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Default Re: Need advice on limiting use of Social network

Her IQ was tested when she was around 12 and was found to be in slow learner's range and it does reflect when she talks.

I understand that sharing my views on Social media is all i can do and its ultimately her choice but then given her condition i ask myself if she is really capable of talking an rational decision for herself? I dont think so at least now when she is in Manic phase. This is the reason why i have been trying to find some way.

@luvyrself: Thanks a lot for your inputs. There are times I have been able to put across my points and she gets it but then after sometime its same story which makes it quite hard.
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Old 03-04-2019, 03:51 AM #5
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Default Re: Need advice on limiting use of Social network

Quote:
Originally Posted by lokiez View Post
Her IQ was tested when she was around 12 and was found to be in slow learner's range and it does reflect when she talks.

I understand that sharing my views on Social media is all i can do and its ultimately her choice but then given her condition i ask myself if she is really capable of talking an rational decision for herself? I dont think so at least now when she is in Manic phase. This is the reason why i have been trying to find some way.

@luvyrself: Thanks a lot for your inputs. There are times I have been able to put across my points and she gets it but then after sometime its same story which makes it quite hard.
---I really get this. For me hypomania is so dangerous with the distorted thinking and one's guard down. Distraction into some more productive activities could help a lot, getting her out, making vigorous exercise fun (water aerobics is my lifeline), encouraging self expression thru hobbies, all that helps me. There was a reality series about Downs Syndrome patients that was absolutely excellent and showed how parents helped their Downs kids navigate romances. She is so, so lucky to have someone who cares. I am currently looking for "mood buddies" to keep in touch with as sounding boards. My guy friend far away on the east coast does this best so far-very level headed.
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Old 03-04-2019, 09:16 AM #6
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Default Re: Need advice on limiting use of Social network

Quote:
Originally Posted by luvyrself View Post
---I really get this. For me hypomania is so dangerous with the distorted thinking and one's guard down. Distraction into some more productive activities could help a lot, getting her out, making vigorous exercise fun (water aerobics is my lifeline), encouraging self expression thru hobbies, all that helps me. There was a reality series about Downs Syndrome patients that was absolutely excellent and showed how parents helped their Downs kids navigate romances. She is so, so lucky to have someone who cares. I am currently looking for "mood buddies" to keep in touch with as sounding boards. My guy friend far away on the east coast does this best so far-very level headed.
It's been so difficult to motivate her to spend time on things she likes. She has interest in dance, drawing and makeup but she just cannot socialise which has made it difficult for her to pursue interests or get a job. People don't like her.

So we end up either just sending her to do various courses which have not yielded much.

I am happy to support but just want her to move in a direction and try for a job. Let's see whats in store for future.
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Old 03-04-2019, 12:55 PM #7
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Default Re: Need advice on limiting use of Social network

I have so enjoyed this thread and I would love being friends with you. I was an elem school teacher and am caregiver to a still fairly active ex with really serious health problems so I face caregiver problems (mainly exhaustion due to his stubbornness and everything that comes along with it). I could really use some caregiver support. Thanks!
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