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Old 03-27-2019, 04:15 AM #1
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Default Hopeless Husband

Hi. Im a new member and would like to share. My husband and I have been married for many years and I am just truly starting to see that I need to be more involved/understand him so that he may make the choice to live for many years. Hes suffered from anxiety/depression for years and it seems that hes at the point of wanting to give up. Hes a skeptic of therapy (tried a few times), rather not take pills as treatment, and believes hes failed and will be a burden to me as the years go on. His mental issues affected, I believe, his work. Hes quit every job hes had (only staying less than 2 years, at most), though hes got a college degree. He believes that hes failed and that if he doesnt find a way to make a living (on his own), life is over. I have encouraged and loved him through the years and I want to believe theres more I can do for him without enabling him. I am struggling to keep strong because Im afraid to lose him. Any words of advice or someone struggling with the same, I would love to hear from you. Thank you for letting me voice my concern. Too often, I have felt alone through this whole experience.
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Old 03-27-2019, 01:05 PM #2
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Default Re: Hopeless Husband

My husband is bipolar and for many years he went with no medication, he has recently started seroquel and he is a compmetely different person. He usevto do the exact same things, quit jobs, buy unnecessary stuff, no sense of accomplishment in anything he did. Try to get him to just a counselor to start, then see if they can change his mind about getting meds if he needs it. And to be honest i threatened divorce,because its not fair, its one thing to do something about it and its another to refuse.
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Old 03-27-2019, 05:35 PM #3
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Default Re: Hopeless Husband

Quote:
Originally Posted by Goldengirl1988 View Post
My husband is bipolar and for many years he went with no medication, he has recently started seroquel and he is a compmetely different person. He usevto do the exact same things, quit jobs, buy unnecessary stuff, no sense of accomplishment in anything he did. Try to get him to just a counselor to start, then see if they can change his mind about getting meds if he needs it. And to be honest i threatened divorce,because its not fair, its one thing to do something about it and its another to refuse.
Hi Goldengirl1988. Thank you for for sharing. My husband has seen a therapist, but like everything he tries, he only commits a few times before saying it doesnt work. I think low-dosage medication may help, but he can be really stubborn. I recently suggested an online support group to him and he wasnt exactly interested. How did you get your husband to even consider meds, if you dont mind me asking.
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Old 03-30-2019, 02:44 AM #4
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Default Re: Hopeless Husband

Has your husband given you a real reason for not wanting to take medication? Or does he give a general reason like " I do not want to rely on pills"?
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Old 04-07-2019, 02:14 AM #5
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Default Re: Hopeless Husband

My husband is the same. I finally put my foot down and told him if he doesn't get help, our marriage won't last. We start marriage counseling next week. I'm hoping the psychologist can help convince him to get treatment.
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