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Old 04-11-2019, 07:33 PM #1
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Default 14 yo boy with depression and anxiety

Anyone have a teenager with depression ? My 14 yo was just dx today. I need help to help him.
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Old 04-12-2019, 06:49 AM #2
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Default Re: 14 yo boy with depression and anxiety

I don't have a teenager with depression (I don't have any kids actually), but I wanted to reply to first welcome you to the site, and secondly to make sure he knows you are their for him and supporting him

try to get him to talk to you about stuff
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Old 04-12-2019, 06:51 AM #3
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Default Re: 14 yo boy with depression and anxiety

I'd also research depression (if you havon't done so all ready), and make sure that when he really needs you and is feeling low, you're both on the same wave length

I'm not saying be soft on him, but what I'm saying is just allow him the time he needs. you can work through it together
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Old 04-12-2019, 08:54 AM #4
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Default Re: 14 yo boy with depression and anxiety

All three of my kids have had depression . My oldest daughter is bipolar and my youngest has Anxiety and depression. One child is on wellbutrin, one is on lamictal and one is on lexapro. My youngest actually was hospitalized when she was 11 for major suicidal thoughts but once they got her stable on meds and therapy she hasnt had those issues. She self manages much better now but it took medication and therapy to get to this point. I would consider medication for your son if a doctor recommends it. It was life saving for all my kids.
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Old 04-12-2019, 11:28 AM #5
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Default Re: 14 yo boy with depression and anxiety

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
All three of my kids have had depression . My oldest daughter is bipolar and my youngest has Anxiety and depression. One child is on wellbutrin, one is on lamictal and one is on lexapro. My youngest actually was hospitalized when she was 11 for major suicidal thoughts but once they got her stable on meds and therapy she hasnt had those issues. She self manages much better now but it took medication and therapy to get to this point. I would consider medication for your son if a doctor recommends it. It was life saving for all my kids.
Sara, how do you deal with it ? It's heartbreaking for me. I'm making him an appt for a psychiatrist but I'm sooo scared of medication making him WORSE. Dont want him suicidal. He's such a loner and his self esteem has gone downbbto nothing. I don't understand. He use to be such a happy kid !
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Old 04-12-2019, 11:44 AM #6
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Default Re: 14 yo boy with depression and anxiety

Hello Momisscared,

thank you for sharing your story. I am not a parent but I was an adolescent with severe depression. Now I'm a healthy adult. The depression is something I understand very well now and can manage independently. I don't take any medication.

I was diagnosed at age 15. It was so severe that they kept trying various meds. The psychiatrist agreed that the meds didn't help. The meds also made me very sick from side effects. Those are some very intense meds especially for a young brain and body. if I knew then what I know now, I would not have taken any meds. They did not help me as an adult either when I tried new ones.

What did help me when I was an adolescent? Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) from a kind and experienced child psychiatrist. I know that in the U.S, psychiatrists tend to only write prescriptions but where I grew up some psychiatrists also provided excellent counseling. I had a wonderful doctor who turned my life around. Looking back, I believe that she saved my life.

Is the doctor saying that your son has unipolar or bipolar depression? That's an important distinction. The two get lumped together a lot under the umbrella term of "depression" but they affect people in very different ways and require different approaches. Mine has always been strictly unipolar.

I think particularly for younger folks, a holistic approach is a great place to start. Is your son open to participating in therapy? I think that could really help him. Also consider his diet, sleep habits, limit screen time (new research on the effects on young brains), physical exercise, any issues at school, any family issues, hobbies, friends etc Unless your son presents with mania or psychosis, I would think of medication as a last resort. See what happens when he has a trained professional to share his thoughts and feelings with....someone who can teach him that he does not have to believe the negative thoughts in his mind.

Although this must be a stressful and confusing time for both of you, please remember that your son is very young and there is hope! You may like to read about the plasticity of the brain. With the right support and approach, your son should start to feel better in time.

If I were you, I would teach him how to meditate. It's a research-based method for decreasing depression and anxiety. There are wonderful guided meditation videos for depression on YouTube. They can also help with sleep. I also recommend researching some male celebrities who live with depression. If there are one or two your son might be interested in or admire, that could help with his sense of self so he's not overwhelmed by the stigma of depression...particularly among males.

There's also wonderful research on the effects of belonging to a group...doesn't matter what size...and I'm not talking about group therapy....just a group with a common healthy goal....people your son can feel connected to. Could be a sports group or some other interest of his. That can help someone to heal and also buffer them against future relapses. I was very isolated as a teenager. I think that was a big part of the problem.

I wish you and your son peace, hope, and a bright future!
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Old 04-19-2019, 08:02 AM #7
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Default Re: 14 yo boy with depression and anxiety

My children were both diagnosed with depression and anxiety as teens. While they both continue to sometimes struggle, one of the things that has helped both the most is finding a good therapist. They have both also been treated with meds, which help, but I can't overstate the importance of therapy. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right "fit" but it's worthwhile to keep trying. I know that's challenging with a teenager, but it's worth it. Do your homework with the meds. Unfortunately, it can take time to get the right medication and dosage. Make sure you feel comfortable with the doc he's seeing and that they take the time to really talk to YOU as well as your son, and the course of therapy they suggest is something you are comfortable with. Good luck!
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